The essay promt is as follows:
1-2 pages essay in English, explaining a) your motivation for choosing the programme and ETH as the institution for your Master studies, and b) the research area at our Department of particular interest to you
This is a draft of my letter, and any feedback/help will be appreciated greatly
I am interested in applying to the Master's program at ETH, Zurich in Chemical and Bioengineering. I am passionate about working in the fields of pharmaceutical drug design, drug delivery, nanoparticle engineering and functional biomaterials. I feel that a master's degree in this specialized field will help me gain the requisite knowledge, skills and experience to pursue a career in R&D in the pharmaceutical industry, where I can help develop novel drugs and treatment methods for diseases such as diabetes and cancer.
Today, the world is experiencing a diabetes epidemic, and the WHO Global Report (2016) on diabetes demonstrates that the number of adults living with the disease has quadrupled since 1980 to 422 million with 1 in 5 diabetics found in India. It is for this reason my country has been labeled 'The Diabetic Capital of the World'. I have been a Type-1 diabetic myself for more than two decades, and I can say that I have an insight to the challenges faced by diabetic population of the world. This keeps me motivated to study further with an aim to engineer effective solutions to treat the disease. This can be achieved in the form of injection insulin loaded biodegradable nanoparticles or novel low-cost continuous glucose monitoring (CGM) systems.
It was these acuities that motivated me to pursue a project in Continuous Glucose Monitoring (CGM) systems in my third year of college. Our project team proposed a minimally-invasive CGM system consisting of a swellable hydrogel microneedle array, and glucose oxidase (GOx) immobilized TiO2 nanoparticle based amperometric detection. My contribution to the project, specifically, was designing various electrodes and obtaining the required response. This was achieved after a comprehensive survey of existing literature. It was my first experience in the research domain, and the experience was very rewarding and educational. It prepared me well to face the various challenges in research
It was in my final year at college that I had my first full research experience. I worked with my peers on a project for my Major Thesis. In this project, I modeled the transport of fluorescein-a dye/drug analog through the human cornea in a novel multi-drop approach. Here, I learnt to apply chemical engineering concepts of diffusional mass transfer and partition equilibria to solve real medical challenges faced by doctors and clinicians. The experience deepened my understanding of fundamental chemical engineering concepts, as well as the discipline of chemical engineering. The goal of the thesis was to assess the reliability of the multi-drop method, which was accomplished but more research is required. The project also gave me exposure of the role of chemical engineers in modern medicine, as well as an introduction, albeit a limited one, to biomedical engineering.
In addition to these academic endeavors, the experience of founding and running the college quiz team was gratifying. It taught me lessons in entrepreneurship, effective written and verbal communication, team management and leadership skills.. My association with the chemical engineers student association also helped me improve my interpersonal relationships, teamwork skills, organizational abilities and time management.
Since my research interests are distinctly interdisciplinary, I jumped at the opportunity to work at the Nonlinear Materials & composites research lab in the prestigious Indian Institute of Science (IISc). Here, I work full-time with a team of dedicated researchers of all age groups and different backgrounds. This has allowed me to interact and discuss science with a variety of people. The experience has been very enriching and has broadened my perspectives, be it the way of looking at a certain problem or the process of arriving at an optimal solution to one.
My decision to pursue graduate studies at ETH is motivated by the high quality of research that is being pursued. The pharmaceutical industry is one of the largest in Switzerland, and is also home to some of the largest companies in the world such as Novartis and Hoffmann-La Roche. This makes Switzerland one of the best countries to learn from in areas such as drug delivery and functionalized biomaterials, with leading proponents such as Prof.XXX and YYY of the. As the world moves forward, there will always be a need for better treatment of disease as well as novel drugs for treatment, and I know a training in this area will be a very important and relevant one.
Thus, I believe that with my extensive research background, I am ready for my graduate studies and maintain the high standards required at ETH, Zurich. The experiences and friendships, and the knowledge and skills gained from the university will help me solve the multitude of problems we currently face in the world.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Ramakrishna, you can safely remove the reference to managing the college quiz team in this essay. That and its succeeding information are not strong enough to make an impression on the reviewer in the same way that the previous paragraphs in your essay can do. Removing this reference will continue to strengthen the work you are presenting.
Make sure to present verifiable information in your essay. Always mention the project title of your thesis and any other major papers that you worked on with a summation of the content as well as information about its publication (if any). The reviewers are aware of the hard work and strong foundations that the potential MS students have so they always want to know more about your background and abilities in research and knowledge in the field that they might not get from just your application documents. So take advantage of the opportunity to give them the strongest information possible about your research background. This is after all, masters studies we are talking about and most of your time will be spent doing research related to your dissertation topic.
Speaking of which, where is your potential dissertation topic proposal summary? As a type 1 Diabetic, I was hoping to read that you would be using the facilities of the university to further research technological and chemical advancements in this field based upon specific concerns you have for your own health that can help other people. Please make sure to develop that research portion of your essay as the reviewers also consider the information in the final consideration of your application. Such questions show how you will work with notable names from the university, use the university resources, and hopefully, publish another paper that will this time, show the collaboration between the university and the student, thus highlighting the leadership of the university in this field of research. You already mentioned that Zurich is one of the medical capitals of the world, so make sure you ride that wave of recognition in your application to help make it stronger.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783 Yes, definitely include an overview or summary of your college studies. Mention your accomplishments in that arena as well. To be specific, you will need to mention the college you attended, your college degree, as well as any honors or academic accomplishments that you might have earned during your college days. Make sure to include any publications that may have taken note of your class projects or your own written work. Just keep it simple. Don't over discuss your college days. Don't talk about your exam results, class organization memberships, or other unrelated information. However, if you were a member of a relevant school organization wherein you accomplished something notable, in relation to your degree or line of research, make sure to serve up a quick, verifiable discussion regarding that as well. Those sorts of early information about you will show the reviewer that you have the strong and solid foundation to complete this demanding course of study within the allotted amount of time.
