Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 7


Young drivers should complete a safe driving education course before being licensed to drive



behieli 7 / 17  
Apr 14, 2016   #1
The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to make all young drivers complete a safe driving education course before being licensed to drive

With the rapid pace of urban life and outpouring cars on highways, we witness increasing number of deadly accidents every year. In addition to careless or intoxicated drivers, which harass the lives of others, many fatal accidents occur for inexperienced young drivers whose thirst for speed drives them to highways. Many are of the idea that compulsory long proper safety driving education for young people can reduce the number of these accidents.

This essay supports this point of view according to the following reasons.
First of all, some times young generation, enthusiastic to experience anything that captures their interest including driving fast, show meager regard toward moral values or safety codes. A legal supervision should be conducted to hinder upcoming careless activities and consequently reduce catastrophic results. With proper, detailed driving education they may internalize the driving rules and attend safety regulations.

As a result, in future they will pay more attention to required safety cods. In addition the age the young who are allocated to drive should be heightened.

Secondly physical and mental characteristics of candidates to obtain a driving license play a key role in his or her driving abilities. Psychological statistics unveils that young people don't show adequate ability to control their anxiety and handle the problem when they are exposed to complex demanding situations. Long safe driving lessons can prepare and evaluate them with required features and abilities to encounter unpredicted situations in driving. An experienced driver reacts calmly facing an accident preventing devastating results.

For the above-mentioned reasons long safe driving lessons can help to diminishing of tragedies in streets. Nonetheless, even a long driving education cannot secure a permanent careful, law-obedient driver; further evaluation is required to guarantee the eligibility of a driver.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 14, 2016   #2
Hi Elahe, upon reading your essay, I must say you have quiet a comprehensive writing here.

The fact is, you have made your point on the topic, traffic accidents is indeed a very pressing matter, everywhere, everyday, there's always traffic accident happening on the streets, may it be minor and most of the time its major accidents, lost of lives, of property and the consequences are far massive than expected.

Going back to your essay, you have quiet a good stroke at writing, you know exactly what you want your essay to say and this is a very good writing style. However, as the introduction as well as the other paragraphs are strong, the conclusion did not show the same strength. I suggest revising it, having said that, I offer the alternative conclusion below;

- From the mentioned reasons, the experience in driving, regardless of how long or short does not guarantee the safety on the streets. Nonetheless, education is our best weapon as well as exercising to become law - abiding citizens.

This is it for me right now Elahe, I hope they are useful feedbacks.
OP behieli 7 / 17  
Apr 14, 2016   #3
@justivy03 Thank you indeed! it was encouraging.
justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 15, 2016   #4
Hi Elahe, thank you for appreciating our work here on EF, the moment I log in each day on EF, I treat as a work of passion, a work aimed at helping people, students and writers alike and there is no better way of starting a day at work than reading feedbacks from students and receiving words of appreciation is definitely making our day.

Moreover, we encourage you to practice writing more often, as mentioned, this is the only way you can be able to get better if not master the craft itself. I also suggest you read far more than you use to, read English novels, literatures and just any other piece of writing material, so long as they are written in English, watching English movies, helped me too, this increased my vocabulary and you will definitely benefit from it.

Well, I wish to read more of your work posted here on EF and I hope our insights are useful as well as helpful in your future writing references.

Keep writing.
OP behieli 7 / 17  
Apr 15, 2016   #5
Dear @justivy03 thank you for your heart-warming comment.
I do feel the necessity to read more in english to gain more knowledge and confidence. Also I feel an urgency to write and practice, because of the IELTS test I'm going to take. Actually, I feel it is better to relieve from the burden of this test and then focus on reading more literature, but I'm not sure really.

I live in a city that, it is not very common to see people communicating in english so participating in this forum is a great chance for me to expand my writing skills.

Thank you for being helpful and supportive.
justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 15, 2016   #6
Hi Elahe, indeed, IELTS is quiet a stressful test, I must say, whenever a student is writing for IELTS, the tension is just intense, you can never be contented with just a writing, it will be draft after draft after draft, sleepless nights and the agony of waiting for that score, is just an overwhelming experience, but believe me, the result is absolutely mind blowing, IELTS is like a confirmation that YES, you know and believe in the language, I believe that the best evidence is the reality that you are able to write an essay by yourself and had the courage to post it here and accept criticisms in order to get better.

One more thing, it is best to try proof reading your work by yourself too.
This will not only practice you on editing but will also allow you to see the difference in your essay, most of the time, we miss a few links, may it be the punctuation marks, the substitution of the subject and this minor remarks may break your language and go to a different direction. So, be very careful.

As mentioned, you just keep on going write more, read a lot, the essays and other writing articles here on EF are absolutely helpful towards gaining future references in your writing.
OP behieli 7 / 17  
Apr 15, 2016   #7
Thanks @justivy03,
I'll do my best.
It will be great to receive your suggestions on my further essays.

Best.


Home / Writing Feedback / Young drivers should complete a safe driving education course before being licensed to drive
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳