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What are some of occurances that have formed my point of view and the way I live now



rupali1234 1 / -  
Oct 23, 2017   #1

My experiences tought me someting



Life is beautiful. I obtain lots of experience in our life which sometimes good or sometimes not as per our expectations.
In every phase of our life I learn lot of things about realty.

Now sometimes I realize that my base of education is not appropriate at all. In my school life I tried to learn in order to pass in the exam. So tried to memorized my study instead of understanding, which temporarily help me to pass in the exam but it did not help to acquiring knowledge therefore now I can not remember what I had studied in six standard or seven standard. For example, recently I gave a competitive exam, where I had to do some math which I learnt in my school life but now I forgot everything and as a result I could not attended those math in my competitive exam. So I think if I focused to read or learn with proper undestandig or if my parents advised me that I should learn with understanding then today I might not faced this problem.

Another experience is when I entered in a corporate sector I faced lot of challenges. In this sector apart from education we need to know the work ethics, business strategies, product knowledge and also beware about office politics.

Last experience is settling in a new country. I used to live with my parents for twenty eight years but after my marriage I had to stay in United states. I faced lot of challenges. It was not easy to settle alone in a different country, as we will not get any help from our family, we have to do all our work, can not share our thoughts and emotion with our parents whenever we want, which is sometimes depressive as we have only few friend over here. And we can not share our personal problem with them. So this situation taught me how important family are. However, this experience also very helpful, as we learn how to live or settle in an another country without anyone's help. This experience is very important at present days.

as6485 - / 1  
Oct 23, 2017   #2
You may concentrate on improving the grammar especially number and tense. Also, spend some time on structuring your thoughts before writing them, so that you write coherent and structured paragraphs.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15357  
Oct 24, 2017   #3
Rupali, you may want to remove the reference to your academic life in the essay because the fact that you cannot do those math equations now have nothing to do with your development as a person. Instead, you should try to talk more about the life learning experiences that you encountered in your professional and personal life. Those are the two aspects of this essay that can clearly depict the kind of person you have become due to life occurrences. You only present 2 sentences for your life in the corporate sector. That does not present the story as to what kind of experience you had there and how it would affect your point of view and the way you live your life now. For the experience in the new country, since you got married, maybe it would be better if you discuss how you had to adjust to married life in a country other than your own. What adjustments did you have to make? What did you come to realize about yourself as a married person?

Then add a final paragraph, one that discusses how the combination of these experiences and settings have created a unique individual that you are also just getting to know better these days. What kind of overall point of view about life and the way you live now do you now embody which has created this evolved or new person that we should be interested to get to know.
rumihumaira 4 / 12  
Oct 31, 2017   #4
I think the opening line about life is beautiful should not be put there: maybe it'll be better at the closing sentence, since the reader would want to look for concrete details first.

I suggest you write out the main points you want to deliver first in this essay so you wouldn't get carried away with your writing. I am still having a bit difficulty to grasp your main messages.


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