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Why I Choose Georgia Tech to study chemical Engineering essay


myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Dec 19, 2014   #1
I found this website very helpful to edit application essay, so I hope someone will help with editing my essay. Thank you in advance.

Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech in your selected program of study? What do you hope to contribute to our community?
Please limit your essay to 1000 characters, which includes spaces and punctuation.


Unlike most of my friends who have a high interest in pursuing business or biomed program, I have always been inspired to become an engineer, whose sole purpose at the present is to work with hard, mind-altering and challenging science problems. With that said, with Georgia Tech, my passion for science has finally found its place to bloom. Known for your impressive reputation in providing the best facilities for research, I am completely blown away and absolutely intrigued in participating in one of the world's greatest institution.

[...]

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Dec 19, 2014   #2
Ngoc, do you have a specific essay prompt to answer for this essay it will help me review your essay if I know what it is. Actually, this is extremely short for a statement of intent for college admission. You need to expand it to at least 3 paragraphs long. Consider answering the following questions in your essay:

1. What is it about Georgia Tech that attracted you to the school? How does this support your academic goals and ideas?
2. What are the classes of particular interest to you in terms of your major?
3. Do you have any specific research projects or thesis that you wish to undertake while studying there?
4. What particular laboratories, student research facilities, etc. will help you complete or develop your research?

By answering these questions, you will be able to properly express the reasons as to why you chose to study NYU. Showing how you plan to fully utilize their student offerings for the benefit of your degree.
OP myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Dec 19, 2014   #3
HI vangiespen, I am trying to transfer to Georgia Tech and here it is its prompt.
Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech in your selected program of study? What do you hope to contribute to our community?
(1000/1000 available.)
Please limit your essay to 1000 characters, which includes spaces and punctuation.
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Dec 19, 2014   #4
Unlike most of my friends who have a high interest [...] has finally found its place to bloom .

- When writing a character sensitive essay, try to omit flowery words and introductions. State your case immediately and utilize every character towards the expression of your response. There is no need to introductions in these types of statements.

I amstrived even more by Professor Yulin Deng's research

I am driven even more...

Going for Chemical Engineering major

-As a chemical ...

Please note the sentences for correction above. I also freed up word characters for you to use in further building your statement to its strongest potential. I advice you to use it wisely.
OP myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Dec 21, 2014   #5
Thanks for your reply, I will rewrite my essay and re-post a new one as soon as possible. I hope that you would be able to give me advice again next time.
Sakifarhan 2 / 2  
Dec 21, 2014   #6
Hi. Given the fact that this essay is very limited in terms of how many words you can write, I think you should focus on being more clear and concise. An example where you can do that is the first line of your essay.

Also rewrite this bit: "Known for your impressive reputation in providing the best facilities for research, I am completely blown away and absolutely intrigued in participating in one of the world's greatest institution". You should change it to something like "Its impressive reputation in providing the best facilities for research has blown me away and has intrigued me into wanting to attend one of the world's most prestigious institutions."

Hope this helps.
OP myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Dec 21, 2014   #7
Hi Sakifarhan,
Thank you for your reply. I am sorry I have not read your reply before rewrite my essay. I will read the links you send me immediately; meanwhile, I hope you would take a look at my new essay. In this essay, it is completely distinct from the last one because when I am doing more researches make my essay stronger, I found it it interesting to bring up the ranking in women in engineering of this university. As a woman study chemical engineering, I experienced quite a little discrimination from my male classmates so the ranking attracts me.

I hope you can give me some advice on this essay. Besides this essay is my first draft, so it is not as overflowery as the last one, just as what you two advised me to do. However, I do not know how to end the essay. Usually I end essay just because I have to so it is fast and curtly. Hope you will help

Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech in your selected program of study? What do you hope to contribute to our community?
Please limit your essay to 1000 characters, which includes spaces and punctuation.

Surfing through websites and ads, Georgia Tech attracts me for its ranking first in women in engineering. Like many women applying for engineering major, I want to have a fair ground to study and develop to be a chemical engineering.

[...]
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Dec 21, 2014   #8
This is a very good start for a revision. I would omit the internet based search for a university though. It is not really necessary nor does it help move the essay forward. Save the character count for more important thoughts that require it. Build up the fact that you are a woman trying to make it in a man's world and then elaborate on the school program that you feel will best help you achieve that goal. That would make the essay respond to the prompt directly and with more substance.
OP myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Jan 20, 2015   #9
Hi,
I am sorry that I have not replied until this late. May anyone help me with this essay again?
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 20, 2015   #10
There is marked improvement in this version. However, you have not discussed how you plant to contribute to the Georgia Tech community in terms of social and academic participation. It would be in the best interest of your essay to offer an insight into these aspects, specially the social one since that is the part of the essay prompt that is not represented at all. Discuss how you feel that Georgia Tech will give you a fair shot at becoming a future Chemical Engineer instead of merely mentioning it alongside a comparison with other universities. A comparison statement is not required in this essay so it can be omitted in this statement response. Explain some plans for your studies that you feel will help enliven the academic community of the school and mention your specific extra curricular activities that you feel you can participate in which will raise the profile of the university in the public eye as well. Those are some methods by which you can further improve the response you have developed for the prompt :-)
OP myngoc311 5 / 18 5  
Jan 26, 2015   #11
Hi vangiespen,
Thank your for always being there to help me with this essay. You asked me to provide an insight of how Georgia Tech is beneficial to my major. I bring up the comparison because only up to now, only Georgia Tech has its promise to give women equal opportunities to succeed in engineering, which is what I really hope for. I want a fair ground for me to develop as a chemical engineer because I did experience discrimination in my community college while doing lab in physics. That's why, nothing else can attract me more than compromises in women's succeed. What do you think about my reason? :), if it is not strong enough, I am willing to change the topic of my essay. Here is my new version of this essay:

Georgia Tech attracts me for its programs called Women in Engineering, which are designed to support and encourage female engineering students. Like many women applying for this major, I am looking forward to competing with men on the same ground to show them women;s potential in engineering. Many schools gain impressive reputation in providing the best facilities for research, but Georgia Tech is also prominent for its promise to foster an inspiring environment for women to strive for recognition of the world as professional engineers. Therefore, I have long cherished for a chance to attend this prestigious institution, and prove the world that women are a vital aspect of engineering. I may start by only reviewing lecture and carrying labs carefully, but my curiosity and strenuous persistence will surely lead me to discovering a new useful chemical reaction and put it into practice. With the support form WIE program, I am confident that I can gain recognition in this male-dominated field.

[...]
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 26, 2015   #12
I revised your essay a bit to make it more prompt adherent . Here is what I came up with:

Coming from a country where female empowerment is not widely promoted and recognized, I became immediately interested in the Women in Engineering program of Georgia Tech. Becoming a female engineer in my home country is a dream of mine and I believe that Georgia Tech will be able to help me achieve that dream by empowering me for a future that places me on the same level as my male engineer counterparts. By allowing me an opportunity to develop my potential as a female engineer, I will be able to return to my homeland and prove to the women that we too have the potential to succeed in the field. I hope that the support of the WIE program will allow me the opportunity to leave my mark in this male dominated field in the near future.

The essay works better now but it still lacks a response to the prompt part asking you what it is you can contribute to the Georgia Tech community either as a academic student or a member of the student community.


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