Please check if there is any grammar error or anywhere i can polish! Also please give me any advise to improve this essay! Thank you so much in advance!
Discuss how involved you have been with your community through volunteer, neighborhood, place of worship, or other activities. Describe why community is or is not important to you. Give examples of playing a leadership role in your school or community.(no exceeding 1000 char.)
Last January, when I was motivated by the volunteers of the American Cancer Society, I had the chance to promote a team and raise funds for this organization. I founded Team 'Awesome' with my best friend Nancy in the nationwide activity Relay for Life, and we invited our friends and neighbors to join us. I first learned the mission statements of the organization. Then, I took the full advantage of my relationships with people at school, and asked for their support. I also created a list of donors' names and the amounts they donated. Moved by my passion, many friends outside of team benevolently helped me in the fundraising process. With their help, I raised about two hundred dollars personally for the American Cancer Society. We gathered all the money, and I sent it to the local bank along with the list of the donors. After this, I have become more appreciative of my relationships with others. This event taught me the lesson that one finger cannot lift a small stone. My friends and teammates also had an enjoyable experience and were happy to contribute to their society.
P.S: ALSO I EXCEED 88 CHARACTERS. IF YOU CAN MAKE THIS ESSAY ANY SHORTER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Discuss how involved you have been with your community through volunteer, neighborhood, place of worship, or other activities. Describe why community is or is not important to you. Give examples of playing a leadership role in your school or community.(no exceeding 1000 char.)
Last January, when I was motivated by the volunteers of the American Cancer Society, I had the chance to promote a team and raise funds for this organization. I founded Team 'Awesome' with my best friend Nancy in the nationwide activity Relay for Life, and we invited our friends and neighbors to join us. I first learned the mission statements of the organization. Then, I took the full advantage of my relationships with people at school, and asked for their support. I also created a list of donors' names and the amounts they donated. Moved by my passion, many friends outside of team benevolently helped me in the fundraising process. With their help, I raised about two hundred dollars personally for the American Cancer Society. We gathered all the money, and I sent it to the local bank along with the list of the donors. After this, I have become more appreciative of my relationships with others. This event taught me the lesson that one finger cannot lift a small stone. My friends and teammates also had an enjoyable experience and were happy to contribute to their society.
P.S: ALSO I EXCEED 88 CHARACTERS. IF YOU CAN MAKE THIS ESSAY ANY SHORTER, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!