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International Security - Personal Statement - Erasmus Mundus IMSISS Scholarship


SofiaM 1 / -  
Jan 7, 2021   #1

Joint Master Degree in Security, Intelligence & Strategic Studies



When I was walking through countless UNHCR tents in Moria Refugee Camp (Greece), all bearing identifying numbers and hosting more people than humanly possible - in that precise moment, I became aware of the greatest injustice of the world. My name is Sofia Martinelli, I am completing my last semester of my Bachelor Degree in Diplomatic and International Science at the Alma Mater Studiorum of Bologna, and my utmost accomplishment would be to work in the human security field, challenging those paradigms that prevent individuals to live in a safe environment, to live without fear and to pursue their interests. I believe that the Erasmus Mundus Joint Master Degree in Security, Intelligence & Strategic Studies will give me the tools and perspectives to better approach security from an international viewpoint, as well from both a theoretical and an empirical dimension.

Throughout my studies and my experiences, I have developed an interest regarding the Middle East and North Africa region, and about the worldwide consequences of its instability. My volunteering experience in Moria Refugee Camp was crucial in outlining my determination in working in the International Security field and I have in fact taken several courses in that field, including International Conflicts, International Security Studies and The European Union's Common Foreign and Security Policy, all of which I attended in my exchange semester with the Tallinn University of Technology. Those courses gave me the fundamental background for understanding the unstable environment of the MENA Region, although I am looking forward to deepening and exploring my knowledge on the topic, thanks to the courses offered by the Master Degree. As I believe history, language and culture, and politics to be interconnected, and understandable only if studied as a whole, I have started learning the Arabic language as an added transversal competence, and I am thrilled to continue my study in the following semester and in the future, as IMSISS provides the opportunity to further study it. During my last semester, I will also attend a course on the history and institutions of the modern Middle East, giving me more knowledge about the region, and that would be an asset for the course of Politics of the Middle East and North Africa offered by the Dublin City University.

I believe myself to be a perfect candidate for the IMSISS programme, as I am an ambitious person, always aiming at the best I can receive and offer. During my studies, my dedication has always been the main reason of my excellent results, for which I have received two scholarships - the "Camillo Grifi" scholarship, obtained for having graduated high school with top marks; and the scholarship from the Alma Mater Studiorum of Bologna, obtained for being one of the 24 best students in the Political Department of the university. It has been possible to achieve these results not only for my determination, but also because of my critical reasoning, that allowed myself to challenge, and re-elaborate the object of my studies, such as proven by my latest research paper, "The EU-Turkey Deal and the European Union's Migration and Asylum policies: A missed opportunity for renovation".

The IMSISS would be the unequaled choice for my Master, not only because it offers all the subjects I consider to be essential for developing a career in the International Security, but also for the invaluable opportunities it creates for networking, both with students and the relevant security personnel - thanks to the various universities awarding the degree, the internship and placement component of the Master and the offered Summer Schools.

Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Sofia Martinelli

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,088 3251  
Jan 7, 2021   #2
You have strong credentials as an exchange student. However, your essay fails to provide information as to how you came to the decision that this masters degree, at this particular university, in this specific country, Remember, you are applying as an exchange student of sorts. So there needs to be a representation of the two-way benefits, what do you hope to gain, and what can you offer the scholarship which might be beneficial to your co-students under the same program. Never assume that you are a perfect candidate. It would be better if you remove such a statement from the presentation.

The last paragraph does not fully develop the reasons why you chose this masters course. As a closing statement, you should be singing the praises of the university you have chosen to attend instead. There should be 2 universities indicated in the statement since you have the opportunity to study at 2 locations. The excitement about what you can learn and contribute to each university should be evident in the presentation.
A7zanany 1 / 3  
Jan 8, 2021   #3
i think it should be
... paradigms that prevent individuals to live from living in a safe environment


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