This is an essay for b-school. Any advice you guys may have would be much appreciated
4. Discuss a time when you navigated a challenging experience in either a personal or professional relationship. (600 words)
About a year into my tenure with Company X, I was tasked with working with Eric, our head of marketing, to analyze and improve how we spent our North American marketing budget. After working with Eric for several months analyzing various metrics and working with our vendors, it was time to bring our CEO up to speed about what we have done and what we plan to do. So, Eric and I started working on our presentation.
I was working on the 'what we have done' part, which was the more analytical and quantitative section, and Eric was working on the 'what we will do' section. When we merged our two sections and walked through the entire presentation together, I became uneasy as I read through Eric's section. See, Eric was an idea guy, not execution. Based on our experiences together, I couldn't convince myself that he would actually execute on what he was promising our CEO. I knew that I could help him for a while, but I eventually would move on to another project before everything could be completed.
I now had a decision to make. One option was to not say anything and keep this senior executive happy, but effectively lie to the CEO, something I didn't feel comfortable doing. The other option was to talk to Eric about it and risk upsetting him. Both options had their risks. Option one could make the CEO angry and potentially hurt my career at Company X. Option two could upset Eric, who could very easily give me a bad review, which would have a more immediate impact on my career. It was a tough decision, but I knew that I wouldn't feel right unless I spoke my mind. Now I had to figure out how approach him and deliver my message.
I had prepared myself to bring it up the next time Eric and I met, but the opportunity fell into my lap. A few nights before the meeting, Eric called and asked me to present the entire presentation, both my analytical section and his ... aspirational goals. I politely declined, and, when he asked why, I told him exactly what I thought - I honestly didn't think that he was going to execute.
I could see a bit of shock in his eyes. I immediately thought, "How do I smooth this over? Do I add clarification or examples? Do I take it back and apologize?" All I could do was sit there and wait for a response. Those few seconds felt like hours.
All he said in return was, "Ok. I understand." Wow, that was definitely not what I was expecting. I was prepared for him to be angry or defensive, not calm and understanding.
Eric and I agreed that I would still present the analytical, 'what have we done' section and field whatever questions anyone may have, just as we had always planned. However, I did not participate in the 'what we will do' section. I also agreed to help Eric in whatever initiatives he decides to implement.
Through the following years, I worked with Eric several more times on marketing initiatives without any more conflict. I believe that our earlier experience together helped us develop a great working relationship by establishing expectations.
I am proud of myself for taking the risk and standing up to Eric. I believe that it gave me the confidence to stand up to other co-workers and superiors, when necessary, and help drive many impactful projects at Company X.
...it was time to bring our CEO up to speed about what we had done and what we planned to do.
See, Eric was an idea guy, not so great at execution.
Based on our experiences together, I couldn't convince myself that he would actually execute on what he was promising our CEO.
I could see a bit of shock in his eyes.---You said, 'Eric called'... so you should say you could sense his shock, as you wouldn't be able to see it over the phone!
I also agreed to help Eric in whatever initiatives he decided to implement.
...co-workers and superiors, when necessary, and help drive many impactful projects at Company X.---I'm not sure 'impactful' is a word, you might want to check on that. But your essay is interesting and well written, also, nice answer to the prompt.
:)
As a proud Wharton Alum myself, I can honestly say that if I were an admissions officer, I would put this essay and your application in the not sure pile. Wharton is ALL about teamwork. During the 2 years, there may be only 1 or 2 projects where you will be asked to work alone. You must convey that you can actually work through issues, rather than telling someone "no, I will not do that and doubting their ability." We can Help you create an essay that will better highlight your strengths when it comes to teamwork. admissions essay advice
Hope this helps
Thanks a lot, you two. I appreciate the input. I'll take another pass at this essay, clean up the grammar a bit and re-focus on how I worked with Eric to develop an execution plan.
Thanks again!
You use eric's name WAY to much, it sounds repetitive, you should change it up, use some pronouns here and there
