"knowledge in physical chemistry and scientific skills" - Chemistry Ph.D. SOP

Hi, here is my SOP in the following for Chemistry Ph.D. I need your advise for I'm not a native English speaker. Thank you!

I loved pure beauty. I tried to prepare limewater in order to exam the reaction between carbon dioxide and calcium hydroxide when I was 14. I kept an airtight bottle of orange juice to observe its color change in high school. Chemistry finally, visualized the underlying beauty for me, by leading me from the world of phenomenon to the world of essence. I chose chemistry as my career because of the sheer happiness in store and I would be gratified if society could benefit.

I have been eager to learn since the first day of my college life. Standing in front of rows of bookshelves in the library of F University, I couldn't help but pick up books one after another for I wanted to read them all. I ended up finishing the entire spectrum of chemistry study accompanied with many other books of interest, such as mathematics, which in turn provided me an in-depth understanding of Chemistry. This was reflected in my many top-graded (A) courses, even for Structural Chemistry, which was supposed to be the most sophisticated course in physical chemistry. Through the earnest pursuit of knowledge, I ranked in the top 5 out of 114 undergraduates in the Chemistry Department.

Besides my endeavor in the academic studies, I also actively participated in the research works in S H Key Laboratory - Surface Chemistry Laboratory. I have been intensively involved in three projects and have already submitted two papers to two top journals cooperating with graduate students under the guidance of Prof. X X. (Please refer to my CV for details.) In my mind, research came along with pleasure, not only in overcoming the difficulties but also the brain storm of coming across novel ideas. In the first project of glycerol hydrogenolysis, the copper catalyzed glycerol conversion was lower than expectation. After reading many related articles, I was aware of the importance of matching the key reaction with suitable catalyst. Later in the second project, supported gold catalyst was selected for aromatic nitro compound reduction in which gold exhibited high activity. Based on previous experience, I came up with the idea of amines synthesis catalyzed by supported gold nanoparticles as the third project. Currently, I am leading this project which has successfully applied for F University "W D" Program, an elite program only for selected research topics.

Due to my excellent academic and research behavior, I was granted a one-semester exchange to the University of Hong Kong in the spring of 2010 and awarded the Fung Foundation scholarship. During that exchange term, I was invited to Prof. X X X's group, whose research covered most cutting-edge topics about high resolution laser spectroscopy and fourier transform spectroscopy of small molecular. It embarrassed the same elements of deep insight into the nature of chemical mechanism that I wanted to strive for.

I long to forge ahead in the chemistry and reveal the inner beauty of appearance. Therefore I choose to apply for the XXX Program XXX Department XXX University. (University, Department) is an ideal place for scientific research with distinguished faculty and inspiring atmosphere. If accepted to (University, Department), I would treasure the opportunity and bring positive contributions to the doctoral program with everlasting enthusiasm. I believe that (University) would send me on the way to achieve my dream.

I think this first sentence should be more specific. When a reader sees something like this, something that does not tell her anything significant, she stops paying attention. So... can this first sentence name the specific topics within Chem. that particularly interest you?


Again, this is very obvious. You are obviously a brilliant thinker, so I challenge you to come up with a sentence that reflects your playful enthusiasm or your serious resolve. Make the reader interested.


What careful consideration did you give? I want to know about your specific thoughts and life-strategy. This essay shows that you are a high achiever, but do not rely on that. Make the essay surprising and as unique as you are.

:-)

Thanks Kevin!

It is the 4th edition of my statement of purpose.

I added two specific things into my beginning and tried to make it is unique as I can. As I am not a native English speaker, I want to know if it is explicit enough, or anything else can be revised to be more impressive? Thank you all!

I think you can make the last paragraph for specific for the school you are applying. You should check the school website to see the requirement for personal statement. They usually don't like a generic one.