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Write about your hero. Identify who the person is, and why he or she is your hero...... CBEST



Norbsidy 5 / 10  
Jan 6, 2024   #1
PROMPT: All of us have some point in our lives had someone whom we have admired, someone we have looked up to. Write about your hero. Identify who the person is, and why or she is your hero. What qualities does he or she possess that you admire? What have you learned from your hero that has influenced who you are today?

Sometimes, I see heroes as angels sent from above because of their achievements and contributions to the society which has a positive influence in our lives. Some people have celebrities and wealthy people as their heroes, but in most situations, our heroes are closer to us than we expect. Your dad, mum, sister, brother or even your neighbor might be that hero your searching for. My mum's influence in my life cannot be estimated by mere words, especially when my dad died and left me and my only sister. As a single mum, my mum made sure we did not suffer, rather she struggled to provide all our needs. She single-handedly raised me and my only sister. She is my hero.

I was only 9 years old, and my sister was 12 years old when my dad died via a motor accident. His car collided with a drunk driver's car who refused to obey the traffic stop. The most annoying part is that the drunk driver who caused the accident ran away before people could get to the sight. The doctors could not do anything to rescue him from the cold hands of death. Tears poured out like an ocean and our eyes were heavy as my dad passed away on that faithful afternoon, leaving me, my sister and my mum to mourn. I watched the world crumble at my feet. On my dad's grave side, my mum screamed 'I will take care of these children, they will not suffer as long as I live'. She kept to her words.

How did she become such an important person in my life? Growing up, my dad was the financial pillar in the house. As a high school teacher, he provided for the family. After his death, we struggled financially. We could no longer afford new clothes, I was made to wear left-over clothes from my cousins to school. My friends made fun of my clothes and I cried most of the times. I started avoiding school because of this. My mum who worked as chef in a restaurant decided to take a second job as a cleaner in a hotel to buy me all the clothes I needed. She worked 6 days a week, and sometimes had to shuttle between her first job and her second job without coming home. My mum changed all my clothes and friends no longer laughed at me in school. She is a very hard-working woman.

Another quality I admired from my mum is her motivational support in the face of failure. I remembered when I failed my biology exam, I thought I was not intelligent like my peer group. The thought of leaving school was crowding my mind. My mum called me one night, and after looking at my result I thought she will be so mad at me for failing the exam, but rather she gave me a hug. She looked me straight into the eyes and said, "your failure does not define you but your ability to learn from it and move on". She paid for a biology tutor for me who comes to the house to teach me and my biology score on the next exam was the best in the class, in fact I fell in love with course.

I learned a lot from this wonderful woman that perseverance pays, and never to give up in the face of failures. As a result of her support, I fell in love with biology to the extent that I decided to major in Biochemistry in the university. Four years later, I graduated from the university with honors in Biochemistry. As my mum will always tell me 'Your failures does not define you but your ability to learn from them and move on"

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Jan 11, 2024   #2
You are over dramatizing the situation. Keep it logical and based within the realms of reality. The scream of your mother at your father's gravesite is not going to be seen as natural. Screaming is natural, making such desperate claims? Only in the movies. Just say tears poured out, there is no need to exaggerate by adding the ocean to the sentence. The reviewer will know what you are referring to.

Your sister suddenly disappeared from the narrative. Once you mention your sister in relation to your life and why your mom is a hero, you need to include her throughout the discussion. Your mother worked 2 jobs to buy you clothes. What did she do for your sister that made her even more a hero in your eyes? There are 2 children mentioned, so you cannot focus on just your story. Keep it balanced. Share the story.


Home / Writing Feedback / Write about your hero. Identify who the person is, and why he or she is your hero...... CBEST
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