Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Essay about Zambia - feedback on information, flow, and format appreciated!



nguyend 2 / 4  
Dec 3, 2008   #1
Need help to make sure this informative essay has enough inforamtion and flows together. Also need help with the format! Thanks again!

"Helping to provide equal educational opportunities and to encourage sustainable development to communities living in poverty in Zambia" is the mission statement of HANDZ, a local non-profit in Oregon working with Zambians (HANDZ). Zambia has a growing population of over an estimated eleven million people; this land locked country is one of the fifty poorest countries in the world and in tropical Africa has the highest rate of urbanization. A continued interest and study of Zambian education, health care, and developing sustainable economies are extremely important in the continued growth of this country's ability to pull itself out of poverty in the future.

The educational system in Zambia has many inadequacies, although many outside sources are helping to improve opportunities for education in which so many Zambians yearn for. In 2003, eighty percent of school-age children were enrolled in schools. Many students do not continue past the primary grade 7 as it is no longer free. Junior and upper secondary grades 8 through 12 must be paid for by the students and families. In some cases not only is tuition payment required, but books, supplies, and uniforms must also be purchased each year.

Many non-profit and religious organizations have arrived in Zambia to help assist young children not only attend junior and upper secondary grades, but move on to higher education at one of the very few universities. Many have also provide teachers at the primary, junior, and secondary levels incentives to stay in their positions, as traditionally public schools cannot afford to pay teachers competitive salaries. After completion of teacher training courses and a short position at a public school many teachers are lost to private school that can pay higher salaries. This imbalance has been quickly identified by groups like HANDZ and several other non-profits in which they continue to offer students financial support to finish secondary school. Their hope is these students will complete teacher training courses and return to educate the public primary grades.

Health care is also affected by financial resources and conditions of service not being very attractive compared to abroad and the private sector. For example in 2003 from 42 graduates from the Medical School only 20 stayed in the public sector the rest went to the Private Sector or abroad. [2] The shortage of trained medical professionals and cost of services is just a couple of the determinants of health seeking behavior in Zambia. In addition, some Zambians must travel long distances between urban and rural areas and with a lack of transportation in some areas the problems become increasingly serious.

Zambia is one of the hardest hit countries affected with HIV/AIDS. In 2007 only 18 per cent of pregnant women in low and middle-income countries were given an HIV test, and only 12 per cent of those who were tested positive went for further screening to determine the stage of HIV disease and type of treatment they require. [3] Many children have lost one or both parents who had AIDS. Although progress continues, there still remains a large gap between education, prevention, and access to health care services for Zambians both free of and affected by HIV/AIDS. Many Organizations advocate for HIV/AIDS prevention issues for youth in Zambia. Their programs heightened awareness among the community regarding the transmission and prevention of AIDS and communicate about issues concerning reproductive health and family planning. The continued efforts of Zambian and other international organizations to bring attention to these issues can only continue to improve the health and care of Zambians future.

Zambia's greatest assets are its healthy and educated citizens with a vested interest in its sustainable development. Primary areas of diversification include fostering investment in tourism, manufacturing, gemstone mining, hydropower, and agriculture to reduce the economy's reliance on the copper industry. By promoting its rich resources Zambia may see better days ahead

At the downturn of the copper market in 2000, as many as, 8000 people lost jobs related to the copper industry. It was estimated each of those 8000 unemployed were supporting at least five other family members within their communities. Many of these workers returned to more traditional means to earn a living in rural and urban areas. Farmers, traders, and some entrepreneurs depending on the local needs, conditions, and levels of development in their communities.

Most of the sustainable living projects are initiated by and for local residents. The economical growth is also primarily local and based on cooperative initiative and ownership. This grows ownership and provides a sense of community. CCF Zambia, a Mumbwa child development agency, has implemented a program on rearing goats to create sustainable income. This program provided 360 families each with four female goats. Male goats were provided to groups of 20 families to share and produce offspring. Families waiting to be involved in the program receive the first four female offspring produced. The two main advantages of goats are they are not as prone to disease as other livestock and reproduce within a short time. This program, like many others was developed by organizations outside of Zambia and continues to be maintained by Zambians to improve their family and community income levels.

Many villagers are famers who produce enough food for themselves and a small surplus to sale at the markets. Most land has been owned by chief under customary law who allocate it for use. In recent years new laws have allow residents to obtain personal ownership of land. This was done in hopes of allowing these famers the ability to obtain credit, produce more, and in turn become prosperous. Changes like this help promote sustainable economies and work toward a goal of Zambia being one day a developed country.

Zambia is still one of the poorest countries in the world, though it possesses a wealth of resources. Much of the growing population of eleven million people continues to survives on less than on dollar a day in both urban and rural areas. Though matters are improving, it will be a long time before the nation

hasnaahmed 3 / 14  
Dec 3, 2008   #2
Ok Zambia is going through many difficulties.
Pick one difficulty and introduce in first sentence and then introduce Zambia.

Let's say a person died for lack of transportation in Zambia.Your example can be " an article named death for lack of transportation caught my attention in the newspaper. I read the horrible story about zambia.

You know if you tell a story admission office is more interested in you.

I am not good in editing. Sorry.
OP nguyend 2 / 4  
Dec 3, 2008   #3
Thank for you input!

Does anyone have any editing advise?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Dec 3, 2008   #4
Open with the name of that organization:

Horses and Nearly Dead Zebras (HANDZ), a local non-profit in Oregon working with Zambians, has this as its mission statement: "Helping to provide equal educational opportunities and to encourage sustainable development to communities living in poverty in Zambia."

The educational system in Zambia has many inadequacies, although many outside sources are helping to improve opportunities for education for which so many Zambians yearn.

Zambia is one of the countries most severely affected by HIV/AIDS.

Much of the growing population of eleven million people continues to survive on less than on dollar a day in both urban and rural areas.

Though matters are improving, it will be a long time before the nation... it looks like you cut off the ending?

Great essay, few mistakes!!!

:)

Kevin
OP nguyend 2 / 4  
Dec 3, 2008   #5
Thank you! This service has been very helpful!


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about Zambia - feedback on information, flow, and format appreciated!
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳