The real battle began at 7:30 AM as I lurched over, gasping for air, my legs burning furiously, utterly overwhelmed with fatigue. For over an hour I had been scaling up and down a steep hill, and with one more set left every fiber of my body was telling me to abandon the workout. But I refused to quit. As I started the last ascent of hill repeats a familiar clash ensued between my mind and body. With each successive stride I took uphill I fought my physical pain and exhaustion with determination and intensity. Only through sheer will was I able to focus and power onward. Six years of similar daily battles in track practice groomed me for more than annual meets and championships; in fact, they prepared me for the challenges of life.
The most important value that I learned from track was to respond to adversity with a relentless work ethic and drive for success. My coach often said, "It's not how many times you get knocked down; it's how many times you get back up." This principle helped me rebuild my life after the night of January 14, 2006. On that night, everything that I once was passionate about dissipated, as my "NO's" were taken as an inviting tease, and my paralytic shock an affirmation of consent.
In the aftermath of my rape I was consumed by embarrassment and shame. Unable to tell my friends and family about the ordeal, I suffered in silence and tried to handle the situation on my own. For over three years, I let the experience control me. Naively, I tried to suppress my emotions, finding temporary solace in transferring schools and engaging in more questionable diversions. However, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, the repressed pain and paranoia always seeped to the surface. Often it would manifest at night while I lay awake, wondering if I could have fought harder or screamed louder. The internal anguish of these thoughts of what I should or could have done differently haunted me, exacting an enormous toll on all aspects of my life.
Despite my overwhelming emotional fatigue, I maintained that glimmer of determination and drive that running track had instilled in me; a commitment to never quit. Eventually this underlying attitude led to my resolution to be a survivor and not a helpless victim. However, the catalyst that moved me to take action on this resolve was the loss of my biggest diversion, track, to injury. With track no longer a distraction from my anguish I found myself at a crossroads between a life resigned to the continued torment of suppressed pain and a life redeemed by purpose. I was finally ready to make a change and walked through the doors of the Rape Crisis Center, where I began my journey of survivorship.
While my arduous journey from victim to survivor was neither quick nor straightforward, filled with frustrating setbacks and hard-fought triumphs, it ultimately empowered me by compelling me to accept accountability for my recovery. By acknowledging the painful reality of my assault, I recognized that I, and not my pain, had control over my life. Through therapy and introspection I learned what causes anxiety in situations of adversity, as the fear of judgment and lack of confidence had made me apprehensive to confront the reality and pain of my assault. Understanding this helped me to develop the ability to summon my inner strength and courage to combat those feelings of discouragement and master challenging circumstances.
I fully embrace every part of this journey, which has tested me in ways that I could have never imagined, far more than those hill repeats ever could. The good, the bad, and the ugly have transformed me, strengthening my character and revealing the courage and true resilience of my spirit. While my experiences may not be entirely unique, my response to these challenges is what sets me apart. Even as I have stumbled from time to time, I have always found a way to rise above any obstacle life has set before me. Through confronting and surmounting my own hardships I have learned the true power of tenacity, which as an active legal advocate I will use to fight against the social and economic injustices that plague society.
My ambitions to practice law first emerged from a summer IT internship at the United States Supreme Court. While my internship dealt more with computers than law, I took full advantage of the opportunity to attend and learn more about the legal proceedings of the Court, which fascinated me. After a candid conversation with Justice Clarence Thomas about the ability of law to change the dynamics of society and the individual, I knew that I wanted to pursue a legal career. I am motivated to take on the rigors of the legal profession by the prospect of someday being the voice of justice and empowerment, not only for survivors of rape -- particularly in countries where it is being used as weapon of war -- but also for those whose rights have been infringed upon.
In my search for an institution that would allow me to merge my interests in international law and human rights, American University Washington College of Law stood out. As one of the nation's top schools for international law, I believe that American University would provide me with the best in-depth understanding of the concepts and issues in the field. American University also has an impressive study abroad program that allows students to gain a first-hand perspective in the field of international law. Furthermore, American University has personal appeal for me, since a substantial amount of my support system, family and friends, resides in the X.
With my unique and diverse combination of experience and skills, I know that I could be an asset to X as well as the legal profession. Throughout my professional experiences I have demonstrated an ability to assimilate information quickly, balance my time among several competing interests, and lead effectively, with a commitment to hard work and perseverance. While I may not fit the typical mold of an X law student, I am confident that the determination and hard work which made me a competitive athlete and a survivor, would help me to achieve success at X. What I hope is seen in my record is not inconstancy or inability to excel, but the path of someone who refused to let obstacles deter them. There is nothing I am more proud of doing than persevering.
