I major in Geography Information System but want to change to a computer science graduate program. Due to the lack of instruction, I find myself confused about the content of this statement. I think the statement is quite too long at present (1100 words) but I don't know which part I should delete. Could you give me some suggestions about my statement of purpose?
All your feedback would be greatly appreciated!! Many thanks in advance!
Frankly speaking, although I showed my interests in computer science early in my childhood, it was only during the years of undergraduate study that I made up my mind to pursue a career in computer science.
I was born in an educated family with strong interests toward science. During my childhood, my parents always cultivated my curiosity to nature and human society as both of them are teachers in the area of mathematics and science. They sought to introduce me to natural science and mathematics in their truest forms: by leading me to experience the wonder of the world and explaining those complicated theories through palpable and practical examples. They kept encouraging me to search for answers to my puzzles through experiments and I slowly found my interest in techniques that could solve daily problems in an explicit and effective way like computer science. As an applied discipline, computer science could tackle problems in other areas. Many new frontier subjects are developing on the basis of computer science, such as GIS (Geography Information System) and Bioinformatics. I have been dreaming that through further study, I could contribute to the application of this subject.
All my academic records up to date are characterized with prominence. In 2012, I was admitted to the School of Geography and Planning in my undergraduate university. Among all the geographic programs provided, GIS is the one most closest to computer science, concentrating on geographical problem-solving by means of computer technology. Consequently, one year later, I chose GIS as my major. I studied assiduously and achieved 89.6/100 for my academic GPA, ranking 4th among all of my classmates. The university concentrates on the integrated development. Consequently, aside from maintaining the highest of academic standards, I also participated in many kinds of activities. The experience as a radio host strengthened my ability of communication. Furthermore, I took up volunteer work in International Center, which significantly improved my patience, initiative and effectiveness. Moreover, thanks to the training in creativity I got from my university, I am the holder of two patents. My curiosity towards daily life impels me to convert my ideas into practical gizmos.
Thanks to courses and training I have taken, I have been qualified for the computer science program. Courses like Object Oriented Programmer, Database and its applications and Data Structures have laid a good foundation of computer science knowledge for me. Fundamental courses in mathematics also guaranteed my mastery of theories in calculus, linear algebra or probability. Through specialized courses, I have a good command of geography related software like ArcGIS, ENVI and AutoCAD. In one coursework about software redevelopment, I accomplished the function of image inpainting in ArcGIS. This experience of extended development facilitated my excellent performance in GIS customization. As a discipline deeply related to vector and raster images, GIS gradually fostered my interest in computer graphics. As the supplementary of my computer science study, I have read some books which helped me build a full-round understanding about computer. By reading the book Computer Systems: A Programmer's Perspective (by Randal E. Bryant & David R. O'Hallaron), I plunged deep into some generalizations of theorems about computer system and composition. Books like Pattern Recognition and Machine Learning (by Christopher M. Bishop) and Fundamental of Computer Graphics (By Peter Shirley) did not just enhance my knowledge about computer science, but prompted me to apply these theories into GIS issues and other practical uses.
Feeling that current knowledge insufficient for my future study in computer science, I have chosen Information and Computing Science as my minor in my junior year and have acquired an average GPA of 85/100. Computation technology is the basis of computer science, thus the mathematical background is quite essential for this subject. I have acquired a stronger foundation in mathematical theories and programming language through Discrete Mathematics and An Introduction to Algorithm. I have also taken the specific training in computer architecture, networking and information security.
Computer science is a scientific and practical approach to computation and its application. Hence, I attached great importance to solving daily problems with computer technology. It can be exemplified by a software engineering project. Some people easily lost themselves when in the shopping mall but ordinary GPS navigation software performs badly when working indoors. Therefore, my group compiled a sort of indoor positioning android software of Grandview Mall, the biggest mall in Guangdong Province. We went to the mall several times to record the distribution pattern of WiFi routers, match the position with MAC address and map the mall accurately. After taking some self-study on geometry and android development, I accomplished the trilateration positioning function and the shortest path navigation function. I was also in charge of geographic data visualization and the structure of the software. Our software impressed judges and was quite popular among our users.
Partly because of my sincere interest and solid background in computer graphic and algorithm, in the fall of 2014, I was given the privilege to be enrolled as a research assistant in the Center of Integrated Geographic Information Analysis. I conducted several experiments focusing on information extraction from images and 3D geographic models. I wrote Python scripts to deal with spatial data in ArcGIS through a batch process and formulated processing plans of classification in eCognition. I had a deeper and comprehensive understanding about point-cloud filters like Mathematical Morphology and image classifiers like Random Decision Forest. To further hone my skills in computer science, I participated in an internship in the Anntuu Information Technology Co. Ltd. As a computer programmer of an online game company, my duties lie in image processing and visualization. Apart from these tasks, I was responsible for the production of some mini-games posted on the webpage. Additionally, another internship at 267 Academy of Engineering Investigation as a GIS developer allowed me to develop a holistic view of the application of computer science in geography. From these experiences, I realize how powerful computer science could be and I am willing to pursue a career in its application to deal with real world problems.
The computer science master program in yout university is among the world's best computer science graduate programs that can help me achieve my dream. I really appreciate courses setting in this program which could give me a comprehensive and systematic study in computer science. I believe that my solid knowledge of computer science and mathematics, interdisciplinary background as well as my research and work experiences will help me succeed in the academic life. With my deep-rooted interest in computer science and recognition of the quality of your university programs, I hope you will give my application every consideration.
Welkin, it would be in the best interest of your statement of purpose if you can cut down the content to just the specific and related content.You majored in Geography Information Systems, and now you want to change your career path towards Computer Science. Now, to me, that sounds like a logical next step coming from where you are at the moment. In terms of career progression, moving from one field to another, related field is logical, it just makes sense.
The main problem that I have, with the eye of a reviewer, is that your essay is way too long and dabbles too much in unrelated content. Rather than going all the way back to your childhood history, why don't you just present your most recent past relating to your experience in Geography Information Systems. Discuss what you learned during your time in that field and then segue into the obvious relationship between that and computer science.
Discuss your Geography mapping skills and then cut out all the other parts of the essay so that you can concentrate the focus of the essay on your work as a research intern at the Center of Integrated Geographic Information Analysis.From what I have read of your essay, that is the perfect professional experience that will not only show your abilities with computers, but also present the logical next step in your career in an enlightening manner for the reviewer.
Throughout the essay, I tried to look for a reference to your future career plans and goals and how this masters degree study will help you achieve it. That is one of the most important pieces of information in a statement of purpose so you should work on developing your response to that. Make sure that it mentions a line of research you will wish to start working on as a masters degree student. Present the aim of the study in terms of real world application in order to show the importance of your masters studies, the abilities you will develop as a student, and your future profession.
Those are the parts of your essay that I believe needs extra work in terms of development and presentation. I hope that I can read your revised essay soon so that I can help you edit it to perfection :-)
Welkin, this SOP is just way too long.
I believe you will be able to shorten or eliminate a few paragraphs in order to focus the SOP to what it's suppose to be and make sure that you never miss the important information needed to boost your application.
Most of the time, what happens with this kind of essay is that, it's too long it's loosing it's sense and it gives out unnecessary information that may ruin your chance for a spot in the university you are rooting for and this is not going to help at all.
I say you revise your essay and eliminate the unnecessary paragraphs and keep a focus on your academic background and goals.
Add a few statements on your personal background and what you can do as a future member of the institution, for greater welfare.
I hope to see your revised essay posted here on EF so we can assist you further.
