Hello everyone. I would like your help in my
Any help regarding essay structure, key points, grammar, and vocabulary would all be appreciated.
(Draft below)
"Come over here, I want to tell you a story", said my mother every weekend after we had finished dinner. Most of her stories were fiction stories with a moral lesson, but she would slowly share stories of her life living in a small island village with barely enough money to afford education. On a certain day, as I was contemplating on which university and major to choose for the next step in my studies, she told a different story. It was a story of how my father was fired from his job as a financial controller at a reputable hotel in my town. In short, my father was caught embezzling the profits earned by the hotel. The hotel was audited after the boss of the hotel found multiple money transfers which would then be transferred back after a certain amount of time had passed. The bank account was tracked, and it led to my father as the bearer of the account. My mother ended the story with a message that whatever major I chose and the job I ended up in the future, I would have to be responsible with the power and authority I would be holding. The story made me realize that fraud, embezzlement, and corruption are prevalent in this world, and I want to become someone who can bring light to the various mishandlings that devious people/corporation do for their own personal gain. I decided that I want to become an auditor myself.
To be an auditor, I would first need to learn more about the world of accounting, which led to my BBA specializing in Accounting & Finance. The next natural step would then be for me to continue my studies, deepen my knowledge and prepare myself to get a job, preferably in a country with a strong business hub. Alliance Manchester Business School is the perfect choice for me as it ticked many of my ideal choices for my next step in my studies. As the United Kingdom's 'ORIGINAL' modern city, the world's first industrialized city, and now one of the biggest economic hubs in the UK and the world, Manchester offers loads of potential jobs and opportunities, meaning that there will also be more demands for the services provided by accounting firms whether big or small. It is a perfect platform for me to 'APPLY' the theories and practices learnt during my studies. Being one of the oldest business school in the UK, getting my masters in the UK would enable me to interact with smart and motivated people in an environment that has successfully nurtured the 'THINKING' minds of many successful businessman such as former KMPG UK Chairman Simon Collins and former chairman of the London Stock Exchange Sir Donald Cruickshank. Should I get the offer to enroll, I am looking forward to learning from some of the best lecturers that the university has to offer. Specifically, I can imagine myself talking for hours about Audit Technology with Professor William Turley, who had recently published a publication about the incorporation of Big Data Analytics into audit firms.
Being an auditor requires certain skills and capabilities such as critical thinking, attention to detail, and problem-solving skills. I would argue that I had started developing those skills during my time in Japan. After 2 years of part-time work at a convenience store, I had earned the trust of the owner and manager to be able to handle day-to-day closing entries. I had to be careful in entering the data to minimize any potential trouble, and in cases where the account does not balance out, I had to figure out what caused the issue and solve the problem. The rigorous and challenging nature of the MSc Accounting course would then enable me to further polish and develop those skills. From that experience, I have also learnt about the accounting systems and practices that Japan is currently utilizing, and I would be more than happy to share my knowledge with the rest of my peers.
to explain a little bit about the 3 air quoted and bolded world 'ORIGINAL', 'APPLY', & 'THINKING', it is an attempt to incorporate Manchester Business School's brand of "Original Thinking Applied". Do you guys think it's too forced? Are the bold and air quote unnecessary? Any idea on how to incorporate it better? Please give input on this as well.
Once again, any help is much appreciated.
Thanks in advance for the help.
SOP for MSc in Accounting at Manchester Business School.
Any help regarding essay structure, key points, grammar, and vocabulary would all be appreciated.
(Draft below)
"Come over here, I want to tell you a story", said my mother every weekend after we had finished dinner. Most of her stories were fiction stories with a moral lesson, but she would slowly share stories of her life living in a small island village with barely enough money to afford education. On a certain day, as I was contemplating on which university and major to choose for the next step in my studies, she told a different story. It was a story of how my father was fired from his job as a financial controller at a reputable hotel in my town. In short, my father was caught embezzling the profits earned by the hotel. The hotel was audited after the boss of the hotel found multiple money transfers which would then be transferred back after a certain amount of time had passed. The bank account was tracked, and it led to my father as the bearer of the account. My mother ended the story with a message that whatever major I chose and the job I ended up in the future, I would have to be responsible with the power and authority I would be holding. The story made me realize that fraud, embezzlement, and corruption are prevalent in this world, and I want to become someone who can bring light to the various mishandlings that devious people/corporation do for their own personal gain. I decided that I want to become an auditor myself.
To be an auditor, I would first need to learn more about the world of accounting, which led to my BBA specializing in Accounting & Finance. The next natural step would then be for me to continue my studies, deepen my knowledge and prepare myself to get a job, preferably in a country with a strong business hub. Alliance Manchester Business School is the perfect choice for me as it ticked many of my ideal choices for my next step in my studies. As the United Kingdom's 'ORIGINAL' modern city, the world's first industrialized city, and now one of the biggest economic hubs in the UK and the world, Manchester offers loads of potential jobs and opportunities, meaning that there will also be more demands for the services provided by accounting firms whether big or small. It is a perfect platform for me to 'APPLY' the theories and practices learnt during my studies. Being one of the oldest business school in the UK, getting my masters in the UK would enable me to interact with smart and motivated people in an environment that has successfully nurtured the 'THINKING' minds of many successful businessman such as former KMPG UK Chairman Simon Collins and former chairman of the London Stock Exchange Sir Donald Cruickshank. Should I get the offer to enroll, I am looking forward to learning from some of the best lecturers that the university has to offer. Specifically, I can imagine myself talking for hours about Audit Technology with Professor William Turley, who had recently published a publication about the incorporation of Big Data Analytics into audit firms.
Being an auditor requires certain skills and capabilities such as critical thinking, attention to detail, and problem-solving skills. I would argue that I had started developing those skills during my time in Japan. After 2 years of part-time work at a convenience store, I had earned the trust of the owner and manager to be able to handle day-to-day closing entries. I had to be careful in entering the data to minimize any potential trouble, and in cases where the account does not balance out, I had to figure out what caused the issue and solve the problem. The rigorous and challenging nature of the MSc Accounting course would then enable me to further polish and develop those skills. From that experience, I have also learnt about the accounting systems and practices that Japan is currently utilizing, and I would be more than happy to share my knowledge with the rest of my peers.
to explain a little bit about the 3 air quoted and bolded world 'ORIGINAL', 'APPLY', & 'THINKING', it is an attempt to incorporate Manchester Business School's brand of "Original Thinking Applied". Do you guys think it's too forced? Are the bold and air quote unnecessary? Any idea on how to incorporate it better? Please give input on this as well.
Once again, any help is much appreciated.
Thanks in advance for the help.
