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Help on inclass essay (my future career goals)



Stevo99c 1 / 1  
Oct 8, 2009   #1
Hey,
I have to do an in-class on my future career goals. I have to make a strong thesis statement to start things off but I'm not sure how I would go about making one for a personal essay.

I want to
-become a private school teacher
-coach hockey and lacrosse (at school and outside)
-support my family and spend time
-maybe work with hockey organization somewhere

can you help me with a first paragraph please?

Thanks

coalerz 2 / 6  
Oct 8, 2009   #2
Did you wan to become a private school teacher or Coach or a private school coach?

I think it would be best to stick with one thing you know most about and have the most history with. If you play hockey or lacrosse you could talk about how your history playing either of the two has inspired you to coach and teach other about the sport.

I would stick with a goal of becoming a teacher or coach but not both. That way you avoid jumping around between topics
OP Stevo99c 1 / 1  
Oct 8, 2009   #3
I would like to do both, coach and teach at the same private school.
But I think they might be able to be combined into the essay?

Any ideas on thesis statement to open it, i need to get a good start then ill be able to keep writing
EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 8, 2009   #4
Like coalerz said, but I think you can include both, since they are related. Begin with a general statement about education and its value to to you, then narrow down to your desire to be involved in education as a professional.
syntaxmonster /  
Oct 12, 2009   #5
you can also add some passion that will really show people how much you want your goals
desmond - / 2  
Jan 1, 2011   #6
A well organize essay to explain my goal: Have no idea where to start..

A well organize essay in which you explain a goal you have set for yourself. Fully developed and logically organize.
amjeezy 5 / 17  
Jan 1, 2011   #7
make it a narrative. tell your goal through your story by giving a background. for example, i want to be a doctor, and i would start off the story about mein my home country of sudan, and how i witnessed the dedication doctors have put into their work and to save their fellow man. that i want to become this doctor, because it is a noble profession. and i would elaborate on that
desmond - / 2  
Jan 1, 2011   #8
I think that's a good idea, will surely elaborate on that.Thank you


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