I need some pointers and suggestions/editing for my commonapp essay. I have it due by Nov 15. Thanks!
I sit in an Doctors office with my Father, facing a very serious but short man sitting at a desk in front of me. The doctor wasted no time. "You have Crohns disease" he started. "an Inflammatory Disorder affecting over 1 Million people Worldwide." he paused for a few seconds, letting it sink in while pulling out some informational documents and pamphlets, passing them over the desk. "There is no known cure, though a variety of treatment options do exist..." His words were quickly droned out by my own thought. At first, I did not want to believe it, but I knew it was true. It explained everything. From a steady increase in stomach pain, progressing to shivering and anemia escalating into absolutely cloudy thinking. That's what was happening for the past few months, and I felt like a lost four-year-old searching for answers.
For many more more weeks I was left without answers, the feeling of being lost permeated throughout my life. Anemia became the storm through which I was forced to navigate through. The storm left nothing unaffected. My hobbies all but forgotten, I trudged through school, cloistered myself in my room, while friends became an afterthought. I needed an anchor, though I did not realize it yet, that would be paramount to reflection and renewed self-discovery.
That's when I truly discovered the crazy and quirky things that were computers and the internet. Sure, I dabbled with it before. Created a few sleazy websites, talked in some online chats and played copious amounts of video games, but that barely scratched the surface.
I was able to research my condition to the degree that I was comfortable. On my way I discovered entire communities of people with problems exactly like mine, and was able to communicate and converse without fear of scrutiny. I found ways people have utilized to overcome their own problems. It allowed me to observe, and learn. On my way I discovered new communities, and with that new interests.
It was not long before I fully realized a new interest: programming. I typed something into a prompt, and it simply happened. It was simple. I thought of an idea, and made it happen. If something went wrong, it was my fault. The computer did exactly what I told it to do. I was able to create anything and everything I thought of, conjuring it from within the mysterious universe of computers. The further I delved into it, the more their was to discover. New problems introduced themselves, each with their own solutions, everything under my control.
I had found my anchor, and was finally able to reflect. I became very involved in programming and technology, even starting my own website-My website-to share my findings and new involvements with communities I was apart of.
I found comfort in the familiarity of my keyboard. Despite the impeding nature of my condition, I refused to let it get hold of me. I continued to create and share. I knew of nothing else but to find comfort and solstice in the multi-colored lines of words on my computer screen which would proceed into fruition and totality of my own creation. I realized that nothing could hold me back, and the only thing to do is to continue.
I sit in an Doctors office with my Father, facing a very serious but short man sitting at a desk in front of me. The doctor wasted no time. "You have Crohns disease" he started. "an Inflammatory Disorder affecting over 1 Million people Worldwide." he paused for a few seconds, letting it sink in while pulling out some informational documents and pamphlets, passing them over the desk. "There is no known cure, though a variety of treatment options do exist..." His words were quickly droned out by my own thought. At first, I did not want to believe it, but I knew it was true. It explained everything. From a steady increase in stomach pain, progressing to shivering and anemia escalating into absolutely cloudy thinking. That's what was happening for the past few months, and I felt like a lost four-year-old searching for answers.
For many more more weeks I was left without answers, the feeling of being lost permeated throughout my life. Anemia became the storm through which I was forced to navigate through. The storm left nothing unaffected. My hobbies all but forgotten, I trudged through school, cloistered myself in my room, while friends became an afterthought. I needed an anchor, though I did not realize it yet, that would be paramount to reflection and renewed self-discovery.
That's when I truly discovered the crazy and quirky things that were computers and the internet. Sure, I dabbled with it before. Created a few sleazy websites, talked in some online chats and played copious amounts of video games, but that barely scratched the surface.
I was able to research my condition to the degree that I was comfortable. On my way I discovered entire communities of people with problems exactly like mine, and was able to communicate and converse without fear of scrutiny. I found ways people have utilized to overcome their own problems. It allowed me to observe, and learn. On my way I discovered new communities, and with that new interests.
It was not long before I fully realized a new interest: programming. I typed something into a prompt, and it simply happened. It was simple. I thought of an idea, and made it happen. If something went wrong, it was my fault. The computer did exactly what I told it to do. I was able to create anything and everything I thought of, conjuring it from within the mysterious universe of computers. The further I delved into it, the more their was to discover. New problems introduced themselves, each with their own solutions, everything under my control.
I had found my anchor, and was finally able to reflect. I became very involved in programming and technology, even starting my own website-My website-to share my findings and new involvements with communities I was apart of.
I found comfort in the familiarity of my keyboard. Despite the impeding nature of my condition, I refused to let it get hold of me. I continued to create and share. I knew of nothing else but to find comfort and solstice in the multi-colored lines of words on my computer screen which would proceed into fruition and totality of my own creation. I realized that nothing could hold me back, and the only thing to do is to continue.