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fxkimji 1 / -  
Feb 11, 2024   #1
I wrote this personal statement but i feel very insecure about it .
can u guys review my personal statement and give me suggestions

At age 10, I remember seeing the National Geography channel, which was broadcasting about bringing mammoths back to life by cloning. The Sooam Biotech Research Center carried out the research. The reader of this essay must be wondering, "How can this child remember something from 10 years ago?". Therefore, the answer is no. Although I couldn't recall the institute's name, I could still clearly recall the broadcast's substance and the images showing the research team removing cells from a frozen mammoth. The entire idea of the research made me starstruck and I was fascinated by the advanced nature of Korean technology. This fascination only kept increasing more and more. I also learned that the electronic technology was top-notch as well. While growing up, major electronics at my home were from either LG or Samsung and those gadgets were one of a kind. The quality bar of these electronics was too high. This was the start of my journey towards liking and a sense of respect towards Korean Technology. Later on, I discovered the synchronous celebration of Indian Independence Day and Korean Liberation Day on the 15th of August. This parallel celebration sparked my interest in the development trajectories of both countries. While India is still in its developmental phase, Korea has made remarkable strides, especially in enhancing literacy rates and establishing itself as a global powerhouse in science and technology research and development. I learned about the GKS scholarship in 2020 during the Covid pandemic. It is a golden opportunity for students wanting to pursue their education at prestigious universities in Korea. Initially, I wanted to apply for the scholarship as an undergraduate student, but I was unable to do so due to COVID-19 restrictions and a delayed high school graduation. It was then that I decided to pursue my bachelor's in my own country and then pursue a master's in Korea.

My name is Isha. I am 20 years old. I am the eldest child of my parents. I also have a younger brother. My father is the sole breadwinner for our family while my mother is a homemaker. Both my parents made me realize the importance of a good education early in my life. They always encourage me to participate in sports and other extracurricular activities. Coming from a humble background where studying abroad seemed like an unattainable dream. {here i am gonna add some more parts about my family background}

I have always been a good student since middle school. I participated in a lot of sports events related to athletics. I also participated in multiple computer programs. I have attached a few major certificates 1 and a printed image of my medals. I passed my 10th examination in 2019 with a score of 92% (460/500). During the 11th grade, I also participated in cultural activities related to the KSHITIJ fest. It is the annual inter-collegiate cultural festival of Mithibai College where I completed two years of my higher secondary education. This was when covid-19 pandemic hit the world. My family faced a lot of financial issues and it also resulted in us changing houses. I decided not to burden my parents financially, get good grades, and get admitted into a good university which I was able to do. I cleared my 12th examination with a score of 91.67%() and got into a computer applications course at my current university.

I started with my undergraduate degree in computer applications at Somaiya Vidyavihar University in August of 2021. It's a prestigious university located in the heart of the city of Mumbai. Currently, I am in the last semesters of my undergraduate degree and I have been a consistent student not failing to make my parents proud. I have an average SGPA of 9.2/10 for the last 5 semesters and hope to graduate with flying colors. During my undergraduate degree, I took up a variety of subjects including Computer fundamentals, Programming languages like Java, Python, and C, web development technologies like HTML, CSS, and Javascript, Database Management Systems, Engineering graphics, Project Management, and Artificial intelligence. Although most of my first year was conducted online I managed to learn the basics of C programming. While I was in my second semester, I also participated in a hands-on graphic design webinar 2. The transition from online to offline mode affected my grades for a bit but I made sure to bounce back and get a better grade the next semester.

At the start of my second year, I was introduced to Python. I started having an interest in Data Science for which Python is majorly used. I took up some courses related to Python 3. For a mini project required for the subject, I made a snake game using multiple Python libraries like pygame. I was also introduced to a variety of other technologies like mobile programming, UI/UX designing, and web development. This year was a major time that shaped me into the person I am today. I started loving and enjoying programming and developed a few projects too. The major project I made was an e-commerce website focusing on screen care products developed based on .NET technology. I also made a few basic Android apps using Flutter. Flutter is a programming language majorly used to develop mobile applications. During the summer break, I took up a course named "TCS iON Career Edge - Young Professional" 4 by 'TCS'. TCS is a reputed Indian MNC multinational information technology (IT) services and consulting company. The course was focused on training students about corporate work etiquette.

After the summer break of 2023, I was already in my last year of undergraduate degree. It was a bit overwhelming but I knew I was closer to my dream of pursuing my masters in South Korea. I started learning Hangul around August of 2023. During this time I also took upon a virtual position as a "Mobile Development Intern' at "Bharat Intern" 5. I was introduced to subjects like Software project management, artificial intelligence, and MERN Stack. I made a "music app" using MERNstack as a mini-project. Now while I still am in my last semester, my final year project is a recipe application with the functionality of an AI recipe generator. The project is still in progress but I'll be able to execute it successfully by the start of April 2024. I have been diligently learning Hangul for the past 6 to 7 months and recently took the online King Sejong Institute Korean Level Test. I achieved a score of 2b 6.

The subject piqued my interest the most was Artificial Intelligence which I took up in my 5th semester. It is a field related to creating machines/systems that exhibit human-like intelligence and decision-making skills. I started researching more about artificial intelligence and took courses online to learn more about the field. One course that I enrolled in was "Microsoft Azure AI Fundamentals" 7. This course helped me get a detailed understanding of Artificial Intelligence and other domains related to artificial intelligence like machine learning, image processing, etc. Guided projects available online have been a life savior for me to learn more about AI. One such course was 'AI-Powered Chest Disease Detection and Classification'8. It helped me learn more about CNN(convolutional neural network) and advanced applications of machine learning. I am continuing to explore the artificial intelligence field with a major focus on research based on natural language processing.

I believe that as a technical major student, It is important to explore all realms that are related to your domain. Exploring more and having open-minded thinking is the key to developing innovative solutions to real-life problems. As I stand on the brink of completing my undergraduate studies, the GKS Scholarship represents a golden opportunity for me to ascend toward my dreams of pursuing higher education and contributing to research. While I may not be the most extraordinary applicant, I am confident in my ability to be a valuable candidate who can contribute to the shared interests of both India and South Korea. I eagerly anticipate the chance to bring my unique perspective and dedication to the academic community in Korea.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Feb 11, 2024   #2
The essay lacks in required substance overall. It does not provide information as required by the list of writing prompts in the application packet.this is a mere academic biography, which, although a necessary part of the application, should not be only content of the packet. You have selectively responded to certain aspects of the written interview rather than responding to all of the questions. That is more than likely because of your lack of actual qualifications prior to applying for the program. A GKS scholar should have at least 2 years or related work experience or exposure. Practical encounters that prove you have the theoretical and technical skills to complete the course. Try to create a more focused paper if you can. Your narration tries to cover too many unrelated information in the presentation. Develop a single outlook paper.

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