Essay on how the young adults live after finishing their schools

topic : In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Do you agree or disagree with this approach? Give your opinion.

my essay:

The idea that young adult should live with their parents after finishing school seems at the first glance a fair statement, nevertheless it may make assumption that they can live easily without paying for the rent of house and expense of living. As I shall argue this is not the whole picture and there are compelling reasons why young generation should leave their parents after school to be live dependently.

To begin with, graduate students from school can live independent of where their parents live. Some towns have better study options for young generation. If students change their place where they live, they can improve their level of knowledge, crafts and abilities which promote standard of their living. Therefore, parents should accept that their children in certain age leave home. Also, in some cities, there are more high paying job opportunities for students. Migrating to these cities may give them more chance to earn money.

In the other root of such a grave idea is that young generation should accept responsibility for their lives. The best way to built character and confidence is to live alone or with peers. They get more experience without parents. For example, they have to cook and do laundry, vacuuming a ironing. They spend time to buy food, vegetable and fruit.

In conclusion, I once again would like to argue that the best development for young generation can be achieved, when they become responsible for all of their household chores by which young adults can gain amazing experience that are going to be part of them for the rest of their lives.

You have a lot of examples and evidences but also talk about how it is better. I think it's good to tie back to how their independence will help them later on in life.

Sara, you seem to be responding to the wrong prompt. The original question was whether you agree or disagree that students should remain living with their parents or start to share a home with their friends after graduation. That is the question you should base your opinion on. It has nothing to do with the financial ability of the student to live on his or her own. By misunderstanding the prompt requirement, you have already failed this essay. When you are not sure of the topic of the prompt, do not just give an answer so you have something to show as a response. Ask for clarifications about the question so you can give the correct response. Otherwise, all of your work in writing a response will have been useless. As in this case, you would have failed the essay test.

Your agreement or disagreement to the prompt should have been based upon the parental relationship that the children have. If they have a good parental relationship, then most likely, the child will remain at home even after he graduates. In some Asian cultures for example, the children graduate from college and continue to live with their parents, sometimes for the rest of their lives. In Western cultures, the children are encouraged to move out as soon as they reach college age or are able to work for themselves.

The response to this essay should have been based upon your understanding of world culture and traditions. It should not have been based solely upon a question of financial ability. Financial ability is normally the last factor considered by any parent or child when deciding whether to move out or not. Normally, they look into concerns of privacy and independence in decision making. Those are the two factors that often dictate when a child moves out of the house to stay with friends or roommates. It is a question of equality as adults more than anything else.

I hope you can review your essay response and try to revise to better suit the prompt.

hi
thanks a lot for giving me tips.
your idea is good, but I can say your idea is exact why the essay want, because in the essay, they do not focus on tradition or emotional relationship with parents and children.

thanks a lot