Desire for helping people; Nursing School Personal Statment

* the directions for this essay were to explain why you want to be a nurse and why you think you would make a good nurse.

I am currently an undergraduate student at ODU completing my pre nursing requirements. I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest with my five younger siblings. Since I was a child I have always had this burning desire in my heart to help people. I still remember the exact moment that I decided that I wanted to be a nurse. It was the summer of my 12th birthday. My dad and I were working on a farm putting metal roofing on the barn. My dad ended up cutting his knee open while stepping over the corner piece of the roof. He instantly began to lose a lot of blood due to his blood thinning medication. Realizing he was unable to stop the bleeding on his own, we drove to the hospital. While at the hospital the doctors allowed me to put the stitches in his knee. Being so young at the time this felt like a huge deal, and I felt empowered. Seeing his knee heal made me feel like I could make a difference and that I could help people. From that moment on I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a nurse.

The thing you must know about my family is that we were never rich. In fact my parents fell right between poor and middle class. They made literally ten dollars too much to be eligible for any kind of assistance and barely enough to stay afloat. Seeing my family struggle and being the oldest child I felt a sense of responsibility to provide support for my family. I began working odd jobs at the age of 13 to help pay bills and provide groceries. Knowing that my family would never be able to provide a higher education for me I enlisted into the military. I joined the US Navy at the age of 17 in order to fulfill my dreams of becoming a nurse. Although I scored well enough on the ASVAB to choose any career I wanted, the corpsman field was full. I decided to enlist anyways under the title of Information Systems Technician.

During my time in the military I acquired many skills that will help me be a great nurse. For instance, while serving in the military I obtained a Top Secret Clearance and at the age of 19 I was chosen by my superiors to be the Network Security Officer. At the time not only was I the youngest member in the shop, but I was responsible for over 250 personnel twice my age. In gaining my clearance I gained the understanding of confidentiality and "need to know". I believe that my ability to protect the government's Top Secret information shows my understanding of the importance of patient confidentiality. The technical knowledge I gained as an IT will give me an advantage in the nursing field when working with the different types of technology. While in the military I learned the importance of paying attention to detail even when undertaking the most minuscule task. I recognize that in the medical field this concept is just as important.

When it comes to work, I am extremely disciplined and flexible. The shifts that I worked in the Navy were 14 hours long and constantly rotating. That being said I am fully prepared, mentally and physically, for the demanding schedule of a nursing career. Along with my military experience I have also been certified as a Personal Care Aide. As a Personal Care Aide I have experienced what it is like to work in an Assisted Living Facility with Alzheimer and Dementia patients. From that brief experience I learned the importance of being a true patient's advocate. More specifically being emotionally stable and at the same time empathetic toward the patients. As a waitress at Ruth's Chris for almost two years I have expanded my interpersonal and communication skills by becoming more comfortable with talking to people I just met. My ability to easily communicate and relate with people are skills that will be easily transferred into the nursing field.

I chose ECPI because I feel that your program is conducive to my learning style. The staff is not only helpful but extremely knowledgeable as well and perspective students aren't just treated like another number. ECPI is focused on the enhancement of each individual student's professional and personal growth. Everything I have done in my life thus far has been in preparation for becoming a nurse. I don't want to just be a nurse though; I want to be a graduate of ECPI University.

Thank you for considering me,

I think this gives a more catchy start to your response. How about this?
I still remember the exact moment that I decided that I wanted to be a nurse. It was the summer of my 12th birthday. My dad and I were working on a farm putting metal roofing on the barn. My dad ended up cutting his knee open while stepping over the corner piece of the roof. He instantly began to lose a lot of blood due to his blood thinning medication. Realizing he was unable to stop the bleeding on his own, we drove to the hospital. While at the hospital the doctors allowed me to put the stitches in his knee. Being so young at the time this felt like a huge deal, and I felt empowered. Seeing his knee heal made me feel like I could make a difference and that I could help people. From that moment on I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a nurse. .... This is the exact things that describes your passion. So give more focus to that. Then go to the next para to tell about your background.