DNP - Graduate Nursing Personal Statement (maternal-child nursing)

Hello, this is my first draft of my personal statement and I am really stuck! Thank you for any advice.

As a young child I aspired to become a neonatal intensive care nurse. Although my interests and professional goals have expanded beyond neonatal care, I have never waivered in my determination or dedication to the nursing profession. Nursing is an exciting, ever-changing, and demanding field with doctorally prepared nurses as the leaders of this profession.

As a registered nurse, I was a team-member in the only Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in northeast Kansas. While caring for the smallest of patients, I was struck by the need for improvement in prenatal care and improved education and support for the breastfeeding NICU mother. I began my graduate career in the nurse midwifery track, but realized that my strengths and passion were in primary care; I finished my master's degree in the family nurse practitioner track. While in the FNP program, I was visiting my family when my son was seen at a rural urgent care and I was inspired to spend my capstone semester at that site.

Although I had never considered rural healthcare prior to that rotation, following graduation I accepted a position in a rural critical access hospital in Jefferson County, KS. My time has been spent providing in-patient care, covering the emergency room, and providing care in the family practice clinic. The hospital is primarily staffed by mid-level providers, which has allowed for many unique and challenging learning opportunities. As an underserved county, our patients face many barriers to healthcare including limited financial and educational resources. My current clinical projects include: developing guidelines and teaching tools for prenatal care based on ACOG recommendations, grant writing in cooperation with the county health department for additional funding to provide care to the uninsured and underinsured in the county, implementing the Vaccines for Children Program, and starting the only breastfeeding support group in the county.

As a docorally prepared nurse, I plan to continue to improve the healthcare for those in rural communities, particularly in the area of maternal-child nursing. I hope to continue to encourage preventive and primary care for women, particularly prenatal care, and to promote breastfeeding support and education.

pretty good, maybe omit the first paragraph and expand on the work you are doing in community and how that affects your drive...

As I read the intro, I can already tell you are a great communicator. When I get to the end of the intro, though, I have to tell you that you did not establish a great theme.

Use the last sentence of your first para to plant an idea for the reader to consider. This idea you gave at the end of the first para is not one that helps the reader to appreciate your passion for the work, your noble aspirations, etc. Make it so that this essay expresses your unique combination of ideas to offer the field of nursing. What is YOUR personal/professional theme? I am sure you have given a lot of thought to the philosophy of nursing.


When I look at this first sentence of paragraph 2, I think this is not a good first sentence for a paragraph. The first sentence of the paragraph should express the main idea of the paragraph. This sentence should be the second sentence of the paragraph, because it gives an example to demonstrate the idea you express.

Okay, so my advice is like this: Google "paragraph topic sentence" to help you powerfully express 2 or 3 solid ideas that add up to your main idea. Express your main idea, the single idea you want the reader to remember, at the end of the first paragraph.

And what should that idea be? It should be the perfect sentence to express your unique "purpose," your unique approach to nursing.

Another way to express your unique perspective is to cite some research articles and mention some types of research you would like to do. Mention some books and articles that you have read recently.

:-)