I haven't been in school in over 25yrs this is my first essay. Would appreciate some reviews
Thanks
I've always heard there are no differences in recreation for the middle to upper income families and lower income families, but is there really a difference and can that difference impact a child's life if they were from the lower income family?
When families are from middle or upper class, they can afford more things for their children, like education, and recreation. The upper class family has access to some of the best recreation facilities around like private gyms, pools, tennis courts, they also have organized sports. Low income families face many barriers that prevent access to recreation like user fees, equipment costs and transportation. They also have to depend on inadequate or no facilities. The families that come from poverty are more worried about surviving and can't provide things that higher income families can provide like housing, meals, health care and recreational programs.
Millions of children live in poverty. Some live on the streets some in dangerous, dirty housing that lacks the basics including water and heat. Some neighbor hoods lack adequate schools or playgrounds. Many of the children in poverty doesn't have time to play because at a young age they need to get jobs and help support the family so the need for recreation is forgotten because of other concerns. Most, lower income children have never participated in an organized recreational activity. About 90% of all recreation facilities charge user fees for aquatics, athletics and other programs. Families living in poverty must use their financial resources to pay for food and shelter. A lot of families living in poverty can't even afford to buy their child a book to read because of other obligations. . Some states have free facilities for children but they have inadequate equipment and not enough volunteers to keep the doors open leaving the child with no safe place to play. Other states may have summer rec. programs or camps that offer a lottery for a scholarship to the camp or program. At one time if the low income family had transportation they were able to go to National parks and beaches for free. Now the National Parks and Beaches are also charging fees for parking and/or entry. Most museums, aquariums and other arts and cultural event have entry fees.
Most children in poverty are called "Latch Key Children"[1]. They come home to an empty house until their parents come home from work. Some of these children are as young as six. Imagine leaving a six year old to fend for themselves. Being a latch key child eventually will lower self-esteem and damper their social and physical well being.
Studies have shown that recreation for children and older youths raises self-esteem, increases skills, promotes team work and provides role models. Recreation is also said to help children have a social and physical well being.
There have been studies though not conclusive that the lack or recreation for the younger child would start alienating them from children their own age. A young child needs that socialization to start growing and learning how to accept others for whom and what they are.
As a child grows older and has idle time on their hands that child tries to fill the void individually, usually falling into bad crowds. Once this has taken place the child has more of a chance to experience academic failure early pregnancies and crime. Not to mention drugs and alcohol. This doesn't mean all children of poverty will end up this way, or that all children from an economically secure family will never become a victim of the above situations because they won't and they will, but the child from poverty has more of a chance for the above scenario.
There are many private organizations, often focus their donations to specific institute or religious groups which still leaves some of the poorest without. There are also some areas that have missions that offer recreational activities.
In Warsaw Missouri there is a mission called City Union Mission. CU Mission started in 1924 as a place where men, women, and children could seek safety, food and rest. The mission is not government funded so the mission depends solely on donations from individuals and other organizations. In 1933 CU Mission started summer camps for children with low income. The camps accommodate 380 children age 7-16 and 160 children between the ages of 4-6 to make it fare each week a different age group will attend. The rotation goes for 5 weeks. The camp offers swimming, hiking, dramas, sing time, sports, crafts and bible study. CU Mission also offers a much needed after school program for low income families that includes tutoring and other activities. This facility is wonderful for the people it helps in Missouri. The major problem here is that we don't have enough of these facilities to help every child in need. Thanks to Bill Clinton Harlem has a very nice facility for after school tutoring and activities. There are several other states that have mission type organizations to help with childhood recreation but they are not all as safe and clean as they should be. Because of the lack of funds going to these recreational centers and the fact that there is no governmental funding, these organizations can't keep equipment safe or the building safe for that matter. These missions need support from the community and surrounding areas to keep going on helping these families that so desperately need it. The only way that these facilities can keep helping is if the surrounding communities open their eyes and realize that financial help is needed and that the only way that the centers are going to get that help is by the support of others.
In 1989 The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child States "The child had the right to rest and leisure...play and recreational opportunities." The lack of recreation for low income children is not only a problem in the United States but all over the world including but not limited to Australia, Canada, India, Ireland, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. None of these countries have been able to come up with a solution to put more recreational facilities into poverty stricken areas. The only way foreseeable is to stop poverty its self, we have been trying that one for centuries with no luck. These children deserve more from their country. Their voice is not heard since they do not vote. We need to stand up for these children and be their voice. They need more facilities, missions, churches, or just parks with trees to climb, fresh air to breathe, grass to run and play in. Instead these children have unsafe parks with drug dealers and gang bangers lurking behind trees, unsafe equipment to play on. Swing sets with no swings on them. The missions and other facilities closed down because of no money and lack of security and volunteers. But again without our voices children of poverty will still have no voice and nothing will change for the better. Things will just get worse.
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[1] Latch Key originates from the early 19th century, when children in a similar situation would wear the key to their home tied to a string and wore around their neck and were responsible for their own care.
Hi Michelle, I'm sorry! I think I accidentally posted this when I was just beginning to work on it! I'll finish my comments below:
Many people like to do this think where they start with a paragraph that consists of only one sentence, but if you are trying to demonstrate good composition, do an intro para of 4-5 sentences.
In this case, the thing to do is extend that intro sentence into a whole paragraph. Do that by adding a sentence that conveys, in a single sentence, what the message of the essay is. Add that to the intro para. Then, add ANOTHER sentence that explains and clarifies what you said even better. After you do that, the second paragraph will serve as evidence to support the argument you are making.
But is that second para even necessary? It is a lot of statements of the obvious. The whole para is quite obvious. What are you really trying to say? We all know, for example, that local property value determines the school budget, so this is clearly an advantage for the rich kids. But don't spend a whole para telling the reader that wealthy areas have an advantage.
I see that you have many statements of the obvious. Go through this and remove those so that it is all interesting! A common problem people have when they are not in practice as writers is to write things that are too obvious to ever say aloud.
This below is a 2 sentence paragraph. What is it's main idea? Add a topic sentence to the beginning of it:
There are many private organizations, often focus their donations to specific institute or religious groups which still leaves some of the poorest without. There are also some areas that have missions that offer recreational activities.
I'm glad you are participating here! Thanks for helping these other writers, you are great. Please help lots of other people if you have time. :-)
