Hi everyone, I really need your help, I would really appreciate some feedback to my personal statement to study MSc Finance in order to improve it. Thank you in advance for any comments. <3
SOP - MSc in Finance in Canada
After earning a degree in International Economics and Business, I have decided to take further study focusing on Finance. What motivates me to take higher education is that I want to be a professional in financial consultant that can support Vietnamese companies in the context of globalization. Since Vietnam was a member of EEC and CPTTP, a large number of Vietnamese companies have been struggling to mobilize capital from foreign sources. The reason is that during the preparation and readiness of integration, the labor force in baking and finance is still limited as compered to market demand, resulting the need for employees working in finance sector, especially higher education employees.
Earning a master's degree in Finance would ideally complement my undergraduate degree in international economics and business. In the university, I am fortunate to have been exposed to many interesting and challenging fields. My background in international economics provides me with both micro and macro perspectives of the economy. I also get familiar with analyzing and interpreting the data after taking econometrics and statistics courses. Besides, I learned fundamentals knowledge of many finance-related theories and concepts, particularly the course fundamentals of finance. Through case studies and lessons, I broaden my understanding of financial market while learning finance and its relationship to economics. After the course, I was inspired a lot by the lecturer, Prof _____ and gradually have passion with finance.
As an under-graduate student, I have learned soft skills by participating in different voluntary programs and part-time jobs. In the first year, I actively participated in many voluntary programs, which taught how to be active and multitasking in my education and future career. Apart from that, I sought part-time job to gain practical experience and financially support my study as well. I worked as a teaching assistant in an English center so that I can practice communicating effectively with students and be more diligence and patent.
However, I still need to learn much more about techniques in finance, financial applications and acquire hands-on experience of financial analysis. Since my interests are corporate finance, personal financial management and financial risk management, a Master's Degree in Finance from ______ will provide me with theoretical and technical understanding. This program also provides knowledge on the idea of practical approaches that enable me to develop and expertise in the core areas of financial strategies. To be more specific, the financial risk management, financial instruments and their markets together with financial theory will give me a strong foundation in financial strategy and help me to gain a better insight in financial decision making while financial statistics and accounting will help me to excel my analytical skills and abilities to interpret numerical and statistical data. Equipped with the technical expertise and professional skills learned in your university, I will be prepared for the challenges that I will encounter in the future.
I believe that pursuing master' s study in Canada is a great choice because I would experience an academically- challenging environment. Canada has long been a attractive country to study as it has developed a one of the first-rate education system with high standards and global recognition. Another reason why I want to study abroad is that I can embrace and experience a new culture which help me to make friends from all over the world. The learning environment with international students from many countries will not only give me unique experience but also give me great opportunities to exchange knowledge and cultures.
In the future, I hope to work for commercial bank or institutions as a financial consultant in order to help them use their resources to the greatest advantage. I plan to get my certification as a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) as well. After earning a master's degree together with the CFA certification, my initial goal is to obtain a rigorous and demanding position in this profession. Finally, I hope that, in my passion and eagerness, become a deserving and creditable candidate of your course and devote my ambition to your developments. I am confident that I am well-prepared to meet the demands of your program and I greatly appreciate your consideration.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4785 Hatrang, is this a personal statement for the university or a personal statement for a Canadian visa application? You need to be clear about which audience the statement is addressing because the personal statement for each one has difference guidelines and prompt expectations. Overall, this is an effective visa personal statement but a bit too long for a university based personal statement. For the university based personal statement, you need to indicate not why you chose to study in Canada, but rather why you chose to study at the Canadian university. If written for a visa statement, then you need to address both the choice of country and university. What makes your essay strong for a visa application is the clear desire to return home after you complete your studies. For the university, the academic and professional background that you have are plus points. I can't go beyond these comments because I am not sure which type of visa you are applying for. Best of luck !
Thanks @anestinelum for helping me. I will double check the grammar
@Holt
Thank you so much with your advice. Actually this is a personal statement for the university. Because I am an undergraduate, I don't have much professional background to add. So how can I make it becomes an effective statement for university and scholarship?
