Dear all,
I am not satisfied with this essay of mine but not able to pinpoint where exactly the problem lies.. Could you guys please take a look. All suggestions are welcome.
Q. Briefly assess you career progression and elaborate future plans. How will an MBA from our university help?
My parents taught me to be a thinker, allowing me to analyze the world and make informed decisions. This inculcated in me a passion towards finding pragmatic solutions to problems. An engineering course work further challenged my analytical skills and enabled me to critically analyze raw data and present objective solutions. My responsibilities at xxx revolved around project component management for the automobile giant xxx. Such a profile not only engaged my strengths from communication skills and leadership to problem solving but also allowed me to embrace an intense international career. This further grew in me a desire to function at a higher decision making level, where I could combine my technical skills with business acumen.
Upon graduating from xxx, I plan to shift my focus to strategy consulting for the automobile sector or related industry and work with global consulting firms. I hope to start as an associate consultant, where I could synthesize recommendations for specific client problems and implement the change. This would help me to build up a broad toolkit of problem-solving skills, leadership capabilities and foundational knowledge.
After three years, I would take up more leadership oriented role such as the team manager. In this role, I would assist multinational automobile companies to setup and develop businesses and to face organizational challenges in the growing Asian market. Moreover, with an experience of integrating teams in a global workplace, I would be able to develop a dedicated workforce in my team through structured mentoring. Further growing into the consulting field and building real expertise in strategy consulting, I would utilize my creative thinking to develop new approaches that can be applied to a variety of client challenges. I would take up multiple engagements over a wide client base as a partner in the firm.
My short term goals are in sync with my long term entrepreneurial aspirations. Deeply passionate about finding "that perfect" solution, I aspire to setup my own consulting firm in the future. With my field experiencing of working with the automobile industry, I would help companies to set up a stronger base in the Asian market.
Last year while working on project lifecycle planning and production control, I found my responses reactive rather than proactive due to my lack of exposure to business essentials. xxx's education, its global perspective and Asian touch will empower me to fulfill my aspirations by surmounting my current shortcomings. I particularly find xxx's flexibility in letting the students design the MBA course unique. xxx's General Management Program gives me an opportunity to combine my three areas of interest- Strategy, Technology and International Business. Courses such as management consulting, strategy formulation and strategy implementation will help me develop skills required for a successful strategy consultant career. Moreover, the Regional Study Seminar and International Business Law would help me to understand the international business environment and enhance my world wide view.
XXX offers a symbiotic learning platform, giving me the opportunity to enhance my tenacity and build a strong network, while enriching my study group with my varied experiences.
In my opinion, you already have an excellent essay. You've got quite the vocabulary. I'm not sure how much I can help, beyond a few small details.
After three years, I would take up more leadership oriented role such as the team manager. I think you're missing an "a" in this sentence.
In the same paragraph, "I would" is used several times. I'm not quite sure how you could accomplish this, but perhaps you could provide some variety?
I didn't really notice much else, aside from these little things.
Best of luck to you,
Madison
