Memorable event: When our college invited donations to build a new dorm

One more essay about my contribution to communities. Pls help
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Being brought up in a poor family, I always keep in mind the importance of my contributions to surround communities. In 1999, my father encouraged me to become a Seventh-day adventist and to participate in church's community services. I joined our church's choir and youth members every Saturday to visit elderly and needy people to share their difficulties. Beside, I served in other church services to organize wedding ceremonies for poor couples by staying at church, sometimes until midnight to decorate for the ceremony and then to serve as a waitor during their wedding parties.

Despite of several extracuricular activities in college, the most memorable event was when our college invited donation to build new domitory. I and other students were involved in that fund-raising event where we sold souvenirs and food to visitors and donated all of our profit.

My spirit to work for the good of my community continues when I returned after graduation. I and my family often co-ordinate with our church to organize charitable trips to distant areas where minorities live and deliver presents during holidays. I'm always proud of my past contributions and will continue serving for my community.

Being brought up in a poor family, I always keep in mind the importance of my contributions to the surrounding communities.

Lets add a sentence to the beginning of paragraph 2:

Using my time to help others is what I enjoy most. Despite many extracurricular activities at my college...
the most memorable event was when our college invited donations to fund the building of a new dormitory.

Use a spell checker, and look up each word in a dictionary. I see a lot of spelling mistakes.

I like your theme of spending time to help others. You could spend time watching movie, but other people are suffering, and it is hard to enjoy watching movies when people are suffering in the region that surrounds your community!

:-)

Hi Kevin,

Many thanks for yr valued suggestion & tks for helpful forum.