hi ,guys , i am not quite sure my article , could you give me some suggestions about grammers or other advices, thank you so much!
In today 's world, it is private companies rather than the government who pay for and carry out the scientific research.To what extend do you agree or disagree that the advantages overweight its disadvatages?
In the recent days, a more popular phenomenon was coming up with instead the private companies always pay more investment for the science rather than the government who should do this.To explore why this phenomenon would occurred, we need to considerate both rewarding issue and for what kind of role did the government or companies play.
Obiviously, it is no doubt that the companies do that is because they can get a profitable rewarding as the result, which is the best incentive for reviving those companies. The companies, such as Google or Microsoft, have invested in reasearch increasingly as a big part of their cost. The kind of behaviour would not only guarantee its own immaculate productions but take a benefical occupancy in the various and competitive market.
Moreover, we must admit that the government would be lost burden if the companies could take much of investment. It seems to be, not surprisingly, a win-win situation.In addition, the saved budgets for the government could be taken as to fill its financial deficit or invested in the other part of essential, for instance, the infrastucture, elementary education and so on.
In another aspect, what the companies donate to the scientific research is not merely limited to money. It concludes other resources, like intellects, advanced management and well-equipped lab.All the efforts by the companies, in some sense, will be considered as an effective way to value its greatness. As we know, a successful enterprise is not only related to how much profits it made but also links that how many contributions and responsibilities it undertaken.After all, a notable company has profoundly affected to the whole society.
Introduction is very important in ielts essay. (In the recent days, a more popular phenomenon was coming up with instead the private companies always pay more investment for the science rather than the government who should do this.To explore why this phenomenon would occurred, we need to considerate both rewarding issue and for what kind of role did the government or companies play.)
a)To explore why this phenomenon would occurred, we need to considerate both rewarding issue and for what kind of role did the government or companies play.-------you should write such points in body but not in introduction. They asked whether do you agree or not. so you should commit to one view in introduction. they asked whether do you agree or disagree that pros outweigh cons. you did not mention your opinion rather you talked about the causes for it and the solutions for it-------- for which side? agree or disagree.
Body: 1st para---you talked about private company profits
2nd para-- govt can focus on other issues ,
3rd para--need professionals and other resources.
but here they asked that privatization has more advantages than disadvantages. YES OR NO?
you put ideas but nor correlated to the question.
if you are agree, why do you agree that private companies has more pros than cons?
a) you wrote in 1st para that private companies will have more benefits, the points you mentioned will go against to your agree' view .you should write points related to society development
b) 2nd para points are related to the task
c) 3rd para- you wrote companies. companies include both private and public. so you should be particular about that company word. the examiner may get confused if you just mention company.
Lastly, conclusion. you should add conclusion at the end in a separate para.
sorry, if it doesn't help you
In the recent days, a more popular phenomenon was coming up with instead the private companies always pay more investment for the science rather than the government who should do this.To explore why this phenomenon would occurred, we need to considerate both rewarding issue and for what kind of role did the government or companies play.
I guess you follow this format for the introduction;
Hook - Begin your essay with a strong sentence that captures reader's attention and also relates well with your prompt. (e.g. Scientific research plays a vital role in advancing technology further and further.)
Background of the issue - Discuss the issue stated by the prompt and highlight its significance
Your Opinion - State your opinion .
