education despite many difficulties
My name's Muhammad Khan and I'm from Peshawar which is located in the North-Western region of the Pakistan. I was born in 1993 in Khyber Agency (FATA). I belong to middle class family. My mother is a house wife and father do work for living. I grew up in non-educational environment. Not much people from my village that have high education, much of them finished their education in junior school, even many of them did not graduate to high school. The reason why they did not keep going their education is the education expenses.My family was no exception. But not me, I have a strong desire to keep going to higher education, and I want the peoples from the village can get higher education in the future.
As I mention before that my family was not rich enough to pay all my education expense. Throughout my education career I face lots of difficulties regarding money, things and place to stay.I have a strong personality and desire since I was a little boy. Everything that I want to be I will always find a way how to bring it into reality. My passion for Engineering led me to choose a Qurtuba Public School, where I studied science subjects. When I decided what to do in Edwardes College at 2010, I chose a major that would allow me to focus on Civil Engineering. The course involved the study of Maths, Physics and Chemistry. At 2012 I got admission in BS Civil Engineering department from one of reputed university of Pakistan i.e. University of Engineering & Technology, Peshawar, Pakistan (uetpeshawar.edu.pk/). During my studies I worked part time to fulfill my expenses. After 4 years, I completed my B.Sc Civil Engineering in First Division. After completing my Engineering I worked at Ahmad Ullah Khan & Co Company as a Designer and Site Engineer for 6 months.
I've known Korea since eight years age. I learned how Korean people's culture and education system through my brother, he worked in South Korea. Korea as the top nation in East Asian that have a great education's system and environment as compare to other countries. The KGSP seems like a dream come true for me. Its and exceptional opportunity. Only a few countries in the world offer such unique approach to education like this program does. In my opinion and statistically, the Korean education model is one of the best in world and I would like to be part of it. For me, Korean culture has no equal in its diversity and uniqueness. I think I can expand my horizons on economy and relation in country.@khan5885880
Hello,
The essay covers the key points for a self - introduction essay!
But some words or sentences are unclear i.e not following to make the point powerful.
Did you rush through the writing?. Take the time needed and read your essay out loud to yourself. By doing so you will find out where words have not be used probably.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Muhammad, your essay fails to explain the reasons why you feel a strong desire to study a masters degree in Korea. More importantly, you have to mention the masters course that you plan to take and how it relates to your college major and your current profession. You need to further develop your professional experience paragraph. Offer a clear paragraph that explains your development at the company, your duties and responsibilities, and what problems you encountered which led you to believe that you needed to study more about the subject. The fact that you have a brother working in Korea is a plus for your application. It offers a clear motivation as to why you would have chosen to study in Korea. Please remove the reference to you knowing about Korea from the age of 8. That is unimportant here. What is important is the motivating, academic factor that pushed you to study in the country. What makes you think that you will be able to succeed in your studies in Korea? What are the reasons you have for choosing to study there ? Your paragraph in reference to that is empty. It does not contain any personal information or an understanding of what is required of a KGSP scholar. You need to better develop the content of your essay because right now, you do not have enough material to fill the page.
