Why is the Texas MS Business Analytics the next logical step for you?
How do you hope to develop, both personally and professionally, during this one-year program?
I am applying to MS program in Business Analytics at the University of Texas, Austin in pursuit of a career as an Analytics Consultant. Having worked for 40 months in diversified industries, I have realised the importance of data-driven decision making, be it in private equity investment, and product pricing and bundling. Though my academic and professional background taught me new concepts and business acumen, I lack the quantitative and technical depth essential for the career path in analytics. After careful deliberation, I found the MSBA program at UT-Austin to be the perfect fit for my career goals. This 10-months course is ideal for blending my past knowledge of business and mathematics with advanced models and computational expertise. Interactions with several alumni such as Akhilesh Narapareddy and Atintra Bandi (Class of 2019), also substantiated my decision of choosing the program.
Through world-renowned faculty such as Dr. Tejwansh Anand and Dr. Deepayan Chakrabarti, who bring immense academic and industrial experience, I will acquire knowledge to solve the complex and creative challenges faced by today's organisations in decision making. Through guest lectures, networking events with the industry representatives, and on-site visits to companies, I will gain valuable exposure with potential employers and broaden my professional network. My diverse engineering and management background will enable me to contribute towards a mutually beneficial co-learning experience. I believe that UT-Austin will further enhance my career in the field of Analytics and I hope to learn and grow with classmates from all over the world.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The response focuses on name dropping notable graduates and faculty of the university for some reason. Merely name dropping these people will not help your application. Most universities frown in students who try to use undue influence in their admissions process. So not mentioning popular names would be helpful to your application as opposed to mentioning these people, who will most likely not be giving you a recommendation anyway.
You have to revise the content of your presentation. You should still use 2 paragraphs for the response but, present different information within each paragraph. Speak of two specific things. Your personal goals for studying the course in relation to a future career promotion or something else (one paragraph) and, your academic goals in relation to your professional advancement (one paragraph). Relate each paragraph to something specific from the program. This can be an internship or other skills enhancement activity (academic goals), or network development (personal goals in relation to career advancement).
The reviewer wants to know that you are truly familiar with the academic and social offerings of the program. He needs to see how you came to the decision that the university program is best suited to your needs. You have to prove that through the justifications you provide in this essay presentation.
