Master of Nursing, statement of intention. Nursing has been my passion since my childhood.

Hi, I am applying for the master of nursing program, and need to have a statement of intent.
this is the requirement:
The application process includes an opportunity for you to consider your current preparation and future goals. This personal declaration will offer the admissions committee evidence of your knowledge, commitment, and the experience that you hold as you pursue advanced preparation in Nursing. Please address the following in a 1 - 2 page essay, which you will then upload on your student centre:

Describe your professional experience as a nurse to date and how this preparation has prepared you for future education in your chosen stream (direct practice, education, health systems/leadership. Clearly identify your practice/population of focus of your programs.

What has led you to apply for this particular graduate program?
What are your goals upon completion of the program?
Any additional information you wish to provide to the admissions committee.

I am looking for some writing help, feedback. and English is not my first language, so I really do like a grammar check. many thanks.

Nursing has been my passion since my childhood, I grew up in a rural area, throughout my childhood, my family has been in and out of hospital due to chronic illness or life threatening condition, I remember every time visiting them in the hospital and spending the time at their bedside, looking at the nurses come in and out of room providing the comfort care to my family. I knew they are busy with their heavy patient load from the way they rushing down the hallway, but each time when nurses came to the room , they took their time to provide comfort and compassionate care to our love ones who was taking the last few breathes in the bed. They took time to answer our concerns and provide emotional support at the most need it time. I am very thankful to this day how extraordinarily caring the nurses were in some of my family's darkest times. That sparked my nursing dream, and I decided to become a nurse to aim to give the same care and support that many nurses had done for my family.

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I'll make some small changes here:
...due to chronic illness or life threatening conditions . [End the sentence with a period and start a new one.]I remember every time visiting them in the hospital and ...

Hmm... I think instead of saying nursing has been your passion you should say medicine or health care is your passion. That sounds more genuine. Another way to sound genuine is to discuss your specific interests: specific illnesses to treat, specific philosophies of nursing, specific nursing theorists who inspired you, and tell who are the modern nursing professionals whose books and articles inspire you? Do not JUST be a nurse. Be someone with specialized interests. : ) That is how to be favored when you apply to the program.

I had made small changes.thank you for your suggestion.

just kinda edit again
I had made small changes.thank you for your suggestion.

I grew up in a rural area, throughout my childhood, my family has been in and out of hospital due to chronic illness or life threatening condition. I remember every time visiting them in the hospital and spending the time at their bedside, looking at the nurses come in and out of room providing the comfort care to my family. I knew they are busy with their heavy patient load from the way they rushing down the hallway, but each time when nurses came to the room , they took their time to provide comfort and compassionate care to our love ones who was taking the last few breathes in the bed. They took time to answer our concerns and provide emotional support at the most need it time. I am very thankful to this day how extraordinarily caring the nurses were in some of my family's darkest times. That sparked my nursing dream, and I decided to become a nurse to aim to give the same care and support that many nurses had done for my family.

During the nursing school I learn the process of disease and varies source of health promotion, I realize the importance of primary health promotion. That emphasise the importance of prevention and education, which could be helpful to my family back then. As a developing country and lived in rural area, my family has limit access to resource and has lack of education on recognition of illness, which when the disease progress rapid, the treatments were limit to none. After moved to (country name), it is still unfortunate to see people in community suffer from those preventable diseases due to lack of resource and education.

I start working at health care facility during nursing school, I have worked as health care aid, undergraduate nurse, graduated nurse and Registered nurse now. As a Registered Nurse in the acute care facility, I notice the importance of education, when the information is not delivered or proceed appropriately, in which the miscommunication can really effect the treatment. Education is one of the most proactive measures nurses help in patient care, it leads to better patient compliance, perception and enhance the therapeutic trust relationship.

I like working in health care, I like to use my ability to help others. I enjoy learning the scientific and medicine phase of the human body, however, nursing also allows me to focus on caring. I fell I am prepared to reach for the next step of my career. Graduate program will give me more strength and ability to join the health care force. It will provide me the indepth scientific information and the research allows me to grow my ability to seek and improve the care. Growing up seeing my family and community member suffer from preventative disease, I want to be able to do my share to provide correct help and better management. Also, because I came from a diverse background, it gives a great opportunity for me to help the minority in the society. I want to be able to reach my hands to diverse population and teach proactive measure to raise the public awareness to preventable illness.

My profession goal is to be involved in direct patient care, to become a Nurse Practitioner. Having Master degree in Nursing can help me to reach my step closer to my goal. To the end, I would like to be able to become most effective clinician to help the people in minority or the rural area to have better chance to access to health care information. My compassion, work and education help to define who I am and who I like to become. I have selected your program because of excellent teaching quality , dedicate current and future research and most important your commitments of providing healthcare work with high quality of education to better serve our community. Despite the excellent teaching and research quality of this university, (school name) is where my nursing career begin and I would like to be able to future my education and career from the place I start.

Thank you for considering my application

I like working in health care, I like to use my ability to help others. I enjoy learning the scientific and medicine phase of the human body, however, nursing also allows me to focus on caring. I fell I am prepared to reach for the next step of my career. Graduate program will give me more strength and ability to join the health care force. It will provide me the indepth scientific information and the research allows me to grow my ability to seek and improve the care. Growing up seeing my family and community member suffer from preventative disease, I want to be able to do my share to provide correct help and better management. I would like to further my education and research on patient education, couselling, health maintenance and disease prevention. Also, because I came from a diverse background, it gives a great opportunity for me to help the minority in the society. I want to be able to reach my hands to diverse population and teach proactive measure to raise the public awareness to preventable illness.