Need your help badly for my sop for Nanotechnology-Graduate Admission

Hello

I have graduated in 2004 in mechanical engineering then joined in a manufacturing company as a maintenance engineer in 2005. In that year, I have applied in Tuskegee University and got research assistantship. Unfortunately I could not manage to get the VISA. I tried 3 times for the visa. Results are negative. I thought it was for the GRE. I had not appeared the GRE in that moment as GRE was not required by the university. Next spring, after deferment, I tried again. The counselor asked me to return with my GRE score. Then I took the GRE but got the score too late for that semester. As a result (I think), I failed again. Thereafter, I got myself in frustration and surrendered to apply for graduate studies. Mean while I keep studying about the latest technologies as technology is always my favorite subject. In 2007, I applied IUPUI. I had not got any fund from that university and took no step for that university. An interesting thing was that I wrote a childish SOP for that university (don't know how I got admission). Now I can only laugh at that writing. It was simply nothing but a child's dream (like, I want to be a rocket scientist!!!). Last year, I read a book on nanotechnology and that subject attracted me a lot, allowed me to study more on that subject over internet, and forced me to think about the graduate studies again. I am reading publications of many professors to know what is going on over the nano society. Now I am trying to apply for this subject in USA and EU countries. But the problem is that I can't find the right way to start writing my essay. My previous writing was too poor that I can't rely on it. My undergraduate result is not so attractive (only meets the minimum requirement) that I can polish my previous studies. I have graduated from the best engineering university in my country but the research facility in this school is not so impressive. Again, my honored supervisor was not in good mood to start a thesis with any of his final year students. As a result I could not do any research during my undergraduate study, rather did a negligible hand on project work. My employment history is worse than my undergraduate picture. I work for a reputed multinational company in my country. I manage to run mechanical and electrical workshops to support the production process through maintenance of machineries and fabrication of various accessories as whenever needed. Only things that I can be proud of my career that I have installed and commissioned all the machineries required for electric cables production, and fabricated a water heater of 120 kw for some manufacturing purposes. In addition, I am responsible to manage all occasional programs like picnic, farewell etc.

Now, I need your help badly. Can anyone please advice me how to start a good sop in case of mine. Which matters I can include and how can I end up with my sop?

Thank You

Ahsan

I don't understand do you want us to correct it? is this your sop? or are you starting a new one?

Actually I am trying to write a new SOP. I am requesting you to guide me how to write my SOP. I have provided a short picture of myself to guide me. Please help me.

Thanks.
Ahsan

Kevin, Sean, Simone, Stephen, Susan

Can anyone please help me?

I had not appeared the GRE in that moment as GRE was not required by the university. Next spring, after deferment, I tried again. The counselor asked me to return with my GRE score. Then I took the GRE but got the score too late for that semester. As a result (I think), I failed again. Thereafter, I got myself in frustration and surrendered to apply for graduate studies. Mean while I keep studying about the latest...

This material at the start of your essay is good material for paragraph 2.
Let paragraph 1 be one that expresses your plan. Tell them what meaningful contributions you want to make to the field, and really let it come from the heart. Paragraph one is where you use a perfect sentence to explain your unique plan for work in tis field.


Because college is a business, and also because admission office readers know that people sometimes struggle to express themselves. Language barriers sometimes make writing sound childish. Language barriers do not make people look unintelligent; bilingualism is very impressive.

So, don't worry too much! Just start the paper with a theme of enthusiasm, and make it an introduction of your plan for the next, say, 7 years. Tell us your plan for your time at this school and for the work you will do. This is something you can do with confidence, because you have an admirable life-plan.

With each paragraphm show enthusiasm by giving details about the things you want to do. Explain resources at this school that will be useful for you in your unique process.


If you feel the need to mention this, do so by telling the reader how curious you are about __________ (name an area of research), and how you were frustrated when you were unable to pursue it uring undergraduate work. This way, you are still focused on expressing enthusiasm (i.e. instead of making excuses).

:-)

Get started! Let's see what you write. Remember, you don't have to include everything you might think you have to include. Use the topic sentences to maintain a theme of enthusiasm.