Hi,
my prompt is Please explain your interest in this program in a separate sheet. Outline your professional objectives and what you hope to gain from this program
Maximum is 500 words, but i manage to write only 406 words. Please help me to check my essay. Any input or critics will be very appreciated.
Learning is a never ending process, more over related to the importance of developing human resources in order to contribute to the developments of nation especially developing countries such as my home country.
My major academic interest is Computer Science. During my bachelor degree completion, most of the subjects I took helped me to deepen my understanding on Computer Science world. Math for example has taught me the rigorous reasoning involved in logical thinking of which Computers are the perfect mechanized model.
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I don't know a lot about English grammar but being a recruiter I have edited the thing that annoy me the most. I had given some recommendations hope you like them.
Learning is a never ending process, more over related to the importance of developing human resources ...
An abrupt change both paragraph don't coordinate with each other. Add some point showing importance of Computer Science.
Hi Ammar,
Thanks a lot for your feedback. This is really helping me a lot. I've made many changes in my essay especially the first paragraph ( I changed all ). How do you think ? Once again, thanks
Globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives these days. People all over the world are becoming closer than ever before. Goods and services that appear in a country will be immediately promoted in the others. Furthermore, globalization also creates an aggressive competition in industry and being a leader in this globalization era is my professional objectives.
My major academic interest is Computer Science. During my bachelor degree completion, most of the subjects I took helped me to deepen my understanding on Computer Science world. Information Technology Management for example has taught me the rigorous reasoning involved in logical thinking of which Computers are the perfect mechanized model.
Along with my college life, I began to look for opportunity in professional world to overcome my curiosity on how computer science being applied in real life. I started my professional career in 2008 as an IT staff in one of the company in Indonesia. Based on my work, sooner I was then promoted to become Senior Infrastructure Engineer.
After graduating my Bachelor Degree, I switched the company and due to previous experience I was hired as IT Supervisor. These several positions allowed me to learn many new things in professional aspect, starting from how to balance and delegate task effectively, interpersonal skills and how critical teamwork and quick decision making in business.
As well as spending time both studying and working before, I then realized that mostly what I learned in my college life is technical skills. In professional world, not only that we need the technical skills, but leadership and management skills are also important for a person to become an effective leader. Participating in Global Leaders for Innovation and Knowledge Program will help me to dig deeper my leadership and management skills as well as sharpen it. This program would pave the way for me, provides me the opportunities to explore, to be creative and to improve the potential I have. This would be a perfect approach to develop systematic understanding of self development growth and how they would support me to achieve my future goals
Through the program's three pillars (Management Theory, Liberal Arts, and Methodology & Practice), I expect gaining lots of in-depth knowledge either theoretically or practically to prepare myself to become a future leader. The core module taught would help me deepen my understanding in developing the judge value and the skills of deciding and acting on the spot. Beside the knowledge itself, I also believe that I could improve myself socially such as making new international friends, exchanging knowledge and culture.
Seems legitimate I am still weak at grammar so concern other people before sending it .
Only problem I could see wad
After graduating my Bachelor Degree what else can you graduate from it seems like a repetition.It should be like
After graduating, I switched the company
Even if you want to add it use Bachelor program rather than Bachelor degree.
If you feel my feedback helpful do like it so that I can also get help on my topics
Thanks, Amma. Really appreciate your help. Can any one other please have a comment on my essay ?
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