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This changed my perspective of medical care- why you chose public health.


Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
Feb 17, 2016   #1
. Your personal statement should describe your:
•Reasons for interest in public health
•Reasons for interest in program of study and/or concentration
•Reasons for interest in the school or program
•Career goals

I am looking for every kind of feedback whether grammar mistake or sentence structure. Thank you in advance for every feedback of yours.


"Everything hinges on education. Without it, you can't advocate for proper health care, for housing, for a civil rights bill that ensures your rights." - Susan L. Taylor.

Pursuing Masters of Public Health is my step to gain that education towards my goal to work for renowned health organizations like WHO or UNICEF to benefit the population at large in times where, according to WHO statistics, the global health workforce shortage is expected to reach 12.9 million by 2035. Being a dental surgeon, I realized that dental treatment is costly, is urban concentrated, does not have many active volunteer agencies and has low governmental focus and weak policy. As a consequence dental checkups are mostly reactive than preventive and marginalized people do not have access to doctors and health care facilities. The program from Rutgers School of Public Health along with its training would help me to acquire the skills with required education for working as a public health leader.

I chose medical career because as a child I was fascinated by the persona of white-coat attired doctors in hospitals caring for myriad patients. When I partook in rural dental camps as a dental student at ********* College, at Haryana (India), I diagnosed and treated under-privileged patients with primary dental care, delivered education on oral health including talking about the ill effects of chronic smoking, tobacco & betel-nut chewing. This experience made me realize that the patients I saw in hospitals were just the tip of the iceberg. The doctor to patient ratio in rural areas was abysmal with too far apart, ill equipped and under staffed medical centers. It disturbed me when I recognized that the urban healthcare system is not serving under-privileged people who are not being exposed to simple preventive health measures like maintaining hygiene, clean water usage, no tobacco use, balanced nutritious diet, sex education, physical exercise and taking advantage of the free vaccination programs and fluoridation programs. This changed my perspective of medical care and intrigued me to work for the causes and prevention of diseases along with their treatment fostering the need of becoming a Public Health Worker.

My zeal to learn about cause of diseases and how they could be prevent at the first place frames my interest in Epidemiology. With academic knowledge and practical training, I endeavor to advance my field experience through Rutgers School. As an under-grad student, I learned basics of oral epidemiology like calculation of indices for caries and periodontal diseases, studied about screening tests for cancerous lesions and disease patterns in population. Now I want to pursue broader aspects of dental care and epidemiology, increasing my knowledge about reasons of major outbreak of oral ailments prevailing in developing nations and how to affect a change in health policies by pursuing Masters of Public Health (MPH). The doctor can only help those who come to them, but a public health worker can educate the uninitiated to help themselves.

After undergrad education, I chose to spend my time as an observer at a state sponsored Government hospital. I witnessed patients with traumatic injuries, disabilities and severe infections - many a times with, unknown cause and limited accessibility to health services. These grim situations expanded my world view and steeled my decision to become a public health worker. I assisted dental surgeons in surgeries and learned how to comfort terminally ill patients, to treat disabled patients, to manage time considering the long queue of patients and to effectively work in a team in emergency accident cases wherein inter-disciplinary doctors need to co-ordinate and treat the patient. These experiences have equipped me with skills of emergency care as well as handling of incapacitated patients with compassion and diligence.

My in-depth knowledge and zeal to serve landed me a job in private clinic, Oral Rehabilitation and Implant Centre, a distinguished private clinic with daily patients in excess of 50, as an associate dentist where I treated patients independently. Impressed by my manual skills, confidence, decision making and ability to work in a team, my employer (Dr.*****) often delegated me to responsibility to run the whole clinic in his absence. Due to dearth of quality public health institutions in India, I enrolled in and completed a 2 year distance education program in healthcare services along with my practice. It helped me to develop insight into mechanics of health facility through subjects like strategic management, hospital organization and research methodology. I want to cement that with MPH from a renowned institution like Rutgers School of Public Health known for its interdisciplinary approach and research to improve health and prevent disease in diverse populations. Along with my practice and studies, I volunteered in my community by becoming member of Dharmyog Foundation (India) to organize health camps, attended by hundreds, to help people incorporate healthier lifestyle. After moving to US in March 2015, I rendered my services in the nutritional education course for kids in New York School as well as in environmental projects as farm volunteers carried out in New York Battery Park.

I perceived that plight of health issues is worldwide and I seek to support my passion for betterment with possibility to hone my skills for research on prevention and control of human disease through MPH. I am keen to participate in program to stretch my boundaries and to explore the dimensions of healthcare industry on a global scale. I endeavor to advance my leadership qualities through innovative techniques and field experience by your school. After MPH, I look forward to 1 year dental public health program which is available in Rutgers School only. With academic knowledge and practical training, I am hankering after to start my own volunteer organization to advocate the health issues in the most needed places in my native country. My experience and zest to make a mark in the lives of poorest inspires me to progress further on a career towards global health with a focus on fieldwork instead of merely academic research. I believe MPH degree from Rutgers School will advance my efforts to attain health objectives at both national and international level.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 18, 2016   #2
You are less likely to make mistakes if you use shorter sentences.

Pursuing a Masters of Public Health is my step to gain that education towards the next step in my trek toward a goal to work opportunities with renowned ...

... enable me to benefit the global population at large in times where at a time when, according to WHO ...

As Being a dental surgeon, I realized... ---This sentence is great. It conveys a lot of your intelligence and experience.

As a consequence dental checkups are mostly reactive rather than preventive and marginalized ...

I chose a medical career because ...

"Zeal" is an unusual word, and I've never seen anyone use it. There's nothing wrong with it, really, but I think you should use 'enthusiasm instead because it is just so strange to see the word zeal.

I witnessed patients with traumatic injuries, disabilities and severe infections - many a times with, often with unknown cause and limited accessibility to..

These grim situations expanded my world view and steeled my decision to become a public health worker. ---- This sentence is short, and it's excellent. It hits the reader hard because it is not too long and it shows your insight.

With academic knowledge and practical training, I hankering aspire to start my own volunteer organization --- 'hankering'... it's another word like zeal. Don't use those words, because they sound silly, even though you use them correctly. This essay is great, and I think it will impress all readers. You're an impressive person, both in your accomplishments and in your inclination toward benefiting people.


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