Hi everyone, I am applying for the Duke Fuqua MQM program. Below is my draft for the long essay, please check the grammar and if the content is appropriate in the draft. Feel free to give advice, Thanks in advance.
Requirement:
The "Team Fuqua" spirit and community is one of the things that set the Fuqua experience apart, and it is a concept that extends beyond the student body to include faculty, staff, and administration. When a new person joins the Admissions Team, we ask that person to share with everyone in the office a list of "25 Random Things About Yourself." As an Admissions team, we already know the new hire's professional and academic background, so learning these "25 Random Things" helps us to get to know someone's personality, background, special talents, and more.
In this spirit, the Admissions Committee also wants to get to know you-beyond the professional and academic achievements listed in your resume and transcript. You can share with us important life experiences, your likes/dislikes, hobbies, achievements, fun facts, or anything that helps us understand what makes you who you are
25 random things about yourself
1.My father comes from Shaan xi while my mother comes from Beijing, so I can understand both Shaan xi dialect and mandarin since I was a child.
2.The last thing I would do is eating coriander.
3. I am fond of reading, especially Adventure fiction and celebrity biography. I once read a 1.5 million words novel in ten days. The attractiveness of adventure fiction and celebrity biography lies in the way people deal with uncertainty conditions.
4.I learnt Erhu, a traditional Chinese instrument for 8 years, during which time I think it's boring and tedious to practice it at first. But as I grew up, I gradually understand the charm of the music world. Finally, I pass the amateur level eight exam. I now perform some classic Chinese music in my spare time to put myself at ease.
5.I am a big fan of the comics of both Marvel and DC. They attract me not only because of those fantastic superpower, but also because of the thinking of humanity. One of my biggest dreams is to go to the SDCC (San Diego Comic Convention).
6.I am proud of being a volunteer. Up to now, I have served for several national and worldwide events, the work length of which added up to over 200 hours. Apart from the happiness gained from helping others, another factor that drive me to do voluntary work is that I can truly involved in the organizing process as a participator.
7.I could hardly understand the content of biology course in senior two, but one year later, I got the highest grade of biology in my class.
8.I have answered over 3500 questions on Baidu Zhidao (Chinese Quora), and many of my answers were "liked" or praised by other users. Due to my outstanding performance, I was once selected as a part-time administrator of Baidu.
9.The longest distance I have ever walked is 21km in one day. It was achieved in a hiking tour organized by my high school, though my feet and legs was burning, I managed to get to the destination. It was at that time that I realized I can do anything as long as I have a strong will.
10.I keep a poster of each of the movie I have watched. Doing so gives me a sense of fulfillment. Besides, I found it interesting to recall the plot of the movies watching those covers.
11.I have megalophobia to some extent, so I skip pictures of massive object when I browse web pages.
12.I am good at whistling. In fact, back in high school, when preparing for the NCEE, my classmates often asked me to whistle a song during the break to relieve stress.
13.Canon in D by Pachelbel's Canon, in my perspective, is the most pleasant piano piece in the world. In fact, I have listened to it hundreds of times and each time I listen, my feeling is different.
14.One of my hobbies was to read DIGITAL COMMUNICATION, a Chinese magazine that introduces mobile phone and digital gadgets. It helps me to keep up with the technological trend. However, the magazine stopped publication in 2014, until now I still keep all the magazines I have bought to remind me of those exciting moments I had from reading those evaluation articles.
15.I use timer instead of alarm clock to wake me up.
16.Back to the future is my favorite movie, and it is this trilogy that introduced me into the sci-fi world. The movie tells me that the future is yet to be decided and there are many exciting experiences waiting for us to explore.
17.I observed and took phots of Transit of Venus, a once-in-a-century celestial phenomenon, in 2012 by myself. The next time it appears is 12/11/2117.
18.Each time I go out with my friends, I am always the one who is responsible to take the group selfie, not because I am a good photographer, but because I am the tallest among my friends and thus I can the selfie at a better angle to include everyone into the photo.
19.The first dish I learnt to cook is kung pao chicken since my mother cooked it so well. Each time I travel to different places in China, I search to find whether there has kung pao chicken, if not, I would be very disappointed.
20.I can recite 160 digits of Pi, not a useful skill, but I think it's pretty cool.
21.I once answered seven consecutive T/F questions correctly by guessing. What a coincidence!
22.I am not a risk taker, but I like to try new things.
23.Unless I become a professor in the future, otherwise I won't be the one with highest degree in my family.
24.Up to now, I have not met a person who was born on the same day as me.
25.The only PC game I play is Asphalt 8.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Sun, Let me do this by number so you will know where the corrections need to be placed.
2. When you tell the reader that the last thing you would do is eat Coriander, you should explain why. That fact would be more interesting with a reason attached to it.
3. Name the book that you read. It will help to create a sense of familiarity with the reader.
6. If you already mentioned being a volunteer in passing or in detail in your other essays, there is no need to present that information here.
7. This is an academic reference. Remove it. Use only casual and fun information from your end. The requirement is clear, they want to get to know you beyond academics. So don't suddenly insert it here.
8. You need to explain what the Chinese Quora is to the reader before you mention it. Remember, your readers will be composed of people unfamiliar with your Chinese background.
15. Briefly explain why you prefer the timer over the alarm clock.
16. Capitalize the movie title. Remember your noun usage rules. Review the whole essay for similar mistakes.
17. Only the event that you participated in is important. The next appearance of the Transit of Venus is not. Remove that sentence.
21. What are T/F questions? If that is academic in nature, remove it and replace it with a fun fact from your end.
23. Rephrase: Unless I become a professor in the future, I won't be the one...
These should be enough to get you started on a revision. These changes can actually result in a final form of your essay.
