I'm having some trouble understanding my teacher's directions. [About theses]

My teacher sent us all this e-mail this morning.
"Essay Part One instructions
After reading the following instructions, you should see a list of the short stories that were assigned to read and discuss. The story that you choose for this assignment will be the one that you will work on for Part One and Two of the Essay assignment.

Because literary analysis can be difficult for many students, and summer semesters are too short to allow sufficient time for improvement of writing skills, Essay Part One assignment is structured for success!

I want you to be successful. I am giving you the theme that I want you to use as your theme sentence in your thesis statement. I have also provided the short fiction element I want you to focus on in your essay.

Use the theme wording exactly as I have written it. It should be the last part of your thesis statement structure. There are examples in the course lessons and the textbook. The example on page 14 - 17 is a good example of the correct thesis structure I am looking for.

If you can write a critical analysis thesis statement, correctly, you will have a solid foundation for your essay development.

Tobias Wolff's "Hunters in the Snow"- If you choose this story, use the following short fiction element and theme:
Short fiction element: Setting and Atmosphere
Theme: Placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior."

This was already posted as Essay One information.

"Part 1 - A list of themes for the assigned short stories will be provided to you. You will be asked to choose one and compose a critical analysis thesis statement. You will also provide examples of evidence from the story to support your thesis statement and show correct MLA in-text documentation for each example."

So, know that you all know the facts, here's where I am confused. Must "Placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior."" be included in my thesis statement? I guess I'm a bit confused about how to include it if it must be. I really apreciate everyone's help. =)

Well, the instructions say you should model your thesis statement on an example in your book. So, look at the example. Replace the last part of that example with the theme statement given you by your teacher. Then, look at the remaining parts of the thesis statement and try to figure out how you would have to alter them to make them fit with the new last part. This would be easier if you posted the example thesis statement here, btw . . .

The examples are just examples of thesis statements though, nothing to do with this partcular story. Should I still post them?

Well, yes. You are supposed to model your thesis for the story on the ones in the book. It will be much easier for us to guide you in your efforts if we know what base model you are using.

"Eveline's Catholic upbringing as a dutiful daughter makes impossible her hopes for a happier life."

"If Eveline had been born a male instead of a feamle, she might have escaped her unhappy homelife, as her brother did."

"Eveline, "trapped like a helpless animal" by her deathbed promise to her mother, is morally unable to break her vow and flee her miserable home to seek a new life for herself."

Those are my examples.

Hmmm . . . I'm guessing then, that your thesis structure should look like this:

"A statement about the characters' violent behavior"

"Placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior."

"Thesis that combines the two ideas above."

So, you have been given the second of the two ideas that you need to combine to create your thesis. However, you need to come up with the first idea, one that deals with the story you are supposed to be discussing, and then merge the two ideas to come up with a full thesis. In other words, what you need to add to get your thesis is something that ties the theme back to the story, that explains how the theme is developed. That's how I would interpret the instructions, based on the example you posted.

So, let me make sure I'm correct. ""Placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior."

" needs to be in the thesis but with other things to support it?

You can't just use "Placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior." as your thesis because your essay is supposed to be on a particularly story. The statement at the moment says nothing about the story. So, you have to add to your thesis something that would make it relevant to the story in some way.

This may sound crazy, but why not ask your teacher? S/he claims to have structured the assignment in this way in order to make it easy for you to complete. If you do not understand the instructions, ask for clarification from the person who gave them. We might guess incorrectly and steer you in the wrong direction.

EF_Simone, she's on vacation and unreachable.

------

I wrote this, is it okay?

Tub, Kenny and Framk edure the freezing hell of winter with terrible results, had the weather been a bit different things may have ended a bit better; placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior.

It sounds about right, though I haven't read the story, so I can't critique the content. The structure matches that of the examples you gave, though.

In [name of story] Tub, Kenny and Framk edure the freezing hell of winter with terrible results; hence, [name of author] suggests that, placed in a severe and brutal environment, male camaraderie often leads to violent behavior.

Ah, yes -- adding the name of the story and author seems like an excellent idea, even if the example you posted omitted them.