Humans are both blessed and cursed by a conscience and self-aware mind. This adaptation has allowed the species to conquer its planet, and dominate all other life on it. With its resulting intellect this creature develops systems with which it builds great empires, and accomplishes impossible tasks. The blessing of a complex mind: however, is a double-edged sword. The conscience mind is eager to acknowledge monotony, and be tortured by the tedium of the day-to-day trappings demanded by a mortal life. Any conscience being who acknowledges an indifferent universe must seek purpose within it.
Without purpose the human mind will find itself preoccupied by a constant ennui brought on by constant tedium. Purpose is a motivator and a distraction. Purpose allows a constant mind to shed its torturous preoccupation with tedium, and evade insanity for whatever time it remains to exist. For the sake of argument ones purpose can be classified as one of the following: inherent, found, and created. An inherent purpose is one bestowed onto an individual by a higher power, or a purpose that exists as an attribute of that individual's existence. Such a purpose is impossible in an indifferent universe. Found purpose is a purpose an individual finds for himself within the natural world. Created purpose, a specific facet of found purpose, is purpose created by and created expressly for that individual. Purposes such as these are sought because they help define an individual and provide a basic course of action, thusly saving the individual from monotony without purpose.
John Gardner's' dragon from his novel Grendel, explains why purpose must be found or created. The dragon explains that "Things come and go," (Gardner 70) "In a billion billion years everything will have come and gone several times, in various forms"(Gardner 70), The dragon is establishing the scale of time in the universe; on such a large scale the actions of any being have little importance. He explains that in the long-term perspective the choices of an individual do not matter, and because of this any purpose is just as valid as any other. Hoard gold, kill men, feed the poor, be nice to the stupid, any purpose makes just as much sense as any other according to his logic. It does not matter, as long as you pick one. The dragon goes on to explain how everything within the universe arises as a result of a virtuous circle, "complexity beyond complexity, accident on accident" (Gardner 71). This establishes that everything is the result of natural processes, time, and chance; therefore nothing has any inherent meaning. Meaning is an abstract concept, existing independently from the natural world, and therefore can only be assigned by an intelligent mind. If the dragon's model of the universe is true there is no intelligence with the authority to assign value and purpose. In such a universe no inherent purpose exists, there is no power to assign value or purpose, therefore any purpose must be found or created within the natural world.
One must also pursue purpose in this world because of an innate desire to do so. Beowulf encapsulates the innate desire that motivates a mortal being for the search of purpose. To understand Beowulf's motivations; however, the groundwork of his society must be understood. The beginning of Beowulf's society is one that begins and ends with man. His world is based on a pre-Christian culture, there is no god dealing out worth and purpose, in the end a man is not judged by god, but by his fellow man. A man's value in his world is based solely on his actions, and a man's actions are guided by his purpose. This means that any purpose for someone in such a society must be found or created within this world because without such a purpose a man has no measure of worth. Beowulf has a created purpose. His purpose is to earn the reputation of a hero, and more importantly the legacy such a reputation entails. Legacy is his true goal, as a conscious being Beowulf is aware of his mortality, and if he is temporary what is his true worth? A temporary creature such as him, with such little impact on the universe must not be worth much. But a hero's legacy is not so temporary, he seeks his heroic legacy because a sense of purpose gives a mortal man value. This drive to pursue value could be ascribed to anyone; purpose will give rise to the pursuit of value, and all seek value. Grendel found value as the brute existence that drives mankind, Unferth found value in heroics, and Deloris found it in lasagna.
Unferth shows that just how vital purpose is to a man, and that destroying a man's purpose can destroy the man as well. In the beginning of Grendel Unfurth is the model hero. When Grendel deliberately attacks the mead hall for the first time Unferth tries to make soaring speeches and slay the monster Grendel. Before he can even begin attacking the monster; however, Grendel manages to turn Unferth's entire display into a complete mockery of him and his ideals of heroism. Unferth, unraveled by Grendel's actions during the first attack, confronts him in his cave about his remarks on heroism. This is where Unferth's true beliefs are revealed, he beings with the songs and poems about his defeat of Grendel, but he quickly delves deeper into the real reason he has become a hero. Unferth explains that heroism gives him something to aspire to, and "makes the whole struggle of humanity worthwhile" (Gardner 89). Here it is revealed just how similar Unferth and Grendel truly are, they both recognize the inherent lack of meaning in the universe, but where Grendel chose to refuse to find or impose any meaning onto the world, and falls into wanton destruction, Unferth found a created purpose in his ideals of heroism. Unferth comes to Grendel as a true hero, Grendel acknowledges his heroism by saying "he was a new kind of Scylding"(86 Gardner). But Grendel denies Unferth a hero's death, and carries Unferth back to the mead hall. This completely destroys Unferth's heroic ideals, and soon Unferth crumbles as well. At every raid from that point on Unferth throws himself at Grendle, sometimes in disguise even, in hopes of martyrdom. Unferth grows old and bitter, quickly coming to tears over the taunts from other warriors. Unferth was once a great hero, but when Grendel ruined Unferth's Ideals he destroyed his purpose and Unferth became a weak coward.
Any conscious being, which recognizes an indifferent universe, must create or find purpose within their natural world. The character Beowulf reveals just how humans strive to find purpose and value for their lives. Unferth characterizes how a man without purpose is nothing, and how a man who looses his purpose can be destroyed. The dragon from Grendel explains how in an indifferent universe there is no inherent purpose, so purpose must be found and created within the natural world of those in search of it. A man is defined by his purpose. A purpose drives a man to action. Action can earn a man merit. Although in an indifferent universe purpose may be contrived it is all that drives humans, and gives all things their value.
This essay would be much easier to follow and more compelling if you told readers what you were trying to prove quickly. With that in mind, I would recommend rewriting your opening paragraph so it concludes with a thesis statement, a brief summary of the point you're trying to make and ideally the supporting evidence you'll use. For example, you could write "Through the dragon's musings, Beowulf's quest for glory, and Unferth's collapse,.John Gardner's novel Grendel shows the importance of purpose and implies that we need to create or find it ourselves." This tells the reader what you're trying to say and lists your main subtopics in the order you'll cover them, which will make moving from one point to the next and linking each point to your overall argument easier.
Before your thesis statement, you should provide enough background information that people can understand it. As you do so, try to write using concrete imagery rather than abstract concepts. I don't know how to explain this without an example, so I'm going to write one:
In my junior year of high school, I made a mistake that I thought would be a blessing: I chose not to work so I could have more free time. I got my free time, but I quickly discovered that without a job to give my life structure and meaning, I grew restless and unhappy. I had everything I needed to survive, but something in me told me that I needed to do more. The number of people who build monuments out of Legos, get high scores in Pac-Men, or solve 10,000 piece Jigsaw puzzles suggests I am far from alone in needing a purpose. Nor am I the first to recognize it. For proof, consider John Gardner's novel Grendel. Through Beowulf's quest for glory, Unferth's fall, and the dragon's musings, the novel shows that everyone must find a purpose to be happy.
This is far from perfect, but I hope it illustrates how much stronger concrete examples are. If you need proof removed from this essay, consider the Bible. There is a reason it says "take the beam out of your eye, and then you will see clearly enough to take the spec out of your brother's" rather than saying something like, "Before you judge others, recognize your own faults." Images are more fun to read and easier to remember.
I have two other suggestions. First, rewrite the paragraph on Beowulf and your conclusion so the first sentence states what the paragraph will be about rather than making general observations about humanity. For examples, see your paragraphs on the dragon and Unferth. There are two advantages to stating the main argument in each paragraph's first sentence:
1. It helps the reader follow your argument ;
2. It's more specific to the subject, so it feels more relevant and therefore more interesting.
Finally, when you present evidence from the text, explain how it supports your conclusion. Right now, you frequently present the evidence and state the conclusion you draw from it without referring back to the text. That means the reader has to figure out how the text supports your conclusion. Even if all of your readers are intimately familiar with the text, and motivated enough to create the links, they might not see the evidence you see. Even if they do, you'll look more credible if you take the time to point it out. For example, in the paragraph on the dragon, you state:
The dragon goes on to explain how everything within the universe arises as a result of a virtuous circle, "complexity beyond complexity, accident on accident" (Gardner 71). This establishes that everything is the result of natural processes, time, and chance; therefore nothing has any inherent meaning. Meaning is an abstract concept, existing independently from the natural world, and therefore can only be assigned by an intelligent mind. If the dragon's model of the universe is true there is no intelligence with the authority to assign value and purpose. In such a universe no inherent purpose exists, there is no power to assign value or purpose, therefore any purpose must be found or created within the natural world.
Consider something like:
"By attributing everything in the university to "complexity beyond complexity," the dragon implies that it comes about from a combination of natural processes, time and chance too vast for even the sharpest mind to understand. With "accident on accident," the dragon suggests these events occur not because of some divine hand or overriding purpose but because of chance. If the dragon is right, then without an external authority to give life meaning or the ability to explain how and why it originated, people must find or create their own purpose."
The idea is to point out which parts of the text lead you to each conclusion. The reader will still have to make some leaps (for example, they'll have to understand what "accident" means), but the leaps will be much smaller and easier to make. As a result, they'll understand and believe you more often.
You can probably tell that I have fun giving feedback on essays. However, I want to make sure that it's useful. Am I being helpful? Am I giving you too much information at once? Also, are you comfortable with me trying to use examples from your essay rather than generic examples?
