Hello all-
I've been trying to get into English Ph.D. programs for the past 2 years, and have been unsuccessful. My GRE scores are not too bad, I have an M.A., and I've now been adjuncting at a local college and have been accepted to 2 conferences. I'm thinking it's a problem with my personal statement. I'm not sure that my research interests are focused, and viable. (I'm thinking of doing some more research/reading and choosing a new area of interest)
But could we take a look at the statement I used this year and see if anything jumps out? I think I was trying to be too personable, and need to really get down to business in terms of describing a research focus, and displaying more of my knowledge and skills. But I would love feedback.
Thanks so much! (Using the Rutgers U. one as an example).
"When I was 4, my mother tells me I would read the New York Times to my twin brother, who would listen in rapt attention as I held the newspaper, which was almost as tall as I was. She says from the moment I could walk and talk, I was grabbing for anything I could read. I think this was the beginning of my career in literature, and from that point on, I was a voracious reader.
After a brief, dissatisfying career in publishing upon graduating from the University of Rochester, I switched into academia and found my interests piqued by the literature courses I was taking, and my passion rekindled. Writing my Master's thesis this summer at the CUNY Graduate Center, despite the envious looks I would cast out the library window at the sunny city as I spent my time writing away, I discovered the fulfillment of bringing my literary interests together into a written work of my own research. I had long considered the idea of a doctoral degree, but embarking on my thesis and finishing my Master's degree allowed for no further hesitation about which path to take. It became clear that academia is a pathway combining my interests and objectives, and promises a lifetime of brilliant colleagues with which I can surround myself.
At the Graduate Center, my Liberal Studies M.A. provided me, as the degree title suggests, with the freedom to enroll in any course I desired, for the most part. I took Anglophone African Literature, women's studies courses, and a particularly engaging course on Atlantic Studies, which combined history, literature, and sociology. Another class, Global Decadence, gave me a new appreciation for authors like Wilde, James and Mann. As I took classes on a variety of periods and genres of literature for the degree, however, I kept returning to my interest in the modern period.
For my thesis topic, I expanded on a term paper I had written, and proposed the idea that young female protagonists in the novels of three authors - Jamaica Kincaid, Edwidge Danticat and Tsitsi Dangarembga - display features of psychological anxiety related to their development within changing social structures of the contemporary postcolonial setting. I included work of theorists such as Fanon, Bhabha, Spillers and others to attempt to explain the psychological difficulties the young women protagonists encounter in the novels at this time, as mental illness, rebellion and a kind of cultural and emotional "arrested development" ensues. Dangarembga particularly, whose two protagonists become "infected" with the disease-like representation of anxiety as they attempt to rebel against their nuclear families, creates a subtle mirroring of the upheaval within the external political scenario of Zimbabwe. Danticat, especially, deals with women's developmental sexual experience as a site of trauma, made possibly more acute by the overwhelming patriarchy and sexual purity norm which the Haitian women of the novel promulgate. New literary insight is available, I feel, from women's adolescent experiences in these dynamic social environs explicated in these texts, including attempts to locate identity and contend with ego structures.
I believe I have only scratched the surface, even as I contemplated theory and these connections as I wrote my thesis. For my doctoral studies, I'd like to focus on the project I have already begun: examining the genre of postcolonial fiction, and joining the discussion regarding literary analysis within this multicultural diaspora. What began as a topic germinating in my mind for a paper has brought me to a subject rich with opportunities for further discovery. I'd like to continue exploring this genre and the contributions women authors are adding to this body of literature, as well as continue to build a strong foundation for my studies within the intersections of psychoanalysis, gender and literature.
With Rutgers' strong reputation in the area of gender studies, and a number of faculty members in my area of specialization, I know I would have a productive environment to work within.
Meeting with Professor Shockley and speaking about the program, I was excited also to learn of the many opportunities for interdisciplinary undertakings, which I think would fit very well with my research. The tight-knit community I also learned of as well as the vast amount of resources within the Rutgers network would make my experience a fruitful and positive one, both inside and outside the classroom.
For now, I will be presenting my thesis at a conference at San Diego State University in July, and have begun my teaching career with a teaching assistantship at CUNY's John Jay College of Criminal Justice in two sections of Modern World Literature, an experience that has afforded me an opportunity to connect with students, and in turn help them connect to the material presented. Through the generosity of my assigned professor, who provided time for my participation in class lectures, I have also learned that I am motivated toward and very much enjoy the teaching aspect of professorship as well. I only hope to continue on this path, and use my past experiences, as well as the resources afforded to me in the future, to complete a doctorate, and gain a tenured position at a research university. I have truly found an exciting venue for my interests, and I only hope to continue to seek challenge, undertake research, and learn in the university environment."
You have a little awkwardness right at the start, here:
"When I was 4, my mother tells me..." I know what you mean, but it sounds wrong and is a bad way to start. Fix it with a comma:
"When I was four, my mother tells me, I would read the New York Times to my twin brother. He would listen in rapt attention as I held the newspaper, which was almost as tall as I was. --- as 2 sentences, each is more solid, more powerful.
She says from the moment ... another awkward part.
From the moment I could walk and talk, I was grabbing for anything I could read. ---- There is a lot wrong with this sentence. From the moment I took my first steps, I have been chasing after literature.... ---- This would solve the problem of "could walk---->talk----> read... but it is still sort of cliched. Like, it is sort of typical to say, "From the moment I could walk I was figure skating," or "From the moment I could walk I was practicing kung fu. It is overdone... to say you have loved this since you were little.
You have a point that you leave undeveloped... the thing about an unsatisfying publishing career. You just mention it and then abandon the topic. Instead of mentioning lots of things that do not affect the reader, things that are just informational, you should create an experience for the reader. Make every sentence count, every phrase.
Chop off those first few paragraphs. Start the essay with sentences that have key words... words which will introduce the theme expounded in your work: specific aspirations in literature and gender studies. This is an important paragraph:
For my thesis topic, I expanded --- this is the paragraph where we get to read something really interesting. Boldly make your point about the importance of these areas of study, and boldly tell about your plan for the next five years.
:-)
