Letter to apply for the Masters in prestigious university like yours for the winter intake 2015

Graduate Letter of Motivation for admission in Europe's University for Masters in Computer Science

Dear All, I have to submit letter of motivation for admission in Masters Program and I have finalized below letter, please check and advise with your valueable comments so that I will be submit as soon as possible.

Thanks to all in advance.

Dear Sir / Madam

I am writing this motivation letter to apply for the Masters in Program Computer Science in prestigious university like yours for the winter intake 2015. By writing this letter, I aimed to explain the reason of my interest in the Computer Science. I have completed my BS (Hons) Degree in Computer Science from xxx city, country, in September 2012. I have a strong academic record with CGPA of 3.16 puts me among the top five candidates of my class. It has been my acute desire to get higher education since my high school. This desire played the role of inspirational force behind my achievements. In order to pursue my desire, I decided to do Bs (Hons) in Computer Science from which is highly rated as a best University of Technology with well IT equipped which helped me to perform different labs. Being an Honor's student in Computer Science I have learned basic aspects of Computer Science.

My passion for Computer Science was started after finishing my Intermediate study. At that time Computer Education Industry was in developing phase in Pakistan. After finishing my Intermediate study I got enrolled for 3 months Short Course in Information Technology from xxx Institute for learning basic education in Computer Hardware and Networking. With the passage of time I was getting familiar with the basic Computer Hardware and Network Technology. It was very interesting that I decided to choose the field of Computer Science for getting more knowledge in same field. During my intermediate study program I started online learning from different IT learning online portals which helped me to elaborate my knowledge towards the IT field.

When I got enrolled in bachelor's degree the true endeavor started for the field of Computer Science. During my graduation I have got skills and comprehensive knowledge about Computer Programming Languages likes Object Oriented Programming, C++, Visual Programming, Web Engineering, Software Engineering, Computer Network, Artificial Intelligence, Operating Systems, Networking and Communication Technologies. As the time passed my thrust of knowledge increased I wanted to learn more and more than in my final year project I wish to work on a technology I have never used before. So with the advice of my supervisor I choose "Mobile Networks" in mandatory final year project and successfully completed project within the time frame and got 84/100 marks.

My program of interest is Masters in Computer Science and I wish to gain the advance knowledge of Computer Science, Networks and Communication. So that I will be able to conduct research through the facilities available at the University as well as work with professionals during my academic tenure. I am looking forward to gain massive knowledge and experience. I am applying to acquire several set of advance knowledge and Masters Degree which will be very helpful to meet my goals and also helpful for my strong career in practical field of Computer Science

I have attached all the required documents for acceptance into the Master's program. Thank you so much for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

You made a mistake in the formatting of your essay. You seem to have mistaken a motivation letter for an actual letter which it is not. Rather, a motivation letter is written in essay form. It is not formatted in the same way that you would a letter. Change the overall format of your letter to make sure that it reflects an essay form.

Open the letter immediately with a statement that indicates the course you are applying to and the reason that you are interested in pursuing these studies. It is important to immediately establish your motivation for higher studies rather than presenting a long introductory statement because you need to catch the attention of the admissions officers at the soonest possible time. They need to be enticed to consider you based upon an immediate impression of yourself as a possible student at the soonest possible time. This is always established within the first 2 sentences of your introduction.

Don't give your academic biography in your motivation letter. College accomplishments and other achievements should only be read about in the supporting documents and not in the motivation letter. The motivation letter should only indicate the strongest possible reasons that you have on the academic, professional, or personal side that will indicate an imperative need for you to complete these studies.

Thank you so much for your valueable suggestion, i do try my best to reformat letter and post it again for your review.

Can anyone give me favour that reformat my submitted letter of motivation? I will be really thankfull.