First of all thanks to the moderators of this site, for such a wonderful job. Even though it's my first draft, yet to be modified, I request you to comment on my statement of purpose for masters/phd.
What is benevolence of technology in the real sense?
When I visited my grandmother's village, I saw people with no access to hospital or doctors. People had to travel to far off places to get their illness cured. Even if they visit doctor in a far off place, they can't travel so frequently for eg: if the doctor has to change the prescription in case of patients not responding to the previous medicines. So which technology solves this problem? Does placing a computer in every village in a country mean that all the problems of people are solved? But yes, with mobile phones becoming cheaper has given a way to solve many problems.
I was fortunate enough to work on innovative project called Project X, in {company name}, which aimed at solving the above problem. It's a health initiative which would ensure timely intake of prescribed medication for the patients using sms alerts. And also the system would send the medicine intake response report to the Doctor/Hospital who can diagnose the disease sitting in a remote place. I designed the architecture and developed the system under the guidance of renowned Research scientist X at Y Company. Conspicuously, this ensures technology is available to anyone! Working under Research Scientist like her gave me good turning point in my life and propelled me towards my goal.
My profile is actually my story.
My interest in biological science dates back to my childhood. Daughter of a gunny bag seller, who strive to earn for her daughter's education, I am blessed to have such a wonderful support from my parents. Fresh into high pre-university school, I chose Biology as one of my subjects to pursue my childhood dream of becoming doctor. But my profound interest in the sciences along with concrete foundations in mathematics propelled me towards a bachelor's degree in computer science and engineering at prestigious X university, with passion for biology always at the back of my mind. And also the engineering degree well suited to my financial situation at that time. I also received scholarship from Alumni association of college. The learning absorption was unique, especially towards the end of my bachelor's degree. The catalysts were my wonderful final year project X sponsored by Company A and Company B. We built software for Project X, government of India's flagship program for achievement of universalization of elementary education in a time bound manner, making free and compulsory education to the children of 6-14 years age group, a fundamental right. The software we built using php and MYSQL and it was quite challenging for to address the scalability issues while designing this application to cater to 192 million children.
At the same time, I continued to improve on my communications, organizational and technical skills. I successfully completed workshop conducted by Company A and was one among the 20 members to pass the IBM certification exam and certified as IBM Associate Developer. And my project X got selected in state level project symposium- X hosted by Company A and Company B. Additionally I drew from my experience to teach students, the computer programs. This solidified my basics and boosted my knowledge of the field. Aside from technical activities, I am national level shooter, and was selected one among 32 candidates from karntaka and Goa directorate in National Cadet Corps (NCC) and was awarded as Golden lady in my pre-university college. In my undergrads, I got selected for All India Yoga Competitions, one among 6 members from my university and was awarded as "VTU BLUE".
My career thus far
After graduation I took job to allow myself time to thoroughly think through my plans and expose myself to variety of work situations as well as to financially strengthen myself and my family. This strategy has been very precious to me in rounding out my career plans. In my 5.9 years of experience I have had firsthand experience with wide array of industry projects. This has stimulated me to think how computers could be used for scientific research. Especially the work on emerging markets in India carried out at X labs fascinates me - Designing innovative ways to solve the common man problems. One of the projects I worked on Project X has gorged me with good learning experience. This project aims to radically simplify web experiences that will help even non-tech savvy users realize the potential of the web. A user's web interactions need to be encapsulated so that the interaction is personally familiar, uncluttered and accessible with minimal effort. I have submitted research papers at several conferences on this topic. For instance, I submitted a research paper in Conference A, a worldwide technical symposium held at Company A and got honorary invite for the same and presented the same at Florida USA. During my tenure at Company A, I have got exposed to research environment and studied various papers and implemented the applications from the scratch.
I have enjoyed and been strong in areas that require logical, analytic thought, and I am anxious to combine my interest in biomedical engineering with my knowledge of, and aptitude for, computer-related work. There are several specific areas that I think would lend themselves to research based on computing techniques, including neural networks especially research in the field of transmission of information through electrical and chemical signals and several other topics in neuro engineering, Genetic algorithms, Biosensors. Organic chemistry has been one of my favorite subjects since my pre-university education, the chemicals reactions and the complex structure of chemicals etc. Hence I want to explore the related field protein fielding in biomedical engineering.
And BME at Purdue has a plethora of opportunities. Weldon School of Biomedical Engineering has key partners in the medical device industry and I have also interacted with Prof X and found her work on Project X inline with my interests. Even though I am applying for research programs in biomedical engineering, unique BIOMEDSHIP program provides options for combining research with entrepreneurship in the context of biotechnology.
My ultimate goal is to earn a PhD either directly or after enrolling to master's program, which will give me time to explore my various interests and make a more informed decision about which specific discipline I will want to study in depth. My long term goal unleash myself in a university or other institution which is involved in scientific research
I believe I have the qualities to be a good researcher and a teacher. I am an extremely creative person and incorporate diverse ways to look at a problem to obtain the best possible solution in terms of efficiency and impact. I approach teaching as a comprehensive form of discussion and will capitalize on my former teaching stints to create learning environments where both the student and the teacher are mutually benefited.
I think the field of biomedical engineering is primed for huge leaps and bounds in our understanding and incredible innovations will soon follow and I look forward to contributing my fresh perspective on all subjects.
Hello,
This essay is all over the place. It reads more like you are talking about your extra curricular activities rather than why you are a good fit for this program. I have quite a few clients from India, and I can tell you firsthand that about 85% write an essay very similar to this one. Almost all of them submit an initial essay talking about how bad healthcare is and how they will fix it. This formula will not work as many will submit essays stating the same story. The key here will be to highlight your experience in a powerful way, a way that focuses on research and development. This is what most Bio-medical Engineering programs want. - We can help -AAO
Hope this helps.
Thank you for the suggestion. I agree that the essay is too lengthy. I wanted to know the reactions as to what to include or what not to.
But however, the project X I worked on in company Y was designed to solve the problem I stated in the 1st paragraph. Its not a general problem. It was specific requirement of that project, As I am undergrad in Comp Science and don't have experience or studies in Biomedical field. I thought it would be good to stress on the healthcare projects I worked on.
Regarding my extra curricular activities, do I need to put them in another document?
Can you please elaborate on how my approach is wrong?
