Amusing its readers - Grammar Check for Macbeth Essay

Hi! I have to write one paragraph analyzing a satirical Macbeth parody, and I was hoping someone would do a quick grammar/fluency check on it.

The author's primary purpose in writing "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" was to amuse his readers. By using satire and conceit, the author is jokingly relating the classic tragedy of Macbeth to modern day mysteries. "-At first I suspected Banquo. And then, of course, he was the second person killed. The person you suspect of the first murder should always be the second victim" is an example of how the American woman is using common mysteries as a template of how the events in Macbeth should play out. "-they fled after the first murder. That looks suspicious. Too suspicious. When they flee, they're never guilty. You can count on that" shows how cocky and overconfident the woman is. She assumes that no matter what scenario is, certain events in literature are simply mandatory- they are practically unquestioned principles to her. "Then he comes running downstairs and shouts 'confusion has broke open the Lord's anointed temple' and 'sacrilegious murder has made his masterpiece' and on and on like that. You wouldn't say a lot of stuff like that, offhand, would you- if you had found a body? You wouldn't! 'My God, there's a body in here!' is what an innocent man would say" shows her blatant ignorance of the culture from that era. The fact that people conversed in a much different style at the time seems to have escaped her. The rich, carefully chosen language in the novel was meant to add depth and beauty to the writing, not to be used as a "hint" to some mystery. The conceit strategy that was applied greatly added to the humor and wit of this parody.

Just wondering, doesn't there should be a comma (,) before And then? At first I suspected Banquo, and then,

The author's primary purpose in writing "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" was to amuse his readers. By using satire and conceit, the author is jokingly relating the classic tragedy of Macbeth to modern-day mysteries. Give a little intro to warn the reader before breaking into a quotation! "At first I suspected Banquo. And then, of course, he was the second person killed. The person you suspect of the first murder should always be the second victim" -- here is an example of how the American woman is using common mysteries as a template of how the events in Macbeth should play out. Again, tell the reader that so-and-so shows certain traits by explaining, "They fled after the first murder. That looks suspicious. Too suspicious. When they flee, they're never guilty. You can count on that." This shows how cocky and overconfident the woman is. She assumes that no matter what the scenario is, certain events in literature are simply mandatory; they are practically unquestioned principles to her. ...

You just have to introduce quotes with some sort of introductory phrase. In academic writing, if you break right into a quote without introducing it, it is called a "dropped quotation." That is a bad habit, so it is better to lead the reader along with an intro phrase for each quote.

Oddly enough, my ap literature teacher always told us to avoid introductions to quotes. She told us to just "jump into the quote", and claims that introductions will come out as cliche.

"The author's primary purpose in writing "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" was to amuse his readers."

Shouldn't it be "is" instead of "was"?

I must disagree with your teacher. The definition of a cliche from wikipedia: "a saying, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point of losing its intended force or novelty" (This definition is quite accurate). Parallelism and consistency in style do not count as cliches. Also, adding an introductory phrase before a quote makes your essay flow smoother (unless you are opening your essay with a quote, but that is not a dropped quote).

Well, I can see where the intro phrases like "he explained" and "she replied" can seem cliche. In novels it is cool to give dialogue without introduction -- let the reader figure it out! But in formal academic writing, when you quote somebody you should be very clear about who you are quoting.

Anyway, it is her class, so do it her way!! :)

If you are writing this for the teacher who wants you to leap into quotes, then you should follow your teacher's advice. If you are writing this for anyone else, then add an introduction, both to explain where the quotation is from, and why you are giving it.