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"The fight within" Motivation letter for Masters in Mechanical engineering


lithiummonty 1 / -  
Sep 20, 2011   #1
I have written two motivation letters for my application.But i am not sure they are good enough.
Have posted both of these.Guide me which one is better and what else can i add further.Maximum word limit is 250.

1.

I have always been intrigued by technology but nothing exceeds my interest in the realm of mechanical engineering. I secured a seat for undergraduate study in a coveted college aided by outstanding performance in All India Engineering Entrance Examination. Academically rigorous and intellectually challenging program in college and my work experience thereafter has provided me with ample knowledge, skill and confidence to compete with the best of graduates globally.

I secured first position in pan-India recruitment examination conducted by TVS Motor Ltd. where my work was largely limited to management of workforce, time and material. Working within tight deadlines in conformation with industry standards has given me immense confidence to tackle leviathan and difficult workloads.

I loved studying Thermodynamics, Heat-Transfer, Fluid Mechanics and Thermal-Engineering the most during undergraduate study. THRUST for me is an opportunity to enrich my knowledge and to learn the intriguing details that were glossed over or missing in the undergraduate classes. I pursue my interests with overwhelming zeal and would like to specialize in mobility option 6 (AMD & SVF).

I want to spearhead technological advances while working in industry after the graduate study. However, engineering of highest quality is not possible without a comprehensive knowledge of subjects and the aptitude to apply this knowledge to real world scenarios. THRUST will give me the opportunity to be a part of the most novel of engineering practices and research in today's environment. It will help me enhance technical skills and will prepare me for the challenges ahead and give me a perfect platform to be a leader in Green Technology.

I have the potential and the will to pursue graduate work with tremendous dedication. I assure you that I will prove worthy of your esteemed program-me.

2.

With the natural resources decreasing day by day, the focus on renewable sources of energy has been renewed. We need to work on our environment, we need to reduce CO2 emissions and we need to work on climate change. My desire to take up THRUST is in line with my goal to work in the direction of providing sustainable energy resources with minimal scathe to environment.

I took up mechanical engineering in one of the prestigious Institute of North India. I loved studying Thermodynamics, Heat-Transfer, Fluid Mechanics and Thermal-Engineering the most during undergraduate study. I secured first position in pan-India recruitment examination conducted by TVS Motor where my work was largely limited to management of workforce, time and material. Working within tight deadlines in conformation with industry standards has given me immense confidence to tackle leviathan and difficult workloads.

I want to spearhead technological advances while working in industry after the graduate study. However, engineering of highest quality is not possible without a comprehensive knowledge of subjects and the aptitude to apply this knowledge to real world scenarios. THRUST will give me an opportunity to learn the intricate details of Turbo-machinery and Aeromechanics which I plan to apply in the development of new Green Technologies in Himalayas. I want to specialize in mobility option 6 to enhance my technical skills and to get a perfect platform to be a leader in Green Technology.

Academically rigorous and intellectually challenging program in college and my work experience thereafter has provided me with ample knowledge, skill and confidence to compete with the best of graduates globally. I have the potential and the will to pursue graduate work with tremendous dedication.

I assure you that I will prove worthy of your esteemed program-me.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 11, 2011   #2
engineering of highest quality is not possible without a comprehensive knowledge of subjects and the aptitude to apply this knowledge to real world scenarios. THRUST will give me the opportunity to be a part of the most novel of engineering practices and research in today's environment. It will help me enhance technical skills and will prepare me

This material is too obvious. Anyone can say, "The program will prepare me..." and "achieving highest quality is not possible without knowledge.."... Anyone can say this, so it is not interesting. Do you know what I mean?

This part is much more meaningful and specific:
I loved studying Thermodynamics, Heat-Transfer, Fluid Mechanics and Thermal-Engineering the most during undergraduate study. I secured first position in pan-India recruitment examination conducted by TVS Motor where my work was largely limited to management of workforce, time and material. Working within tight deadlines in conformation with industry standards ...give me an opportunity to learn the intricate details of Turbo-machinery and Aeromechanics which I plan to apply in the development of new Green Technologies in Himalayas.---All of this is very good, so I prefer the second essay.


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