Data Science is a promising profession - University of Michigan SOP

Can anyone provide some suggestion for my sop? Thanks a lot

Statement of Purpose - Data Science

We have become so used to the existence of cell phones, credit cards and surveillance that we won't perceive our personal data is being collected and we are being watched every hour of every day. What contained within these data is birth data, daily routine, latest crush and hidden secrets. It is through intensive study of all information that data scientists come to know our entire life story. The digital age is here and I am ready to embrace the numerous possibilities it presents.

During my undergraduate study as a statistics major student, professors emphasize theoretical knowledge, along with massive proofs and computation in assignments and examinations. In addition, I have been introduced to practical concepts, methods and tools in database management systems, machine learning, data mining. Course assessments composed of group projects and presentations have endowed me with good analysis and cooperation. Relevant knowledge and skills have definitely given me an edge, however, as one of my professors said, even a simple p-value could be interpreted in different ways. Moving beyond distributions, hypothesis testing, interval estimation and regressions, I want to understand data representation and analysis at an advanced level.

To explore big data in real business, I took an internship in a logistics company as a data analyst. The whole team processed delivery data of a pilot city and implemented a data-driven approach to a revolutionary change in the business model of nationwide delivery services. The internship has sharpened my Extract-Transform-Load skills for data processing in real life business. Additionally, I was equipped with the knowledge of privacy concerns and latest methods to protect user privacy while processing data. My professional experience brought to light that in a real business, what matters is not only building machine learning techniques, but also telling the story behind data to augment decision-making. Inspired by the actionable insights developed from vast volumes of data, I solidified my interest in this promising field, yet also realized there's still a lot of room for improvement before I delve into the profession.

In the near future, fueled by my passion for travel, I see myself as a data scientist at a travel website company with numerous registered users, deep diving into user behavior data with my analytics expertise, providing my registered users with abundant valuable information about traveling and recommending personalized travel routes based on integrated and analyzed data. By analyzing user browsing history, I could investigate customer preferences and purchasing power as well as how consumer tastes evolve over time. Eventually, I could build a user profile so as to provide customized and personalized services. Going through the curriculum, many courses will endow me with concepts, methods and tools of personalization technologies and recommender systems. What's more, the capstone project serves as a great transition from academic coursework to real business. Exposure to real business scenarios would help me to develop customer insights and have a grasp of customer retention strategies. Moving forward, my communication and problem-solving capabilities would be improved, hence preparing me for my professional goals.

The department of statistics at Michigan has a great reputation for years and has a lot of connection with my home university, like 3+2 program as well as workshop on statistics and data science. All faculty are not only experts in their research area, but also passionate and energetic about what they do and they will transfer this passion to students. Data Science is a promising profession in coping with this ever-changing world. I am confident University of Michigan offers the best platform and training to reach my goals.

Yilin, how far into the future are your travel agency plans? Give it a time-frame. Remember that the MS studies are applicable only up to a 5 year career plan at the most. Your purpose cannot be just based on a professional need, such as your future plans. You also need to present an academic need for your studies. Your reasoning when it comes to the academic aspect feels shallow. It isn't really convincing. You need to work in your academic plans with your professional goals to create a more connected statement of purpose.

Your academic accomplishments could describe any other applicant for this program. You have to increase the attention in relation to your academic profile by discussing your accomplishments in this field. At the moment, you sound like an ordinary student who does not have any stand out accomplishments, academic plans, or research / related activities which will prove that you are a capable, academically focused student who will be an asset to the program. Try to think of some achievements that you can present which will help the essay become memorable to the reviewer.

Your choice of university discussion is too generic. You could be describing any common university with that statement. Since this is a "sister" university of your alma mater, work on that aspect of continuing studies. Describe the potential of the university to help you achieve both academic and professional goals by discussing specific information relevant to your course choice. You have to show a familiarity with the university and its course presentations because at the moment, that aspect is almost irrelevant in presentation.

Try to strengthen your references in the essay to help it become stronger and stand out. If you focus on reworking the essay based on specific needs and presentations, then you have the chance to improve the presentation to the point of notability.