Your success as a Peace Corps Volunteer is based on the trust and confidence you build by living in, and respectfully integrating yourself into, your host community and culture (Core Expectation #4).
Learning about foreign cultures has always been a great passion of mine. This yearning has influenced me to take courses in Japanese, Italian, and Spanish language and culture, to forge lasting friendships with people of varied ethnic ties, and maybe most importantly, to invite Debbie, a Foreign exchange student from Switzerland, to live with my family for a school year.
Living with Debbie for eight months challenged the way I regarded many American idiosyncrasies, as well as core values that I'd been raised with. For instance, Debbie could never understand why people would ask "how are you?" and walk away without hearing ... [..]
Is is engaging? should I take a paragraph to translate this experience to how I will fit in to my host community in the Peace Corps? Thanks!
To answer your questions, I do believe this essay is very interesting and I definitely think you need to add how you are going to apply what you've experienced to your work with the Peace Corps.
I've got a few suggestions:
The second sentence is incredibly long and complicated - and takes up the space of a paragraph! :)
Learning about foreign cultures has always been a great passion of mine. This yearning (or craving) for culture has influenced me to take courses in Japanese, Italian, and Spanish language and culture.In addition, it has given me the opportunity to forge lasting friendships with people of varied ethnicitiesties , and maybeperhaps most importantly, to invite Debbie, a Foreign exchange student from Switzerland, to live with my family for an entire school year.
Living with Debbie for eight months has challenged the way I regarded many American idiosyncrasies, as well as core values that I've been raised with. For instance, Debbie could never understand why people would ask "how are you?" and walk away without hearing the answer. I discovered that Debbie had more trouble speaking English in the morning (that's interesting - why?) , she loved educating us about Swiss culture, and anything in the refrigerator without a clear "do not eat" sign was fair game. We also learned pretty quickly never to call her Swedish. It was sometimes hard to determine if our differences were due to cultural diversity, or if they stemmed from beliefs, customs, and habits that can vary even within a community. (I'm unclear as to the point you're trying to make in the last sentence - after or you give an example of cultural diversity - difference in beliefs, customs and habits - what do you mean?)
It wasn't until I gotwas able to spend six weeks living with her family (where?) that I had the opportunitychance to distinguish (not sure distinguish is the right word - cultural values help shape personal preferences and it would be very hard to distinguish which influenced her behavior - perhaps you could just say you observed?) between Debbie's personal preferences and the underlying cultural values that helped to shape her. After meeting her family and friends, I deducedfound that not everyone in Switzerland iswas as opinionated as hershe is . The social norms of Western European teenagers waswere not as difficult to adapt to, though it meant getting used to traveling by train instead of car, spending a great deal ofas much time outdoors as possible , and stopping for smoke breaks every fifteen minutes or so. I found that my confidence in meeting new people took a bit of a blow, but people were mostly helpful and understanding, especially when I attempted to speak with them in my broken Italian. (this would be a wonderful sentence to elaborate on for the Peace Corps - they're looking to know that you can handle culture shock - give examples of how you felt, whether it be scared or frustrated - and write about how you worked your way through problems rather than just a general 'people were understanding and helpful'.)
Living with my foreign exchange sister brought its challenges, both cultural and personal. I had to let go of my ownsome of the stereotypes I had (none of the French men I met even had a moustache!). I altered a few of my habits (I missed peanut butter the most), and developed new tastes (I never thought I'd like rabbit). Through all of this change, I learned about myself and my country, and I gained a lifelong friend, teacher, traveling buddy, and sister. - I would suggest adding to this paragraph, and detailing how the experience of knowing Debbie will enable you to feel comfortable with another cultural environment. Speak of how you're open to cultural differences, how you like to learn customs and behaviors that are different from your own, basically how this experience will help you fit in when you will be culturally isolated.
Hope this Helps!
This was incredibly helpful, thanks! I've made those revisions, and edited myself a shiny new ending paragraph, but I'm a bit unsure of the transition between my experiences and my expectations; does anyone have a suggestion?
were not difficult to adapt to, though it meant-----The way you wrote this, it is unclear what "it" refers to.
my acclimation to them involved getting used to...
... able to make the most of my experience abroad by using a few simple methods.---This makes me think you are going to talk about methods. I think, instead, you should revise the end of this sentence to mention Debbie or the concepts you are about to discuss. That way, it will be a nice transition into this:
When I invited Debbie into...
And you can do this:
... will incorporate customs with which I'm comfortable while learning and...
:-) nice job!
