'questions from medical science' - SOP for admission to masters in Public health

Please give relevant feedback on the SOP drafted , regarding the changes to be done or additions to be included.

I have redrafted my SOP for Masters in Public health admission,please comment

According to cancer researcher Robert A. Weinberg, "If we lived long enough, sooner or later we all would get cancer."

The application of latest medical technology,diagnostic tool,researches in pharmaceutical and other medical field has definitely resulted in increased life span of human being with increase incidence of malignancy in the society. We are already well versed with the etiology of cancer, now its the time to focus on preventable etiological factors so as to reduce the incidence of disease in the society,this I was convinced of during my five years work experience in Haematology Department and has acted as a impetus in my life to pursue further education in Public health field.

I graduated as a Bachelors Of homeopathy,medicine &surgery (BHMS) in 2001.During the one year intership programme had rotational postings in different departments like Medicine,Surgery, Gynaecology&Obstetrics,Orthopaedics,Paediatrics,Opthalmology,ENT,Denti stry and ICU.As a part of PSM curriculum had posting at infectious disease hospital, worked at peripheral health center where in participated in anemia work up & general hygine programms.For four years post intership worked as a house doctor mostly handling the patients from medicine dept.As one of the housedoctor was on maternity leave,I was posted at the cancer day care ward under the guidance of another senior doctor when had handled pateints with soild organ malignancies.An encounter with a patient who had rare presentation for his diagnosis, turned to be a turning point in my life.The patient had tricky presentation with petechiae and prolonged prothrombin time, who on intense labrotary and radiological investigation was diagnosed to have prostate cancer.The first hand experience of evaluating this case motivated me to futher explore the field and realised the growing potential and spectrum of work to be done in this field.

In the year 2005 , could continue to pursue my interest as got an opportunity to work as a junior resident in Haematology department with the Dr Shashikant Apte well know haematologist from India .The earlier work experience in the oncology department , definitely contributed in getting well versed with the field of haematolgy.Working along with Dr Apte, could extend my spectrum beyond the administration ofconventional chaemotheraphy and routine work by assisting him in bone marrow transplants including allogenic and autologous transplants, beigning from cell separation to administration of stem cells .The routine work schedule included management of OPD and IPD patients,administration of chaemotheraphy &intrathecal drugs,performing procedures like insertion longlines,lumbarpunctures,bonemarrow aspiration &biopsy. Apart from routine work,I participated in Departmental activities like case discussions,journal and article reading and presentation, which helped to enrich the knowledge and also to remain updated . Working in haematology department just was not restricted to maliganantdisorders,here I was subjected to learn and manage different blood disorderslike Thalassemia,Haemophilia, thrombotic disorders,Immumthrombocyticpenic purpura.

There exists global variation in incidence and mortality of a particular type of cancer than all- sites cancer which has generated a view that human cancer are caused by environmental factors- human behaviour,habits,lifestyle over which individual has no control,80 percent of the malignancies are attributed to these factors and are therefore preventable.In alldeveloped and developing countries with the increasing logevity of life incidence of malignancy is increasing,the most significant risk factor being age and those surviving primary cancers are at risk of developing secondary cancer.Cancer prevalence in India is estimated to be around 2.5 million, with over 8,00,000 new cases and 5,50,000 deaths occurring each year due to this disease.In India most of the health professionals are involved in managing patients at tertiary level where in I have a personal interest to enter in field of Public health(cancer epidemiology)and to do research work targeting varied etiological factors triggering the onset of mailgnancy in human body.This study will definitely provide resources, interventions and preventive activities which when applied to the community will make the job of identifing, preventing and treating the disease a lot more easier.The study of cancer epidemiology would be a very small step in reducing the global burden of the disease.

As of now, in India Public health field is relatively less explored and is not much popular and offers no educational courses in filed of public health. However,I believe that it holds great potential in improving community health,and will also make for a challenging,but rewarding career. An MPH program with a concentration in Epidemiology is the first step to take,as it will focus on study of basic research skill to study the disease determinants,and will also help in application of epidemiologic skills in community.The masters programme will make me capable to do indiviual research and to work for the betterment of the society as a whole.

Studying epidemilogy at ... school of public health will give me an opportunity to flourish my career in public health. The rigorous curriculum,reputed faculty,academicactivities of the epidemiology department will make me fullproof public health professional.In addition research activities conducted in different cancer fields will definitely help me to boost my interest in cancer epidemiology .

The opportunity to study public health at your reputed school , will contribute in laying down strong foundation in public health epidemiology which will play vital role for my future plans in public health cancer epidemiology career.With my academic background from field of medicine including study of preventive Social medicine and the ground work in the same and clinical experience of eight years , I can put forward to say that I will be able to complete the said course competenantly with diligence and best of my abilities

No need for a comma here.

Hey, please go help a few other essayists. You write so well; they could use your help!


This quote is interesting, but it is part of the MESSAGE OF YOUR ESSAY?

What is that distinct message you want to leave with the reader?


This is very impersonal. Maybe you should add some emotional appeal. Cancer is an emotional subject.
Your writing shows great intelligence, but it is lacking some special theme


Let's not say "said course." It is trying to hard to write in a fancy way. Just simply and powerfully express your vision of the future. Open up and be honest. :-)