Hi everyone,
Came across this forum and after browsing through it for a while, thought it would be useful to consider any additional comments. Hope I can improve on my essay as I really do want to enroll at Penn.
Here's the question: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words)
And my draft:
Anemones and clownfish. Egyptian plovers and Nile crocodiles. The pairs enjoy mutualistic symbiotic relationships. I hope to place the University of Pennsylvania and myself under the same category.
What struck me immediately, and deeply, was the university's emphasis on interaction with the wider community, locally and globally. For someone who firmly believes in receiving through giving, activities such as the Guatemala Health Initiative provide ideal platforms to enhance the scope and scale of my contribution to society. The Academically Based Community Service programme presents an excellent avenue to assist the Philadelphia community, in addition to enriching my native experiences. In organizing visits to Old Folks' Homes during National Service in the military, I wanted to create opportunities for my subordinates to appreciate the understated gratification of helping the needy. I believe my inclination to take initiative in formulating such civic-minded projects would prove useful in implementing novel ideas for community service.
I yearn to belong within a salad bowl. My wish coincides with two distinctive traits of Penn: diversity and a strong community culture. The ability to converse fluently in a third language (Malay) conveys my inherent love for other customs. Through peers from 106 countries, I hope to gain intriguing insights into unique heritages. Multifarious student groups will mould me into a more wholesome personality: soccer feeds my sporting passion, while the Social Planning and Events Committee allows me to sharpen my management skills. In addition, SPEC serves to highlight one of my characteristics: taking pleasure in bringing people together. In merging the post-promenade parties for three colleges during high school, I reaped economies of scale and reinforced my passion for entrepreneurship; more crucially, however, I derived meaning from witnessing the union and camaraderie among strangers. I aspire to channel my enthusiasm for promoting social cohesion through SPEC, thus playing a part in sustaining Penn's closely-knitted community.
Steve Jobs' famous pursuits in calligraphy inspire me. I seek excitement and vibrancy in my education, and Wharton offers the flexible curriculum required to pursue an unconventional route and discover my niche. Creating individualised concentrations and taking classes from twelve schools enable me to carve a path away from conformity.
Personally, the main draw to Wharton is Management 100. I particularly like how it encourages rapport building within groups while providing a platform to transfer classroom knowledge into practical results. I wish to value-add to Wharton through my desire to be a Team Adviser. This is similar to my facilitator role when I co-organized a leadership camp for college juniors, after previously being a participant. I felt a great sense of fulfilment through influencing others positively via my unique experiences and perspectives.
Management 100 possesses the ingredients to augment my experiences and knowledge accumulated as an intern with SPRING Singapore, the national standards and accreditation body which develops entrepreneurship and SMEs. My stint in SPRING enables me to provide a distinct Asian business context, a nice complement to the diverse flavour of Wharton.
Rather than being unilateral, effective education flows both ways. It would count as a massive achievement for me to attain the chance to harness reciprocal synergy with and in Penn.
Once again, I do appreciate any comments or suggestions. Hope everyone's application is going along well too! (:
It's really a great essay~
There is my suggestion, although it's almost perfect, maybe could make it more, something like,active? I feel a little board when I finished reading all serious words and sentenses. For example, you say you like soccer, then show them your passion, not just tell.
Just my suggestion.
-----------------Maybe help with my thread? THX~
