My interest in the medical field started very early in my life. Thanks to my mother's firm grasp on her video camera, there is documentation of this. One recording in particular took place at a family holiday party when I was four years of age. I had just received a children's medical play set that came complete with a blood pressure cuff, stethoscope and thermometer. I was so captivated by my new present that I spent the entire day taking the blood pressure of my loved ones. In those beautiful moments so carefully captured, a smile never left my face. As precious as this may seem, the real moment captured by this film is the living memory of my grandmother Esther. Little did I know that as I was feebly adjusting the cuff around her sun-weathered arm, this would be the last Christmas my family would celebrate with my grandma.
As a child, I joined my family on our annual pilgrimage to the Jersey Shore. We would usually leave the weekend after school let out. This trip served as a magical escape from the concrete heat in the city. My grandmother lived with us for the entire summer and she absolutely loved the beach. It could have been overcast with a 70% chance of rain, but she was always the first one in her bathing suit. "Every day is a beach day." grandma Esther would say. She helped my mom pack our lunches and get the beach bag ready. The highlight of her day was the moment that we arrived at the top of the beach and we were greeted with the lifeguard jeep that would transport her from the sandy dunes straight to the water's edge. Sadly, she would not be able to take part in this cherished experience this summer.
My grandmother had been ill for the majority of the spring following that Christmas and before we could reach the shore that summer, my mother stopped to retrieve her from the hospital. At five years old, I was so excited to see my grandma and even more ecstatic about the fact that she was traveling with us for the long car ride. My grandmother was smart as a whip and always had the best riddles. She was so intelligent in fact, that she graduated high school early at the age of fourteen. We entered the crisp white room she was staying in and she drew my mom near to her, grasped her hand in hers and asked for one favor before she was released. She wanted to make sure that we planned to stop by a road side husker to buy fresh peaches. Oh how she loved those peaches. My mom laughed and assured her that we would pull over on our way down the shore. After that, the atmosphere in that small hospital room became filled with urgency. My grandmother was suffering a stroke. My mother states that she witnessed my grandmother's eyes roll into the back of her head as the machine on the wall began to surge with alarm. My mother frantically ran out into the hall and screamed at the top of her lungs for help. It was too late. My grandmother had suffered a fatal stroke and in that single moment, our lives were changed forever. The memory of my grandmother lives on in my family today. Her compassion for nature's beauty has become a way of life to us all. Her memory has guided me to become the successful student I am today. Most importantly, her kind and simple way of life has shown me how to be a caring, passionate person. I would like to become a Physician Assistant because caring for others is my true calling in life.
As an undergraduate, I was given the opportunity to take part in an external field experience to shadow a PA-C. I chose a six week, intensive study program that spanned over my Christmas break. I shadowed a PA-C that specialized in dermatology with a special interest in psychodermatology. I chose dermatology because of my family's strong history with dermatologic health issues, including stage III Melanoma on my mother's side. I am sure that the summers we spent at the beach had absolutely nothing to do with such ailments. During this experience, I assisted in the care and treatment of patients and became familiar with procedures and protocol of the practice. I loved every minute I spent with my supervising PA. I was eager to help her diagnose each new patient. I admired her pleasant bed-side manner and was awe stricken by her ability to relate to her patients. Among many other great qualities, this PA possessed true empathy for each person that walked through her door. She carefully listened as the patient discussed his or her particular issue and readily provided a well thought response. Often times she would conclude each appointment with a brief medical explanation for that patient's ailment. I feel that this part is so critical to patient care because it develops an understanding on the behalf of the patient and sets forth the expectation for success.
I would like to embody the qualities that were exhibited by my grandmother and the PA I shadowed by pursuing a career as a Physician Assistant.
Please critique the essay above! Thanks in advance
In the discussion second and third paragraph ,you write about the times you spent with your grandmother in your essay,to remind you of a certain time you felt compassion for her illness. Her memory has guided me to become the successful student I am today. Most importantly, her kind and simple way of life has shown me how to be a caring, passionate person. I would like to become a Physician Assistant because caring for others is my true calling in life.In this statement you should have shortened the story about your time with your grandmother
and write about other experiences with the purpose of becoming a physician, as to how else then you cared for others instead of writing of the same thing about the time you spend with your grandmother,or how else during her life you found that your time with her could have saved her life ,if you were aware of the things in your experience that you now have in advancement of time.This is what i found to help about your essay
