PhD Statement of Research Interests: physicist going into Neuroscience

Dear EssayForum members,

I have finally completed my STORI and it was a lot harder and took a lot longer than expected. I would like to let you know that I am not completely happy with it, therefore I would be glad if you could give me as many tips as possible. I read in the forum a post by EF_Kevin saying that one should stick to a theme. I tried to do that by sticking to the Romania - education theme.

So far all that has been asked for the application is a statement of research interests or motivation letter and a tip: "As a tip, just make clear in your statement of research interests or in your letter how you can contribute with your background." Here it is:

Dear Prof. Dr.

After doing both my bachelor's and master's degrees in physics I decided to take a break from academia in order to get a better grasp of organization and leadership. Together with a good friend I am Managing Partner for a startup in some country. I very much like running a company, yet I could never get the thought out of my head, that the most enjoyable part of my working life was scientific research, especially neuroscience. It was such a nag that I decided to do a PhD, and the neuroscience department at some university seems to be the perfect fit.

It was at the university of xyz that I was first exposed to research; in the Acoustics Group I measured the ground impedance of lawn, gravel and pavement, among other materials, and some of these measured impedances were used in the revision of the ANSI S1.18 standard.

My interests in acoustics and signal processing led me to develop an invertible audio coding algorithm which uses psychoacoustic phenomena (such as spectral and temporal masking) but also takes advantage of the signal conversion in the cochlea from a mechanical wave to neuronal firing. The research was part of my bachelor thesis: "Audio Coding Using Spectro-Temporal Masking" under the supervision of Prof. Dr. Ing. XYZ. My research rewarded me with considerable knowledge about hearing and audio processing, and my thesis greatly improved my programming and Matlab abilities.

Following my bachelor thesis my focus turned to hearing research. During my internship at the xyz university, I analyzed the implications of simultaneous reflection masking, where a test reflection is masked by the direct sound. The study, involving both normal listeners and hearing impaired subjects, investigated the effects of binaural reflection enhancement and binaural reflection suppression. We successfully proved that the latter seems to involve mechanisms that are robust to auditory-internal noise-floor and hearing-impairment. The results were presented and published in the proceedings of the International Symposium on Auditory and Audiological Research, Helsingřr, Denmark, 2008.

The completion of my master of science thesis and interdisciplinary courses such as "Neurocognition" and "Biophysics and Neuronal Physics" strongly sparked my interest in neuroscience. In the thesis "Functional MRI Activation Maps in Response to Interaural Time and Phase Differences", directed by Dr. xyz, I used a Siemens Sonata 1.5T fMRI scanner to record neuronal activity in normal hearing patients. The data, analyzed with SPM5 in Matlab, was used to investigate the accuracy of the Jeffress model of sound source localization in the human auditory brain stem and auditory cortex. Of all the topics that I have had the opportunity to research, I found the study in the human brainstem and auditory cortex to be the most rewarding.

I have been very fortunate to have such wonderful opportunities during my tenure as a student and researcher; technical discussions, using logical thought to solve problems, teamwork and independent work, presentation of my achievements and my continual education have provided me with immense pleasure. Teaching is also something I very much enjoyed, both as a tutor and as a capoeira instructor. I thus came to realize that a PhD is the one thing that embodies all of the above, and I would very much like to be an original contributor to knowledge.

I am very interested in studying the brain using imaging methods such as fMRI, ERP and MEG, since these methods allow studying interactions of neural populations rather than single neurons. Neuroscience sub-fields that attract me are perception (e.g. auditory or visual), consciousness, attention, awareness and plasticity. In particular I am very interested in Prof. McAlpine's Neural Coding of Complex Sounds group. One of his publications has been a strong source for my master's thesis. Although my research so far dealt with perception I do not want to limit myself to this, and the one extra year of preparation at UCL is perfect for me to discover areas of neuroscience with the help of courses such as Advanced Neuroanatomy, Pain or Neurobiology of Behaviour. By the time I finish my PhD I hope to already have found a position as a postdoctoral fellow, and eventually I would like to lead my own neuroscience research group.

The reason I choose to apply to the neuroscience PhD program of xyz is my background as a physicist. My training has helped me develop strong statistical methodology such as statistical signal processing and statistical modelling, both of which are extensively used in neuroscience. Although having done some neuroscience courses, I still feel that I need to prepare more to get a better grasp of the field, and the extra one year is perfect for that. I am confident that your department can benefit from my enthusiasm, diligence, and analytical thinking. Applying theory to find new ways to approach a problem and derive a solution that produces worthwhile data is one of the most beautiful things a researcher can experience, and I would be very happy to share this joy with your institution. All that I need is an opportunity and an opening.

Thank you for taking the time to read my application.

Best Regards,

Is his name really Normingtonly? That is a unique one...

Specifically I hope to use my experience in brain imaging and my physics background to discover the ways in which cognition, emotions, awareness, and decisions are processed in the brain. (right here, add one more sentence before concluding the paragraph -- the most important sentence. What will you accomplish if you get to discover these things? This is a good place to establish that theme -- right here at the end of the first paragraph.)

...doing something you love is the greatest provider to your source of well-being.

You already found something astounding in the previous paragraph, so don't write "find it fascinating" here. Aim for big accomplishments: In particular I intend to contribute to the field of cognitive neuroscience fascinating using non-invasive methods such as fMRI, rt-fMRI, MEG or EEG for the benefit of _________, ________, and ___________.

:-)

You can have Romania as your theme, but if that is the case, you should mention Romania in almost every paragraph. You should mention it at the end of that first paragraph. Your theme can involve some connection between cognitive neuroscience and your background in Romania. I don't think you have successfully maintained a memorable theme, as you intended. However, this still is an impressive essay!! I think it will impress all who read it.

If you want to continue to develop a memorable theme for the essay, think of the theme for your life as it is happening now. What would the theme be? Maybe your theme involves "walking away" from things, or maybe it involves a search for the truth of human nature through the processes of cognition. If you can get in touch with the theme for the story of your life now and in the coming years, what is it? Let the reader come away from this reading with a phrase in mind -- a memorable phrase. "Searching for something with neuroscience"

"Memories of Romania as I study cognition and neuroscience"

--- a short phrase gets planted in the reader's mind the way a ninja's grappling hook secures her to the building.

:-)

Wow, thanks a lot Kevin, I will work on the theme. You've made some really eye-opening points.

Concerning the name of the alleged Prof. -- I made it up, but it sounded nice, so I left it.

I get your point on the theme. I will come up with something memorable, something that
"gets planted in the reader's mind the way a ninja's grappling hook secures her to the building."
:)

:-) haha nice...

hi wiggie!
This is an example of a compound sentence, so it needs needs a comma after the conjunction:
"The road one travels in life is not always a straight one, and my personal history so far exemplifies this quite well.

I also crossed out "so far." Try reading it without those words and see if it is a more respectable sentence. I often look at some stuff I wrote and see that words need to be taken out... and it is weird, because when I originally wrote it they seemed to belong!

Most of all I would like to get to know and use real time fMRI to study on-line training and conditioning. ---- instead of saying most of all, try rephrasing this sentence to express a specific vision for the future, so the reader sees that you are obviously putting thought into a future of using this technology. Then the reader will draw her OWN conclusion that you especially want to get to know and use real time fMRI to study on-line training and conditioning.

:-)

Thanks for the pointers Kevin. After reading the essay, do you consider it to be compelling? Would it stay with you or is it more like a blah essay. What could make it more compelling? I fear it is slightly general and bla-ish.

oh and one more thing, is it common practice now to refer to a general he or she using the pronoun she? I assume this is the method used to abolish gender differentiation.

cheerio

Fewer words. That is always the answer. That's why Yoda and all the Zen masters use short phrases.

Right at the beginning, hit the reader with a concept that makes this essay meaningful and unique. all you have to do is make an assertion about the significance of your chosen field, but make it in a way that the reader might disagree with. That gets the reader involved. In a research paper, it is called having an "arguable thesis," but it works in other places, too.

Right in that first paragraph, you can make a claim, like: A background in physics gives me a unique perspective on cognition, emotion, awareness, and decision-making processes, because I can see underlying principles that unity physics and psychology.

The reader says, "Really? That seems interesting... a physics-psychologist. Let me keep reading and see if I agree about this notion that a physicist has a special perspective."

:-)

I added an "anecdote". I hope the transition is alright and it is believable. Would appreciate a comment on the first paragraph. Besides that the rest looks good to me. Thanks for your help!

Thank you once again for your time and consideration.

Best Regards,

Neurosciensce PhD SOP, change of direction, strong?

I have posted another version of this, yet I need to repost, since half a year has passed, and I have had no results. Besides, I thought that one was weak and I hope this one is strong.

I hope I have answered these questions:
Why Phd?
Why at that particular institution?
Why that topic?
Am I a convincing?
Is it boring or do I want to keep reading?

Thank you for taking the time to read my application.

Best Regards,

Let it suffice that there is far too much about the particulars of the research and not enough about the emotional/feeling impetus that is presumably operating behind the scenes, somewhere, or you're a pretty gray fellow. The tone is decidedly breathless and echoing against the deluxe train of no transitions, no rest for contemplation, and a stream of high science hip research analysis that matches well with the overall show of high strung seriousness that is supposed to portray you are very focused on this admission opportunity.

I don't know the story behind this paper, or what it is you're trying to accomplish, so pardon me if I am missing something.

Anyway, let's start with your first paragraph, which ends about a certain institution being the right fit, and the neuroscience department there in particular. Don't you think you are jumping the gun a little here, using the present tense as if it were a foregone conclusion that you'll study neuroscience, when you haven't ever actually taken an inventory of neuroscience?

I haven't the mind to sift through this and point out the certain mistake in not speaking enough as a still prospective student and learner.

I'll get around to it later, but some of it has to do with being overeager and mentioning in stilted terms, the processes that you know about and used. At one part, you just laid it down and assumed that the reader had that much of a care for the petty specifics you're rehashing in such anticipation.

Again, I'll have to look at this closer to slice the mold and cold that I recognize but cannot quite isolate without a little background on what this paper is for, and how it fits, lest I appear rash.

So provide a short caption about this, and I'll get around to clarifying the problems I have with it.

Hi Mustafa, thanks for taking time to look over the statement.

Ok so let me understand what you are saying in your first paragraph. It is rather bland and doesn't say much about me. Is this correct?

I would like to mention the fact that I am not a native English speaker. I do my best and I think I have a good grasp of the grammar. Alas, I cannot come up with the poetic type of writing that you have just demonstrated in your post. In fact, I don't see this to be very important in a natural science related field.

I have also read a lot about how to write a statement of purpose, and stating the research which I have done was mentioned in every one of those writings. This is why I wrote down my research experience. I thought it necessary to portray the fact that my research path was not focused solely on one subject, instead I went through a bunch of them and ended up liking neuroscience the best (through my MSc thesis). I do admit it needs some more exciting talk. I would appreciate it if you could give me some examples.


What I am trying to accomplish is to give a good picture about myself, why I want to do a PhD and why neuroscience and why at that institution. The final goal is, obviously, to convince the committee that I am worthy of entering that program at their institution.

About my first paragraph: fair enough, you are right, I am jumping the gun. I will take the last part of the sentence out.


Could you expand this idea, please?

I am eagerly awaiting your reply and further comments.

Yes, the first paragraph provides a clue about the improper/inaccurate wording in some places. For example, take the first sentence and it appears exaggerated. Insead of " After doing both my bachelors and masters", you should ease in, because this is not enough time to digest the information and read simultaneously. Basically, after another look, it appears you are rushing through, not taking enough time to branch out on each thought, but just briskly running through your densely packed speech.

This is advice that reflects a profound state of mind used in reading/writing, if I may say so, which maybe I may, because I use a profound state of mind like this, too. All three of us will have different versions of it, but it involves a quality of being sensitized to the reader's experience and seeing whether the lines carry your attention along. Reading is hard work if you are being told many different things and asked to make sense of them all, but if you "branch out on each thought" you can keep the reader's attention unbroken.

I wrote all that before looking at the essay. It does not reflect anything about the essay; it's just a rant about what mustafa said.

As I look back to the essay for this characteristic of rushing...
I can see how this seems rushed: After doing both my bachelor's and master's degrees in physics I decided to take a break-----but it is because it is a long sentence. You can have a different effect with a shorter sentence, and that is probably what I would do, but it is not ALWAYS good to start with a short sentence.

But perhaps it is good not to start with an informative sentence. If someone says your writing seems rushed, look to see if you have too many informative sentences and not enough sentences to "delight" the reader's attention. I don't know why I put delight inside" " marks. I'm crazy, there is no telling what I will do. So, the point is that you should sometimes inform the reader and sometimes soothe the reader's senses or capture her interest.