Dear all,
The following is the autobiography for my graduate school application. I have been editing the autobiography many times; but I am not an English-native speaker, I don't know if there are some incorrect usages or grammar. I need your help to find out the inaccuracy. I will very appreciate your help :)
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My name is ***; my English name is ***. I was born and grew up in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. Like the sunshine here, I am an extrovert and optimistic person who always brings happiness to people around me. My personality helps me establish a lot of friendship. My friends see me as an active and energetic person. In my leisure time, I like to go swimming, get exercise and go to movies with my friends. In addition, my friends and I usually discuss class work and study together a lot and by so doing, we encourage each other. About my family, I come from a middle-class nuclear family with five members: my parents, two older sisters and I. My parents did not receive higher education formally, but they always share with us the wisdom of life that cannot be found in textbooks, such as how to be a better person, how to lead a better life, and how to resolve a difficult problem. My parents love us very much; they teach us to think independently and allow us make our own decisions. Now, I have decided to study abroad to pursue my master's degree in France, and this very decision is highly supported by my parents. I should not and will not disappoint them.
When I was in college, I worked hard on my academic study and extracurricular activities. My overall academic performance for each semester was all above 80 and I even got the scholarship of Academic Excellency in 2010. In order to prepare for my further study in France, I took French as my minor. While I was learning French, I became fascinated by it; this fascination has strengthened my motivation to study in France. Moreover, English is also a focused talent of mine. I am granted the TOEIC Gold Certificate. In my college years, I participated in extracurricular activities in addition to academic pursuits. I have served as a volunteer in various community services, including teaching English to the underprivileged students in the rural area and teaching Chinese to internation students in Taiwan. I have also been elected as the class representative twice and the emcee of our graduation exhibition closing ceremony. Participating in these activities, I had an opportunity not only to help others but also to cultivate my leadership.
The reason why I am applying for this program is because I have a strong passion in the luxury and fashion field. For me, fashion is an addiction, an obsession, or a hobby. I like sitting in the magazine section of the school library, flicking through fashion magazines and developing my understanding in the field of fashion and luxury. However, the more I know, the more curiosity I have about product development, marketing strategic, brand management, communication or others I do not know. Besides, I desire to learn the skills related to luxury and fashion management and then put them into practice. The internship required by your program will be a golden opportunity for me to practice what I will have learned in your institute. Furthermore, studying in your school enables me to have a great opportunity that I can experience the multicultural and international environment. In France, I can also polish my French ability, which will increase my potential to work in a French-speaking country.
My ambition is to be a leading role in a leading fashion/luxury institution or international corporation. In order to reach the goal, I have planned for my graduate study. I will enrich professional knowledge and sharpen practical skills in or out of school; I will put my effort on the class and participate school seminars and exchange information with schoolmates and teachers or with coworkers and supervisors during the internship enthusiastically. At school, I will join student clubs to develop skills of interpersonal communication, to take responsibilities and to develop leadership. Meanwhile, I will be a self-motivated learner; I will continue my language learning process, developing my French proficiency to B1-B2 level and English to C1-C2 level. During the school breaks, I will go travelling around France or other countries nearby to expand my perspective, to take up challenges and adventures independently. I strongly believe that the program you provide is the best preparation for a career in the business world. I am ready to be one of your students, and to develop my professional aptitude under your guidance.
Your admission is crucial for my launch to a career in fashion and luxury fields. I sincerely hope that you may approve my application.
The following is the autobiography for my graduate school application. I have been editing the autobiography many times; but I am not an English-native speaker, I don't know if there are some incorrect usages or grammar. I need your help to find out the inaccuracy. I will very appreciate your help :)
--------------------------------------------------------
My name is ***; my English name is ***. I was born and grew up in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. Like the sunshine here, I am an extrovert and optimistic person who always brings happiness to people around me. My personality helps me establish a lot of friendship. My friends see me as an active and energetic person. In my leisure time, I like to go swimming, get exercise and go to movies with my friends. In addition, my friends and I usually discuss class work and study together a lot and by so doing, we encourage each other. About my family, I come from a middle-class nuclear family with five members: my parents, two older sisters and I. My parents did not receive higher education formally, but they always share with us the wisdom of life that cannot be found in textbooks, such as how to be a better person, how to lead a better life, and how to resolve a difficult problem. My parents love us very much; they teach us to think independently and allow us make our own decisions. Now, I have decided to study abroad to pursue my master's degree in France, and this very decision is highly supported by my parents. I should not and will not disappoint them.
When I was in college, I worked hard on my academic study and extracurricular activities. My overall academic performance for each semester was all above 80 and I even got the scholarship of Academic Excellency in 2010. In order to prepare for my further study in France, I took French as my minor. While I was learning French, I became fascinated by it; this fascination has strengthened my motivation to study in France. Moreover, English is also a focused talent of mine. I am granted the TOEIC Gold Certificate. In my college years, I participated in extracurricular activities in addition to academic pursuits. I have served as a volunteer in various community services, including teaching English to the underprivileged students in the rural area and teaching Chinese to internation students in Taiwan. I have also been elected as the class representative twice and the emcee of our graduation exhibition closing ceremony. Participating in these activities, I had an opportunity not only to help others but also to cultivate my leadership.
The reason why I am applying for this program is because I have a strong passion in the luxury and fashion field. For me, fashion is an addiction, an obsession, or a hobby. I like sitting in the magazine section of the school library, flicking through fashion magazines and developing my understanding in the field of fashion and luxury. However, the more I know, the more curiosity I have about product development, marketing strategic, brand management, communication or others I do not know. Besides, I desire to learn the skills related to luxury and fashion management and then put them into practice. The internship required by your program will be a golden opportunity for me to practice what I will have learned in your institute. Furthermore, studying in your school enables me to have a great opportunity that I can experience the multicultural and international environment. In France, I can also polish my French ability, which will increase my potential to work in a French-speaking country.
My ambition is to be a leading role in a leading fashion/luxury institution or international corporation. In order to reach the goal, I have planned for my graduate study. I will enrich professional knowledge and sharpen practical skills in or out of school; I will put my effort on the class and participate school seminars and exchange information with schoolmates and teachers or with coworkers and supervisors during the internship enthusiastically. At school, I will join student clubs to develop skills of interpersonal communication, to take responsibilities and to develop leadership. Meanwhile, I will be a self-motivated learner; I will continue my language learning process, developing my French proficiency to B1-B2 level and English to C1-C2 level. During the school breaks, I will go travelling around France or other countries nearby to expand my perspective, to take up challenges and adventures independently. I strongly believe that the program you provide is the best preparation for a career in the business world. I am ready to be one of your students, and to develop my professional aptitude under your guidance.
Your admission is crucial for my launch to a career in fashion and luxury fields. I sincerely hope that you may approve my application.