"finding a cure for cancer to ending world hunger" - PA Narrative

Thank you very much for taking the time out to help me:

This is where I belong. It seems like everything I've done has lead up to this moment in my life. As early as I can remember I have wanted a career in medicine. I've always had an affinity for helping those in need; couple this with my fascination for medicine and my career path evolved.

As a first generation college graduate my family wanted me to do everything from finding a cure for cancer to ending world hunger. There was however, a general understanding that I would do something in the health field. In college I was uncertain of which health career I wanted to pursue. At that point in my life the only medical careers I knew of where either a doctor or a nurse. Both occupations piqued my interest but I didn't feel completely committed to either. When my grandmother had a heart attack I was introduced to Physical Therapy. I was amazed with the level of patient to provider interaction and with the level of compassion and understanding the PT exhibited. I decided to shadow a PT and realized that while this was a great profession, it wasn't one that completely met my career goals. This experience showed me new possibilities in health care.

After college I took some time out to figure out what direction I wanted to go. I wanted a career that allowed me to practice medicine in various disciplines but also afforded the luxury of spending quality time with family. I began working with a company named xxxxx as a certified Surgical Laser Operator. My job was to manage laser equipment in the operating room while the doctor performed the surgery. It was here that I was able to see the independent yet cohesive role of a physician assistant. It was the first time that I realized that patient care is a collaborative effort. Assisting surgeons as they worked was the most exhilarating experience for me. I would stretch and contort my body to make sure that I had a clear view of the surgery. I felt so privileged to be in an OR. All I remember thinking is "this is where I belong". The doctors and PAs recognized my interest and curiosity. Before long they were explaining conditions to me, making sure I had a clear view, and speaking with me almost as if I their colleague. I wanted nothing more than to be a part of the team. I knew that I wanted that feeling to last for life.

After relocating to xxxx for my husband's job I began looking more into the PA profession. I began shadowing a PA to solidify my decision. I have been in many operating rooms with doctors but it wasn't until I began shadowing a PA that I felt more of the human side. I had the pleasure of shadowing someone who truly cared about her patients, that went the extra mile to make people feel comfortable, and someone who overall enjoyed their line of work. While shadowing I saw a glimpse of myself and who I aspire to be.

I believe that my experiences have prepared me for this moment and this career. The courses required for my Exercise Science major coincide with the requirements for PA school and the building blocks for PAs. From my degree choice to deciding not to become a PT, to xxxx creating a PA program in xxxx, this is the moment that I have been waiting for. I hope that my compassion is recognized and my determination evident. My ambition to become a PA is the deepest desire I've ever known. No other profession can or will fulfill my need to become a PA. This is where I am belong.

I Love your essay!! the only thing I would add is a specific when you talked about how you always wanted a career in medicine, in the first paragraph. It is a good opening. but draw the readers in more, because this is a great essay!

Thanks Kait for your response. I really appreciate you taking the time out to help.

You mean registering as a member of EssayForum, right? I know, it is a life-changing experience! :-)

As early as I can remember I have wanted a career in medicine. ---You know,k I think kids do this too often. They say, "I have always wanted to be an engineer..." etc. The reader will see a thousand essays that say "I have always been..." Use the writing rule: Show, don't tell. That means you should let the reader come to her own conclusion that you have always wanted.

I've always had an affinity for helping those in need; couple this with my fascination for medicine and my career path evolved.
Too common, too generic.

As a first generation college graduate my family wanted me to do everything from finding a cure for cancer to ending world hunger. ---I think the reader will like this sentence. It might be good to make this the first sentence of the essay!

There was however, a general understanding that I would do something in the health field. In college I was uncertain of which health career I wanted to pursue Yeah, yeah, get to the point! :o)

. At that point in my life the only medical careers I knew of where either a doctor or a nurse. Don't say that! Say you have been reading about various medical professions for many years.

Choose what to tell the reader! Everything you do, you should do it for a reason. Have a goal of making the reader know how dedicated you are to achieving success in your chosen field. Do that by showing that you ALREADY are reading lots of articles about medicine.

Oh, the essay gets better and more SUBSTANTIAL as I go along. I do not like the beginning, but I like at more as I continue to read, because you give specific examples of what you have done to pursue your aspiration. That is solid!

I like the "This is where I belong" theme.

Kevin,

Thanks for your input. I completely agree with your revisions. It takes the fluff out of it. I really appreciate your time!