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Advantages & Disadvantages of COMPUTER GAMES; "foundation English level 2"



aadan212 1 / 6  
Mar 5, 2013   #1
Topic name; the effects of Computer games "Write at least two advantages and one disadvantage".
Word count 553
I want to you to help me on my essay.My teacher always talks about cohesiveness of the sentences and my usage of signs such as comma , full stop and so on is not that good. Please comment about it in your best.

Strategic thinking,Relaxation,Physical Probs; Advantages&Disadvantages COMPUTER GAMES

In the 21st century, technology has made a clear impact to the world and computer games have become a crucial part of our daily life. The number of people play computer games has been increasing rapidly for the past years, due to the availability and the accessibility of computers at home or at internet cafes. Playing computer games brings about positive effects such as; thinking critically and relaxing for our minds. However, they also bring about negative effective; playing overtime results physical problems to the players.

Firstly, playing computer games possess from the players to think critically, in order to win matches or proceed to the next stages of the game. Some of the games are very tough and no one can win easily, unless he/she thinks for a while, which I believe it is good for the players, because they learn how to think, plan ahead strategically and solve their problems. One of the most popular games that are played in most of the countries is mission game. The players are required to rescue a person from a jail without seen anyone. So, the one who is controlling the game has to think and plan every move from the first step up to the last step, until he wins or loses the game.

Secondly, we can relax for our mind by playing computer games. After working a long time, surely our mind needs to have some kind of relaxation, and playing such games can be a good way to have a relaxation. Moreover, by the time we play, we can do many other activities such as; we can listen to music, because we don't use our ears to play instead we use our hands. Gamers can listen to their favorite music and still manage to play. In addition, players can chat with their friends directly or through social networks websites. Computer games create a friendship and have become a socializing tool to build and strength strong relationship between friends (Lestch, 2007).

Third, playing computer games overtime brings about health problems. Most of the players, who spend much time in front of the computer, usually end up with sigh problems, because of the light from the screen of the computer. Due to that sight problem, they can't see from a distance which may affect their personal activities such; studies. Studies discovered playing games overtime could entail health risks such as obesity, eye damage, and exposure to radiation (Schmitt, 2001). On the other hand, sitting on a chair for a long time with-out exercising brings obesity or overweight. Most game players don't exercise; instead they eat junk food, which is not good for our health. The combination of eating junk food and not exercising can easily result obesity in a short period of time.

In conclusion, as the technological development is taking place and making an impact day after day, computer games have become a part of our daily life. Playing computer games results in positive effects such as; it demands from the players to think strategically and it gives the players an opportunity to relax their minds. However, it also brings about negative results; playing them overtime often results in physical health problems such as; sight problems and overweight.

temptprovidence 8 / 162  
Mar 5, 2013   #2
The number of people play computer games

a number of people.. "the" if used means the total number of people in observation...

Playing computer games brings about positive effects such as; thinking critically and relaxing for our minds

it should be..."Playing computer games brings about positive effects such as; thinking critically and a source of relaxation for our minds"

they learn how to think plan ahead

they learn to think and plan ahead

playing such games can be a good way to have a relaxation

One of the most popular games that are played in most of the countries is (are) mission games.

to some extent you have made repetitions of points... overall a good essay... good points discussion :)
OP aadan212 1 / 6  
Mar 5, 2013   #3
thanks for your reply, but i didn't get the difference between the number and a number of people. The second point is, if i use thinking critically as the first point am not allowed to use another kind of verb, it should only be as a form of ING. By the way thank you very much again and again.
OP aadan212 1 / 6  
Mar 6, 2013   #4
Please guys help me, I am tired of revising this essay. I have read it and corrected many, there are no more changes that i could make, even tough I know there are some mistakes. Please it is last minute work, I have to submit this essay on this coming day...so help me and revise it.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Mar 6, 2013   #5
In the 21st century, technology has made a clear impact to the world and computer games have become a crucial part of our daily life.

In the 21st century, advancement of communication and information technology made a huge impact on the life-styles of people and computer games have become one of such new additions in their daily routine.

The number of people play computer games has been increasing rapidly for the past years, due to the availability and the accessibility of computers at home or at internet cafes.

The numbers of players have been rapidly increasing during past few years with high level of availability of the computers and easy accessibility of internet.

Playing computer games brings about positive effects such as (no ;) thinking critically and relaxing for our minds. However, they also bring about negative effectiveseffects such as playing overtime results physical problems to the players.

Third, playing computer games overtime brings about health problems. Most of the players, who spend much time in front of the computer, usually end up with sigh problems, because of the light from the screen of the computer.

This is ok, but I think the biggest issue with playing games is "addiction". The children waste time without their knowledge. Also, most of these games indirectly encourage people to engage in harmful things. That's bad.
temptprovidence 8 / 162  
Mar 6, 2013   #6
can i ask duminda to explain my point of the and a number of people...??? help me i am not good at explaining...
OP aadan212 1 / 6  
Mar 6, 2013   #7
thank you very much for your reply moderator. Thanks again and again.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Mar 13, 2013   #8
can i ask duminda to explain my point of the and a number of people...??? help me i am not good at explaining...

"
Okkkkkk....
'A number of' will form a plural subject. Have a look at the following examples;
Example 1
A number of people who gathered there were foreigners.
There are a number of plants that grow in this extreme climatic condition.

As a subject, 'The number of' with other words is singular. For example;
The number of players in the team is 11.
The number of items to be sold is 20.
Mistakes occur if other words are added after the number 30 or 51. For example, 'The number of pupils in this class is 30 people.' is wrong because you are required to give a number only. Likewise, it will be incorrect to write 'The number of tickets left for sale is 51 tickets.' for the same reason.


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