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"my knowledge in the marketing arena" - Describe any achievements you have made



Zeinab1383 5 / 28  
Nov 20, 2010   #1
Hi everybody!
It is the question:
"If you are a re-applicant to the NUS MBA Programme or its Double Degree programmes, please describe any achievements you have made since your last application."

and it is the essay I have written! would you check it and give me a feedback?

"It is the third year in row I am applying for NUS MBA programme. The last year I was lucky to be shortlisted for the interview but unfortunately, I was not successful. So, I decided to improve my qualifications.

In this regard, I took part in two international conferences. The first one was "Marketing and selling of life insurance policies" in which Kevin Kelly internationally acclaimed motivational speaker on entrepreneurship, leadership, sales, creativity and personal excellence talked in it.

Mr. Mehdi Fakharzadeh one of the most successful insurance agents was another lecturer of the conference. Five members of MDRT (The Million Dollar Round Table) also talked about their experiences and methods of marketing.

The second one was international selling conference. Sylvia Perreault, trainer and coach in proud success, Richard Denny, an inspirational business speaker from UK were two of the lecturers.

These conferences helped me to remember how important the knowledge and dream is in my life. Therefore, I decided to apply for the NUS MBA for the third year to achieve my dream of continuing education in a prestigious university.

My paper, "Marketing of life insurance policies; a practical experience" was accepted in the third national conference of "improvement of Iran Insurance Industry".

To expand my knowledge in the marketing arena, I have started reading
To have a better focus on our department operations and optimize our performance, I am learning SPSS."

seema07 1 / 1  
Dec 1, 2010   #2
Hello once again
I read your essay and i think Kevin has already mentioned what improvements need to be done. I feel that you have to make your essay so interesting that the reader feels that you are a truly deserving candidate. From the first time, you applied, to the third time what are the qualities that you have developed? (you mentioned that you started reading...so it would be impressive if you mention which books/magazines/newspaper etc.), what are the new things (probably related to marketing) that you have learnt? try to put these things in ur essay.

Hope u succeed this time. Good Luck!


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