Santiago, Personal Legend and traveling - The Alchemist

Prompt: In many works of literature, a character goes on a journey that changes his or her life. In a well-developed composition describe how Santiago's journey changed his life and explain how the journey relates to the work as a whole.

My thesis (my teacher told me it has to be descriptive and one sentence) : Santiago goes on an expedition that will be difficult and hard to overcome, which King Melchizedek persuaded him to go on to discover his Personal Legend: of determining more about life, throughout the book Santiago focuses more on uncovering his Personal Legend then what traveling is truly about: Life is about the journey, not the destination.

Is this good or really bad? I REALLY NEED HELP.

The story line is good, I can get the message you are passing through the write up but the write up looks short. Any word limit? Give more details. Your essay looks like a summary.

--->Santiago goes on an expedition that will be difficult. ---->Santiago went on an expedition that was difficult. Instead of using ' : ' why not use ' , ' comma?