hey,this is my personal statement for MSC economics in University of Edinburgh or UCL. Can anyone give some advice on structure, grammar ,wording or relevance ?Thanks SO MUCH!
there is another question: i want to go for phd after getting my master degree but i haven't decided which area to study in.Should i write my career goal instead of my plan on study of phd? (see the last paragraph.there are two versions,one for career goal,the other for phd study without specific area)
Personal Statement
At the beginning of my university life, I, following my parents' suggestions, chose to major in Mechanical Design Manufacturing and Automation but didn't know what my major was about. Those complicated design drawings and cold equipments and components could not arouse my interest not to mention passion. The first time when I audited a lecture about economics I was so appealed by it that I resolutely transferred to the specialty of Economics in the third semester. Economics attracts me with its widespread penetration into diverse sectors like national economic system, financial management and enterprise management. I enjoy the pleasure originated from explorations of the rapidly changing and complex economic issues through analytical tools and methods. So I am eager to locate my postgraduate study at a university with unparallel international reputation like UCL.
Undergraduate study endows me with a solid academic foundation and hands-on skills for future study and research. Microeconomics and Macroeconomics made me fully grasp the basic concepts of economics. Calculus, Probability & Mathematical Statistics, and Accounting fostered my logical thinking and mathematical ability. Finance related courses facilitated me to better understand basic categories, internal relations and movement rules of currency, credit, and financial market, etc. Aiming to integrate what I had learnt with practices, I conducted lots of researches. On the class of Evaluation of Investment Project and Regional Economic Planning, I did a research named "Zhejiang Industrial Structure Based on Shift-Share Analysis" independently. Having referred to mountains of literatures, I analyzed the national index numbers of 9 cities from 2006 to 2011 and obtained 15 indexes in total, for instance, national growth effect, industrial mix effect, and shift share effect, of these cities. By quantitative analysis of these indexes, I regulated the industrial structure of them and put forward my suggestions. Though it was a long process, it taught me the significance of persistence, perfection and accuracy.
In August 2014, I took an internship in China Everbright Bank Xihu branch where I comprehended service consciousness, bank products and business. By patiently communicating with customers and asking them about their demands, I led part of them to PB or ATM, and the rest of them to fill in the forms in advance. If time permitted, I would introduce some bank products, such as SMS and online bank, to them. As good mastery of products' information was crucial to win clients' trust, I cherished chances to get familiar with financial and bank products. This internship enabled me to further understand some courses I took previously as well as the application of some technical terms. Judging that the interest rate and exchange rate changed every day, I thought I might explore into the impact that macroeconomic policy had on bank's stabilization in future.
Apart from internship, I participated in various extracurricular activities, through which my leadership, interpersonal communication and responsibility were enhanced. In the freshman year, I became a debate member and later the vice director of debate club. As an organizer and participator, I guided the team to prepare motions and shouldered the pressure of debate competitions. Once we even sat on the ground to talk over the motion until 12 pm for having no available classrooms. I put much time and energy into the club and felt the efforts paid back when stood on the stage with eloquent arguments and won honors and prizes. For strengthening my adaptability and communication skills, I volunteered in Russia for accompanying and encouraging those kids with infantile autism.
#the first version#
In view of my yearning for professional foundation in and in-depth study of economics, MSc Economics at UCL is the exact program I would like to further study on. United Kingdom is an ideal country for me with impeccable comprehensive strength and high international recognition. With members directing and holding senior positions in research centers involved in policy design and evaluation at UCL, I could access to wide-ranging research activities, which will benefit my future PhD study and career. Upon graduation, I hope I could analyze financial situation with integrated knowledge and analytical methods. In a short run, I decide to seek a job in commercial banks like China Merchants Bank (CMB) to commit myself to investment management. With 3-year working experience in the CMB, I could flexibly apply the bank operation system and strengthen my professional knowledge. When I have time, I will prepare for the certificate of CFA and hope I could be promoted to the department manager and endeavor to contribute to the regional economic development through effectiveness of financial sectors in five years.
#the second version#
In view of my yearning for professional foundation in and in-depth study of economics, SGPE at University of Edinburgh is the exact program I would like to further study on , United Kingdom is an ideal country for me with impeccable comprehensive strength and high international recognition. With members directing and holding senior positions in research centers involved in policy design and evaluation at University of Edinburgh, SGPE provides a high-quality and thorough training in economics, which is prepared for the study of Phd .Upon graduation, I hope I could continue my study for Phd in the area of regional economics development. Though the program is challenging ,I am confident in finishing my study successfully for master degree and become a valuable member of your department.
hey,this is my personal statement for MSC economics in University of Edinburgh or UCL. Can anyone give some advice on structure, grammar ,wording or relevance ?Thanks SO MUCH!
there is another question: i want to go for phd after getting my master degree but i haven't decided which area to study in.Should i write my career goal instead of my plan on study of phd? (see the last paragraph.there are two versions,one for career goal,the other for phd study without specific area)
Personal Statement
At the beginning of my university life, I, following my parents' suggestions, chose to major in Mechanical Design Manufacturing and Automation but didn't know what my major was about. Those complicated design drawings and cold equipments and components could not arouse my interest not to mention passion. The first time when I audited a lecture about economics I was so appealed by it that I resolutely transferred to the specialty of Economics in the third semester. Economics attracts me with its widespread penetration into diverse sectors like national economic system, financial management and enterprise management. I enjoy the pleasure originated from explorations of the rapidly changing and complex economic issues through analytical tools and methods. So I am eager to locate my postgraduate study at a university with unparallel international reputation like UCL.
At the beginning of my university life, I, following my parents' suggestions, chose to major in Mechanical Design Manufacturing and Automation but didn't know what my major was about. Those complicated design drawings and cold equipment and components could not arouse my interest, let alonenot to mention passion. The first time When I audited a lecture about economics for the first time, I was so appealed by it that I resolutely transferred to the specialty of Economics in the third semester. Economics attracts me with its widespread penetration into diverse sectors like/such as national economic system, financial management and enterprise management. I enjoy the pleasure originated from explorations of the rapidly changing and complex economic issues through analytical tools and methods. So I am eager to locate my postgraduate study at a university with unparallel international reputation like UCL.
Undergraduate study endows me with a solid academic foundation and hands-on skills for future study and research. Microeconomics and Macroeconomics made me fully grasp the basic concepts of economics. Calculus, Probability & Mathematical Statistics, and Accounting fostered my logical thinking and mathematical ability. Finance related courses facilitated me to better understand basic categories, internal relations and movement rules of currency, credit, and financial market, etc . Aiming to integrate what I had learnt with practices, I conducted lots of researches. On the class of Evaluation of Investment Project and Regional Economic Planning, I did a research named "Zhejiang Industrial Structure Based on Shift-Share Analysis" independently. Having referred to mountains of literatures, I analyzed the national index numbers of 9 cities from 2006 to 2011 and obtained 15 indexes in total, for instance, national growth effect, industrial mix effect, and shift share effect, of these cities. By quantitative analysis of these indexes, I regulated the industrial structure of them and put forward my suggestions. Though it was a long process, it taught me the meaning / significance of persistence, perfection and accuracy.
In August 2014, I took an internship in China Everbright Bank Xihu branch where I comprehended service consciousness, bank products and business. By patiently communicating with customers and asking them about their demands, I led part of them to PB or ATM, and the rest of them to fill in the forms in advance. If time permitted, I would introduce some bank products, such as SMS and online bank, to them. As good mastery of products' information was crucial to win clients' trust, I cherished chances to get familiar with financial and bank products. This internship enabled me to further understand some courses I took previously as well as the application of some technical terms. Judging that the interest rate and exchange rate changed every day, I thought I might explore into the impact that macroeconomic policy had on bank's stabilization in future.
Apart from internship, I participated in various extracurricular activities,(no comma here) through which my leadership, interpersonal communication and responsibility were enhanced. In the freshman year, I became a debate member and later the vice director of debate club. As an organizer and participator, I guided the team to prepare motions and shouldered the pressure of debate competitions. Once we even sat on the ground to talk over the motion until 12 pm for having no available classrooms. I put much time and energy into the club and felt the efforts paid back when stood on the stage with eloquent arguments and won honors and prizes. For strengthening my adaptability and communication skills, I volunteered in Russia for accompanying and encouraging those kids with infantile autism.
#the first version#
In view of my yearning for professional foundation in and in-depth study of economics, MSc Economics at UCL is the exact program I would like to further study on. United Kingdom is an ideal country for me with impeccable comprehensive strength and high international recognition. With members directing and holding senior positions in research centers involved in policy design and evaluation at UCL, I could get access to wide-ranging research activities, which will benefit my future PhD study and career. Upon graduation, I hope I could analyze financial situation with integrated knowledge and analytical methods. In a short run, I would seek /decide to seek a job in commercial banks like China Merchants Bank (CMB) to commit myself to investment management. With 3-year working experience in the CMB, I could flexibly apply the bank operation system and strengthen my professional knowledge. When I have time, I will prepare for the certificate of CFA and hope I could be promoted to the department manager and endeavor to contribute to the regional economic development through effectiveness of financial sectors in five years.
#the second version#
In view of my yearning for professional foundation in and in-depth study of economics, SGPE at University of Edinburgh is the exact program I would like to further study on , United Kingdom is an ideal country for me with impeccable comprehensive strength and high international recognition. With members directing and holding senior positions in research centers involved in policy design and evaluation at University of Edinburgh, SGPE provides a high-quality and thorough training in economics, which is prepared for the study of Phd .Upon graduation, I hope I could continue my study for Phd in the area of regional economics development. Though the program is challenging ,I am confident in finishing my study successfully for master degree and become a valuable member of your department.
I really like your PS. Personally I think the first version is preferred to the second one.
Cheers!
